1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

I was Youtube-ing various episodes on lions and the way that they attack.  There was this one hunting group that was tracking a lion to hunt and kill and soon these hunters become the hunted, that is the lion crossed their tracks and started hunting them.  As they were walking through the thick brush they didn't see the ensuing lion barely 25 yards in front of them waiting.  In my opinion, if these hunters weren't together in a pack of men (call this accountability) I would highly doubt that the hunter would have gotten off the fatal shot that prevented him from being fatally wounded.

The Actlikemen conference really used a few catch words that grabbed my attention: 1) references to lion (sin in our lives and in our houses) and 2) legacy.  Both of these phrases really inspired me to post on a few pointed topics through the conference.

This lead me to think about life as a man.  So many of us want to prove things in our lives:  Are we man enough?  Can we be the provider?  Do are wives look up to us?  Am I the Man?  Am I better then them?  Have a made enough money? These would be things that are secular and worldly but still creep into the church today (old self vs new self).  Then there is the Spiritual search:  Am I doing what God wants me to do?  How do I know what God wants me to do?  Am I the Spiritual Leader that God called me to be?  How can I keep sinning if I am a born-again Christian?

Let's take a look at two references to the Lion in our life:

Step 1:  The devil prowls around like a roaring lion waiting to devour someone.  (1 Peter 5:8).  This lion reference is against a fallen angel of God.  One who Jesus refers to the liar of all liars.  He would want nothing more then to see us isolated and weak and caught in sin (or sin's snare) so he could devour us.  Ephesians 6:12 says, "12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

• Put on the Armor of God daily - Ephesians 6.  Don't take this lightly.  Spiritual warfare is real and is ongoing 24/7.  The devil and his minions do not rest.
• Believe in Jesus's work on the cross - Jesus was born of a virgin, died on a cross, rose again in three days and now sits at the right hand of the Father.  Romans 10:9 says that if we believe this and confess our sins and call upon the name of the Lord - we will be saved.  This means that our sins are forgiven!  Our sins of the past, the present and the future.
• Do not do this alone - Galatians 6 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. 4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, 5 for each one should carry their own load."  God does not want us to do this alone.  God wants us to walk in community.  Our brothers and sisters in Christ in our local church is family.  Get involved!  Join a men's group (if you are a woman reading this - join a womens group) and/or join a mini-church.
• Read Scripture Daily
• Pray Daily
• Repent of your sins when you slide - confess to your brother and allow true accountability in your life

Reference 2:  When we have that lion in our house and we think that we can keep this "pet sin" a safe little lie in our house, from our friends, from our wives or work or friends or community - we are kidding ourselves.  God sees everything.  There is no hiding from Him.  Steps to take removing this lion from our lives (this pet sin):

• Identify the sin (the stronghold in our life) - is it a computer?  A website(s)?  Our imagination?  Drugs?  Alcohol? Improper and unhealthy flirtatious friendships?  Anger? Fill in your blank _________
• Deal with it - Read Romans 12 and Colossians 3.
• Drag it out of your house (your body is a temple) Put a proverbial bullet in its head - Kill that proverbial lion (end the friendship or improper relationship)  Throw the computer out or put accountability software that does not allow you to manipulate the passwords.  Deal with your Anger/Alcohol/Fill in the Blank _____.  Get help, get counseling, join Celebrate Recovery.  Confess it to your brother and to God.

What are some things that you have to do?  Or would add to this post?

Blessings,

D

An unguarded strength is a double weakness...

There are things that I really like about men's conferences, leadership conferences, and so on.  Things that give us fresh insight and/or things that we want to do different or augment in our lives.  Things that we are going to change.  And if we are all honest, for those of us that go to these conferences, we find ourselves for the first week (few weeks, months or slightly thereafter) doing these things that we say we are going to do and THEN life steps back in and we lose our focus and our way.  Whether we are too busy at work or too busy at home or too busy at church or just plain too busy in all jaunts of life, we just set back into our old ways.  Our old self nature - it's just too easy, like sin in our lives.For some of us, though, things are different.  Something connected our spirit to our hearts and minds.  Something poked a chord and or a nerve in our lives and we realized that, "yes I have been lax", and/or, "yes, I need to change the way that I do that."  This past weekend was like that for me.  Greg Laurie spoke on Friday night and used this phrase, "an unguarded strength is a double weakness."  So often in life, if I reflect and look back on my journal(s), I can be brutally honest and say that this does happen to me, more so than not if I really want to be honest.  This doesn't make me a bad dad or poor husband or whatever conclusion society could draw, rather, it makes me ineffective as a spiritual leader.   It makes me neutralized as dad and as an effective husband.

