Your true identity

The past several weeks, my pastors have been focusing on true Christianity through love of others (based on 1 Corinthians 13).  Today was the final week and there was a lot of focus on how we show this love to our neighbor to our family and to our friends.  If we do not have love, then what is there to show for.  In my previous post about Identity, I talked about the problem of trying to love the body of Christ (The Church) when we cannot love our self.  The problem that we have in the body is our own identity crisis.  We are a new creation:  Ephesians 1:4-5 " For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-."  Colossians 2:13-14  "  When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross."  Colossians 3:12  "  Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." So what are we to do?  For we are all broken and sinful and continue to battle against are old flesh and against powers and principalities that desire to destroy us.  We try to do things are own way.  We hold back forgiveness.  We fail to love when Christ loved us first.  I would love to be able to tell you that I can resist all of these previous statements and that I am a mature Christian lacking none, however, I cannot.  You can ask my wife and my kids and my closest friends and accountability partners and they will all tell you that I fail regularly.  There are sometimes small victories and some good days (more like moments and minutes) that I do show signs of hope (Jesus's love shining through) but I have to admit that I get tired, selfish, hungry and angry.  I do sin every day contrary to my desire - so what hope do we have?

Our hope is not in our flesh, but in Christ Jesus.  He bore the sins of the world and took them all to the Cross.  In our sins and iniquity Christ bore all and conquered death.  For those who confess his name and bear his fruit, the Kingdom of Heaven is ours to claim.  There is no power or person that can take us away (snatch us) from the love of the Father.  We are a new creation who are called sons and daughters of God.  Galatians 3:26-27  "  You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ."

Hear are some action steps for us to take:

1) Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the center of the page  (On the left side write down this list:  Galatians 5:19-21 The Message (MSG) ^19-21 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on. This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.).  NOW on the right side of the page, write down this list:  Galatians 5:22-26 The Message (MSG) ^22-23 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. ^23-24 Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified. ^25-26 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.".  Once you have done this, then check all those that apply to you and your life (your walk).  If you line up more with the left (the sinful nature - repent) if, you line up with the right, then continue to trust and obey and use your gifts to show those around you less of you and more of Jesus.

2) Get involved in a bible study (in a men or women's bible study).  Find accountability partners (those who you can be completely and bitterly honest too without being judged).  Look for mentors and look for mentees if you are bearing fruit of the Spirit.

3) Pray - continually (throughout the day)

4) Love (love others, love co-workers, love lost ones love family and love your neighbor as yourself (BUT first love yourself as a son and or daughter of God).

5)  What are some of your thoughts and ideas?

Let me know,

Dante

Identity Crisis

Recently, I had the privelege to teach our high school students in our youth group ministry.  I was asked to teach on the subject (question) of why do we need the church.  The youth Pastor played a poignant video prior to my speaking that was an interview of various students that had said why the church was irrelevant and why they were turned off by church.  The video, in my opinion, raised some really good and unfortunate honest opinions on some church members that are misguided in their relational ministries (note:  my opinion).  That being said, I began with a game (candy being the prize) and went right into various Scriptures:  1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12:5, Hebrews 10:24-25 and so on.Before this speaking engagement, I was going over my notes and timing myself for the youth pastor and scheduling.  As I was praying and reflecting I was struck by the fact that we are called (as the body of Christ) to love one another.  The thing that really struck my core is that some of us have an identity crisis, that is, that we do not love ourselves so how can we be expected to love others (encourage, comfort and urge)?  Thus, the identity crisis,  which is why my opinion is why we have problems of loving one another (because some of us cannot love ourselves).  I do not want you to take this as narcissistic or put "myself" before God's Kingdom, actually, quite the contrary.

Here is my position, we are no longer are "old-self".  We, those who profess Jesus Christ, are a new creation.  Thereby, we are now sons and daughters of God.  When we realize this fact, then we can have  a healthy identity of who we are and then we can allow the Holy Spirit to grow us into who He wants and not what we once were.  2 Corinthians 5:17  (ESV) ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.^[a]The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."  God has intended for his church to be his bride.  God has plans for us, plans to be his disciples.  He gave us the Church so that even the gates of hell could not prevail against it.  If the body is acting in the way that Jesus intended, then that is a very beautiful thing to behold and to be part of.  It is a very powerful force driven by the Holy Spirit.  Did you catch that, we are no longer ourselves (in our pain and anguish of our old sinful self) - we are now his Sons and Daughters.  We are engrafted into his family because of the love of the Father!

When the body is working together for the purposes of God's Kingdom (reaching the disconnected and growing the connected) it is such a thing of beauty.  It is powerful and it is effective in preaching and teaching God's love story - He came down, he bore our sin to death on a cross, he rose again and he now sits at the right hand of God.  Why? Because he loves us.  He loves his bride.  Why do we need community?  Why do we always ask our parents (when we were young) why?  Because they really do know better when they are showing Agape love.  As a Christian (a Christ-follower, a disciple of Christ) we can be rest-assured that Jesus loves us, that he died for us and that because of his work on the cross, we are FORGIVEN of past, present and future sins - IT IS FINISHED.  Jesus said that for a reason.  He knew that he was faithful and obedient to his Father's will.  Jesus called us to do the same for Him.  To be his disciple means more than just being a pew sitter, it means for us to move from pew sitter to heavy hitter!  Jesus gave us the Church, so we can have community with the Saints to help us carry our burdens to do His will!