Before you condemn me reading this post, realize that I am condemning myself.   At the ActLikeMen conference Matt Chandler said something very poignant in that when we get home from our days jobs (whatever shift you work) that we still have shift 2 and shift 3 to handle and to engage and to finish.  That is, to serve our wives and our children if God has blessed us with them.  We need to start acting like men.  Now before I totally throw myself under the bus, I want to say that there are things that my wife will say that I do really good:  1) I help clean (kitchen, etc.,) 2) I help with Laundry, 3) I help with the bedtime and homework and the like, BUT if I am really honest I can do so much more for my family.  For instance,  I could do the following:

Set the Pace - Honestly I am blown away at the pace at which culture/society tells us to travel.  Let's be honest, if work was given full access to our lives some of us could work 70, 80 and over 100 hours and still have "to-do lists".  Travel Sports (don't get me going on this one) Hobbies and Park District activities and for some families (if they have time for other things) - Youth Group.  I can Set the Pace by being intentional on how I pray, how I read God's word and apply it to my daily life and I can create a healthy balance for my family between chores, homework and fun times with Mom & Dad & Friends and Family.

Time Management - The Hebrew day (back before electricity) was 6am to 6pm and then goodnight.  If we are modern family and our kids go to school then your morning looks like this:  Mom and Dad wakes up, Kids wake up, Eat Breakfast, Change clothes, wash up (teeth brushed), Drive to School, Kids at school all day and mom and dad work from home (or at work) and so on.  There are only 24 hours in a day (and God likes us to be orderly and good stewards with our time, talent and treasure), that being said, we only have so much time in a day.  Teach our kids the gift of time.  I can do this by being an example not a sloth at home.

Give them Stewardship - I have to teach my family the value of God's time, talent and treasure that he has given me through His promise of giving us His Spirit.  That is, each one of us that has professed the name of Jesus Christ as Savior has been given fruit of the Spirit (Spiritual Gifts) to honor God.  I have to set the priorities that are so important in this order:  God, Family, Church, Work, Friends and Other.   I have to put God first in everything and as Spiritual leader I have to put my wife and family next.  The more that my family sees Jesus in me and how I serve with the gifts that he has entrusted in me, the better I serve my wife and kids, the better they inherit this stewardship and the better my lot will go at the Judgement Seat of Christ (goal = to hear our Redeemer say, "well done thou good and faithful servant.").  Teach them the value of money (to tithe, to save and how much to spend.  Live it, let them know that you practice what you preach - this is true accountability.

Be Bold - Act like men in showing your kids the strength of Jesus when you serve them.  No matter what life brings me (through trial and tribulation) show them your love and grace and mercy.  Show them that it is okay to hurt, to cry and to struggle, but show them also your unwavering faith.  Be Bold in love.  Be bold in truth and Be bold in serving.

Arm Them - The word of God is bold and effective and able to separate bone from marrow.  It is a double-edge sword.  It is truth.  Own the truth, know the word and work on memory with your children.  The more that they own the more that they will carry with them into adulthood.  Teach them to pray.  Teach them to pray for the Armor of God (Read Ephesians 6).

What are some of your lists?

As for me, this past weekend taught me an extremely valuable lesson, not only to guard my 6 (with brothers that I call men of Faith and Lance) also to doubly guard my strengths.  I can do this by daily reading of the Bible, Praying continually.  Seeking that quiet time with God (listening for his voice).  To have accountability in my life (not just from my wife, but from brothers who will be brutal and honest in love).

Blessings,

D

Unpacking the Actlikemen Conference, part 1 of 3 (or more)

This past weekend 12,600 + volunteers went to Indianapolis, Indiana to attend the third of three Act Like Men Conferences (2 in the US and 1 in Canada).  Lance and I met down there on Friday night and his son blessed us with his presence as well.  I am so thankful for all the men that accompanied me this past weekend.   I am thankful for Lance and his son serving this weekend as we sponsored the event.  I am so thankful for the men of God that brought the truth to us in an incredibly short amount of time with such a large plethora of God's words and teaching to unpack during the conference.  My head is still reeling from this event.  Actually, Lance and I several years ago talked about a men's event that we wanted to do, called "Man Up".  I think these men stole our idea or at least a lot of LegacyDad material (JUST KIDDING).  These men speak truth and these men speak from the same authority that we speak on - the Holy Bible.  The Spirit within us and having brothers and our wives holding us accountable.All of this being said, a few things that really struck home for me (personally):

• A man, who is bored and with a lot of energy at home is VERY DANGEROUS
• An unguarded strength is a double weakness
• We all do not need a manual, rather IMMANUEL
• Un-repented sin in our lives is like a lion that we keep hidden (an average lion can move 100 yards in 3 seconds) so be careful trying to entertain sin and trying to worship God

As a husband, a dad, a full-time worker, an Elder and a leader of men's ministry - I have a lot on my plate.  I continually check myself at the door of humility and try to remember my priorities:  God, Family, Church, Work, Friends and Community.  I don't always get this order right and I often fail even when I do.  However, I have brothers in my life who speak brutal truth in my life.  I have brothers (in Christ) who love me and do not judge me.  I have brothers who encourage, comfort and urge me to live a life worthy of God.  I call these brothers of mine - Men of Faith (which is also the name of our Men's Group at church).  I walked away from this confident feeling both happy and sad at the same time.  For the sad, I realized just how many at this conference do not have what we have in Men of Faith.  I felt sad because so many men (even in our church) miss the blessing of accountability and confession in men's groups.  I also felt sad in realizing just how many men need this but do not take the time to put this very thing into practice in their lives.

In 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 (NIV) we read, "¹¹ For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, ¹² encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."  This is so important not only in ministry but in everyday life.  Often we find this sort of thing counter-cultural in that the world tells us to believe the "Lone Wolf McQuaid" way of life in which we can do this on our own.  This is exactly what the devil and his minions want from us - to be isolated and alone wallowing in our own sinful lives.  If we took it to God's way then we would turn to Galatians 6 and read the following, "6 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. ³ If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. ⁴ Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, ⁵ for each one should carry their own load. ⁶ Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor. ⁷ Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. ⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. ⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. ¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

An unguarded strength is a double weakness - this has so many avenues attached to it - being overwhelmed at home, at work, at church, in the community, with our friends.....a simple way to put this is to say by just living life we can forget to be in the word daily.  To pray continuously.  To have accountability and to confess our sins to others.  We are not telling you to confess to a priest or to have a man forgive us, quite the contrary.  Rather, by confessing out loud, then we no longer have that sin in the darkness like a lion in our dark closet.  We bring it into the light (to our brothers) and we give others permission to hold us accountable to and to take a proverbial "2x4" to us when we are not walking the right path (in love not in anger).  And by bringing this to the light, we have repentance to God the Father through his son Jesus Christ giving honor to the Triune God who will be pleased with our repentance.  When I am tired, fatigued, worked over by work, co-workers, family and friends (so much to do with so little time - come on - we all have those weeks) I find myself being un-guarded.  As I looked at my journal when I got home, I could see the pattern of being ill-prepared in spiritual warfare and falling/failing to daily jaunts of temptation and the like.   Sometimes, when this occurs, my strengths become a double weakness - this was a very good lesson for me to hear this past weekend.

There is so much more to say.  The next few posts will focus on:

• The hidden lion in our lives
• A bored man in my house
• What's your excuse, man up...

Looking forward to hearing from you?  Who else was there?  Let Lance and I know what you want to hear...email me here:

Blessings,

Dante

ACT LIKE MEN (www.actlikemen.com)

Psalm 1:1-6 ESV Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; ...

1 Corinthians 16:13-14 ESV Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

This weekend marks the third and final weekend of ActLikeMen.  With three weekends that spanned from California to Canada and this weekend in the Midwest, all I can say is how encouraged I am as a man of God.  That is, to say, that I am truly confident that some men (likely not all) will turn toward being a disciple of Christ through these weekends.  Why?  Because God has called us to be his disciples.  Why?  Because men will hear that ever so quiet voice calling us to be less for ourselves and more for God.

The ultimate goal of a true disciple of Christ is not to shrink into manhood, but rather to let others see the love of Jesus Christ in us (to see Jesus) and to see less of ourselves.

Psalm 112:1-10 ESV Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever. Light dawns in the darkness for the upright; he is gracious, merciful, and righteous. It is well with the man who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice. ...

Here is the challenge to all of us:  Whether you attended this conference, opened your bible or prayed the prayer of a humble man, can you ask God to reveal his plans to you.  Can you ask him to take control over ALL of your life?  Will you pray Proverbs 3:3-5 in your life, which says, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart.  Lean not on your understand, but acknowledge him in all your ways and he will make your paths straight."

Where you go (Lord) I will go, where you stay (Lord) I will stay.  Where you lead (Lord) I will follow.  Oh praise him he has done a mighty thing for us- by his sacrifice we are saved.  By his love - we are made new.

Hoping to hear from you all! #actlikemen

Blessings,

Dante

My Own Worst Enemy

I was cold, distant and angry.  On the surface, everything seemed fine, you’d get a smile and greeting, but inside my head, I was waging a battle.  Everything appeared wonderful: house, cars, kids, and great career.  Why then did my heart tell me that it was all a waste and I was a complete failure?