Any questions?  Please let us know!

Dante

Do You Have Awesome Faith?

I'm finishing up leading a 5 week study with my churches youth group on Apologetics.  The first 4 weeks have been on dealing with questions like "Why Is There Suffering In The World"  "Can Science and Faith Co-Exist" and "Why Is Jesus The Only Way."  Most of these talks have been on truth, evidence and the logic behind what we believe as Christ followers.In the final session we are dealing with the topic of what faith really is?  

For years I was told faith and spiritual maturity was gaining more spiritual knowledge, understanding scripture and knowing my beliefs. I thought that the more certain I was about scripture, the closer I was growing to God.  Many followers need this constant study as a security blanket for their faith, I know this helps me stay on track.

But what happens when we experience life circumstances that do not line up with our beliefs?

When a faithful woman prays for years for a child only to have miscarriage after miscarriage.

God is good but why do massacres like Sandy Hook Elementary happen?  Why did innocent children need to be killed?

When you faithfully tithe for years and give to your church only to be furloughed or lose your job?

Yes, we live in a fallen world and sin is real.

But what do we do when these types of circumstances and life experiences defy our scriptural logic and faith?

What do you say to the great husband and father who spent years volunteering at church and giving his life to Christ only to have his wife die of cancer?

I believe that true faith and spiritual maturity happen when our faith answers Yes even when we don't have an understanding of what God is doing in our lives.  In the New Testament, Paul had every reason to doubt God.  He spent years being faithful, preaching and becoming one of the most prolific evangelists for Christ only to be rewarded with persecution, shipwrecks, beatings and imprisonment.  Just as many of the early Christians were martyred for their faith.

What do we do when circumstances say one thing and God's character say's another?

Maybe it's because we try to interpret God's character through our life circumstances and experiences and then try to fit our faith into that conceptual box.  When we should be interpreting our lives through God's character and having unconditionally faith that God has a plan?

When Paul was imprisoned and writing to Timothy, he didn't talk about WHAT he believed - a system or theology of rules to measure the truth.  He didn't have bulletproof, irrefutable evidence before he trusted God.  Paul walked by Faith not by sight.

Paul didn't say I know what I believe.  Paul said I know WHO I believe.  I know who HE is. 

Awesome Faith and Spiritual Maturity is not greater understanding of the word and our beliefs but unashamed confidence and trust in God regardless of our life circumstances.  This faith is shown through a unquenchable love, grace and empathy towards everyone and lived out in our daily lives and actions.

If you have to know everything and have all your questions answered before you trust in the Lord, we will never have this type of awesome faith.  We just have to start, step forward and trust in His plan.  Trust that God has the wheel.  That's easy to write but hard to live.

Sadly and authentically, I admit that I struggle with this issue myself.  Circumstances come up in life where I wish I could just forget about my fears, my finances and my doubts and just walk forward in crazy, awesome faith.  It's easy to surrender all the bad areas of our lives to Christ and become renewed but what happens when we're asked to surrender our lives in areas that are going really well: our careers, our financial security or our retirement plans?

What happens when we plan, commit and move in one direction only for God to pull at our hearts and lead us in another?

Maybe this makes sense or maybe it's just me rambling over yet another triple mocha?

I've met some people with this Awesome Faith and I wish I had it.

If you have any ideas or stories, I'd love to hear them.

- Lance

How to be a man, Part 1

This blog, www.legacydad.com,  talks a lot about manly things, dad things and building our relationship with God in order to be the man that he wants us to be.  Lance and Gary have talked in great length about their journeys (road maps) and right to passage for their kids/grandkids.  As the merchant in this group of three (one already home and two homeward bound) I have sat back and watched their progression and slowly ebbing and flowing what that will look like for my son.  I have a great dad.  A dad who taught me that a man needs to have his integrity and honor and to do what he says he is going to do.  He has taught me the value of being and living debt free.  I have not always heeded that advice, as you have read in several previous posts, but I can tell you the older that I get the more I treasure what he has instilled in me. The world (Culture) tells us their definition of what it takes to be a man.  How to be a man and the pleasures that we can have by pursuing this manly stuff.  The wisest man in the world said that without God this is all vanity.  Lance had asked our readers some things that they wanted to hear from us and the question arose on how to be man.  An excellent question if I do say so myself.  There are three things that we need to concentrate on and I will address them all here shortly, but first, I want to match some things up with Scripture.  First off, turn to John 12:26, (ESV) “26 If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”  Jesus was asked by religious leaders of their time what was the greatest commandments.   Without missing a step he said the first is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, body, soul and strength.  And the second was to love your neighbor as yourself.  All other commandments hang on these two.  Did you catch it?  As a man we not only have to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, we have to center our lives in him.  Secondly, we have to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Here is a list of traits that we think a godly man exudes: Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, Citizenship, Courage, Perseverance, Loyalty, Duty, Self Service, Honor, Integrity, Grace, Justice, Humility, Mercy and Discipline.  This is a life-long process and even the best men do not always get each of these cylinders going at the same time.  However, you will note that a godly man has a humility like no other.  A spiritual maturity that can only be explained by God’s redemptive love for us.  Some can argue that these traits are inherited while others say that they are taught and others say that they can be learned.  I like to think (and believe) that when we align ourselves with God and his will, then he gives to those who love him.  In the Book of James we are told to ask for wisdom.  If we don’t have an earthly father figure (or a father that was never around or let alone a good example) then we have confidence that we have a heavenly father that loves us so much that He sent HIS ONLY son to die for us.