This past weekend I turned 37 and once again, I struggled with my own inner demon called Noise (See Ephesians 6:12).  I reflected over the past 15 years of my life.  I’ve spent that time providing for my family, defending my country and rising to the top of my career.  Most people would feel content but my heart and emotions screamed that I had missed my calling.

I’ve made many mistakes in life and most certainly did not take the easiest path.  I’ve overcome educational, financial and marital issues and rose to the top 1% of my career field.  Most of my colleagues love their job and feel complete satisfaction knowing that we are secure in a six-figure income and will always have job opportunities waiting for us.  Despite obtaining the world’s definition of success, my heart felt empty inside and I feel like these accomplishments will ultimately end up in God’s dumpster because God doesn’t care how much money we’ve made or the titles we’ve obtained.  He looks at how we’ve loved others and used our lives to glorify him.

My heart lies in ministry, working with families and making a difference in people's lives.  But my day job is light years from that calling.  I work with 98% atheists and agnostics who are happy and content living in the world’s definition of success and only seeking personal pleasure and gratification.  For me, the Christian anomaly who has a heart for God and true greatness by God’s standards, it feels like I’m stuck here in purgatory for the next 6 years.  I’ve turned down ministry positions in the past and each time, I’ve regretted it.  Each time I wonder if the grass is greener on the other side and my heart would be filled with joy living my calling each day.

Before I continue on my pity party let me stop right here and offer some logical advice that I’ve heard multiple times and my brother Dante reminded me of this past weekend.  The grass is not greener and God uses us wherever we are.  If I’d spent the past 15 years working in ministry, I might be burnt out now.  If I hadn’t chosen the path I did, I would not have the life stories, experiences and trials to share with others and may not have a passion for this ministry at all.

God is shaping us wherever we are in our lives.  Right now, I’m digging ditches and waiting for the time when He calls me to full-time ministry.  I have 6 more years and I can continue to listen to Noise and feel like I'm wasting my life or I can choose to use this time wisely and my current place as a way to minister to others and glorify God.  Maybe I haven’t experienced something yet or God has some more molding to do with me before I am ready?  Whatever it may be, I need to use everyday and every situation as a way to learn, love, grow and reach others.

Will my old friend Noise be back in a few days to once again start playing my emotions and pulling on my heartstrings?  Probably.  But I’ll continue to put on my armor and wage this battle with him because I know that for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7)  While God continues to reveal and  refine the storyline of my life, I can rejoice because I already know the closing scene. The good guys win, Christ returns and at last I will get to bask in his glory and love for the rest of eternity.  Thank You God!

God grant me the serenityto accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things rightif I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this lifeand supremely happy with Himforever in the next. Amen.

How to avoid unwanted temptations in our lives (that which we bring on ourselves)

Saturday morning in men's group I had the privilege to lead and facilitate the discussion. I am very humbled by the growth and sincere faith that I am seeing with so many other men in this special group of Men of Faith.  This morning's topic was on avoiding unwanted sin in our lives.  That is, the temptations that we bring on to ourselves and how we can pave steps to in our lives to navigate around these erroneous ways.  I started the morning out by asking the men around the room to think about words in our lives:  Temptation, lust, pornography, anger, pride, forgiveness, un-forgiveness, Father, Parent, Shame and continued with a few more thoughts along the way.Realizing that the term "parent" or "Father" could be very painful for some, I asked them to think about our Father God and how much he loves us and how much he desire for us to run to him just like the father that we read about in the Prodigal son.  God desires for us to turn and repent and run to him.  He waits for us with open arms and is quick to forget and slow to anger.  For some of us, our earthly parents may have not shown the love of Christ.  For others, they may not remember their parents and for the few fortunate ones who remember loving parents who modeled Christ's love for us - count your blessings!  Come Holy Spirit come into our lives and grow us into the disciples that you want us to be.

There are some really good steps to work on daily in our lives to allow this growth to flourish:Pray continuously throughout the day,  "Matthew 6:13 (ESV) ¹³ And lead us not into temptation,  but deliver us from evil."

Use God's Word daily, "2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (ESV) ⁴ For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. ⁵ We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,"  There is a very good acronym, which is MEALS, which means:  MEMORIZE, EXAMINE, APPLY, LISTEN and STUDY these words daily.  Before you say that you don't have time or it is impossible for you to do so think about all the passwords that you have to remember in our daily jaunts (come on - you can do it).  Make this a habit daily and as your put more of God's word in and less of the world's view in - see what happens in you life.  As one song puts it, "Break my heart for what breaks yours, open up my eyes...."

Know yourself (and your triggers to sin), "James 1:14 (ESV) ¹⁴ But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire."  For some of us this could be lust, it could be anger, it could be pride and it could be fatigue or for some others it could be a cocktail of all of the above.  Avoid these triggers at all costs.  Jesus said that if your eye offends you - pluck it out.  If you hands offends, cut it off.  I think we get the point - AVOID SIN and the Pitfalls of life.  The old saying of "the devil made me do it" is sometime lost when he doesn't even have to push us in the direction of our known weaknesses.  We can pray the armor of God on ourselves daily (Read Galatians 6).

Flee from sin (not walk, not poke around - R U N ! ! !), Verses from www.biblegateway.com on FLEEING.  When Joseph worked for Potiphar in his house and was tempted beyond what most single men could bear, he not only fled from sin, he left garments behind in order to avoid any further temptation.  God's word doesn't tell us to pretend that we have a good hold on temptation - it tells us to RUN (FLEE) don't even entertain temptation in any form (harmless flirting in improper friendships) DON'T DO IT!

Create honest accountability in your life, "James 5:16 (ESV) ¹⁶ Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working".  Let's be honest for one second here.  When you allow true accountability in your life, amazing things happen.  Seriously!  Accountability is only as good as how honest you will be.  That being said, if you hold back anything from your accountability partner(s) then you are cheating yourself and the bond of brothers that can help carry our burdens.  The thing about un-confessed sin is that it has so many repercussions, it separates us from God's holiness, from God's light in our lives and from the blessing(s) that he has planned for us.  Don't mistake my words here.  When we confess Jesus Christ as our Savior, then our sins of the past, present and future have been forgiven, are forgiven and will be forgiven.  Un-confessed sin in our lives puts us in a prison.  When we confess our sins to God and to our brothers - then we bring them into the light and then we feel God's love and mercy and we are free.  We are in the light!

Be Encouraged not discouraged, "1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV) ¹³ No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." Proverbs 3:5-6, "(ESV) ⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart,     and do not lean on your own understanding. ⁶ In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."  No matter how far we have come in our spiritual growth and sanctification we have to be honest and believe that we have setbacks and continuous sin in our lives.  It is in us, that is, our old self (sin nature) versus our new selves and identity in Christ.  When we do fall, we do sin, we do mess up, do not be discouraged.  Confess and repent for our God is merciful.

Confess and Repent (turn from sin), "1 John 1:9 (ESV) ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

What are some of your thoughts?

Blessings,

Dante

Are You All In?

While taking my daughter to school, I caught a morning radio show in which the hosts were talking about a recent news story of a wife who had a hidden savings account with over $800,000 in it.  The issue was that she never told her husband about it.

What was further disconcerting was that most of the female co-hosts and many of women who called in thought this was not only acceptable but smart practice.  When it comes to marriage, are we holding back or are we all in?

Don't get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with separate checking/saving/investing accounts and some of these women inherited money which is why it was separate in the first place.  But the overall tone of this piece was that we should hide things from our spouse to protect us "just in case."  Plus, many of the married women agreed with this idea that they needed a secret escape clause and money in case things did not work out.  Now, this could be done by both men and women, it was simply women used in this particular show.

The host tried to illustrate the point that it was not about the money but the fact that the women were keeping secrets from their spouse thus creating division and possibly mistrust in the marriage.  To this the women said that due to the current divorce rates,  they needed to not show all their cards and keep things from their husbands just in case things didn't work out.

In my opinion, this is one of the fundamental problems with societal attitudes toward marriage.  I look at my own marriage as a "burn the ships" and go "all in" type of arrangement between my wife, me and God.  There is no holding back or an escape clause because human fallibility will naturally use that as an excuse.  It's like going into a plan and expecting to fail, you will naturally hold back.  Instead, I see my role and the health of my marriage as a "succeed at all costs" arrangement and therefore have no fall back plan.  I have to give all of myself and accept the risk of being hurt, that's true intimacy.

The attitudes displayed in this radio show were not "til death do us part" but more like "til something better comes along" or things don't work out.  Maybe I'm just crazy or old fashion but I cannot understand this thought process when it comes to marriage.  You are basically setting yourself up for mistrust, suspicions and intimacy issues with your spouse.

Maybe the basic problem is that the secular culture sees marriage as a business contract and not holy matrimony?

I appreciate your thoughts and opinions?

Teach me your way, O Lord

Psalm 86:11-12

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹¹ Teach me your way, O Lord,     that I may walk in your truth;     unite my heart to fear your name. ¹² I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,     and I will glorify your name forever.