Here is a self-examination to see where you are at on the road to how to be a man:

1)      Know that God has made each one of us our own way.  Each one of us are fearfully and wonderfully made.  For instance, Gary rightly coined us three:  The Cowboy, The Warrior and the Merchant.  We are all different but we share the same passions.  We love, we learn, we grow and we are comfortable in our own skin.  We have to know our self.  We have to be content with who we are and where God has put us.  That doesn’t mean that we cannot strive to be better, we just have to be content with each day God has given us.  We have to respect ourselves as men.

2)      We have to know right from wrong.  C.S. Lewis has excellent books on this (read them all to find out what I mean).   We, as humans, have this inherent code of right and wrong.  If you are fortunate enough to have kids you can see that as early as of two years of age the child knows right from wrong even if they don’t know how to convey the wrong – they know.  WE have to be able to admit when we are wrong (to our neighbor), we have to confess our sins and trespasses to our God the Father.  We have to admit to those we love when we are wrong.  We have to be able to expressly state that we were wrong, that we can say “I’m Sorry” and be able to express why we are sorry.

3)      What we put in is what we get out.  This is true in mind, body and spirit.  We have to make sure that we are in God’s word daily.  We have to pray continuously.  We have to repent from sin.  To repent means to turn away from and to avoid doing it again.  That being said, many of us think that we can serve two masters, that is, that we think we can have destructive sin in our lives and yet be in fellowship with a Holy God.  That is not possible.  We have to humble ourselves.  We have to breathe in the grace of God and walk out our salvation with fear in trembling.  Knowing that we can never earn our way to heaven, we then can confidently except this amazing gift of love and after accepting this incredible gift we can find that our faith is alive in both works and deeds to give thanks for this incredible gift of love. 

4)      Has True Grit –my dad always quotes Shakespeare to me, “not a lender or borrower thee be, pay thy debts or it dulls the edge of husbandry.”  To me, this was more than just about lending money.  With my dad it meant so much more:  Character, Integrity, and so on.  We have to be willing to be the stewards that God wants us to be.  The stewards of His Time, His Treasure and His Talent.  These are all things that God, the most high, has given us.   The best way to describe integrity to you is to say how we act when no one else is around and whether or not we make the right choice.  Job puts it best in chap 29 (Read Job 29 here).

5)      Memorize and lives Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight.

6)      Have a Kingdom Purpose – It is not about us, it is about God.  The sooner that we learn that the freer we are to make a difference in the short time that God has given us.  To love our neighbor, our wives, our children and so on.  To give without expecting anything in return.  To serve as a servant leader.

7)      Know your purpose – why are we here.  What am I good at?  Where can I serve best?  What has God made me to do? 

8)      Walk with other men – no one should do this alone.  That is not God’s plan.  He wants us in community.  He is the Trinity:  God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.  He knows community and he knows what we need.

9)      Take care of your vessels (body) – eat healthy, sleep healthy and make the right physical choices (exercise, diet, healthy choices).

10)   When in doubt of how to be a man pray – more to follow

Psalm 112:1-10 (ESV) The Righteous Will Never Be Moved

112 [a] Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,     who greatly delights in his commandments! 2 His offspring will be mighty in the land;     the generation of the upright will be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in his house,

    and his righteousness endures forever. 4 Light dawns in the darkness for the upright;     he is gracious, merciful, and righteous. 5 It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;     who conducts his affairs with justice.

6 For the righteous will never be moved;     he will be remembered forever. 7 He is not afraid of bad news;     his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. 8 His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,     until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.

9 He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor;     his righteousness endures forever;     his horn is exalted in honor. 10 The wicked man sees it and is angry;     he gnashes his teeth and melts away;     the desire of the wicked will perish!

In order for us to move from Part 1 to Part 2 – let’s take another self test (please read Psalms 139).

More to follow on this awesome question:  How to be a man.

Thanks for the challenge!

Please give me your thoughts,

Dante

3 Reasons I’m Scared to Trust God

Imagine your dream job.  Your deepest passion.  That one thing that you would do whether you got paid or not.  The passion that would get you up at 5:00AM and keep you awake at night, full of excitement and energy.  You feel completely happy and on purpose when doing and living this dream.Now imagine God started opening doors in your life and mentors and friends started supporting you to follow this dream.

Would you have the courage to trust God’s calling and follow it?

Would you be willing to quit your job, take a lower salary or give up your family’s financial security to answer this call?

This is situation I find myself in and I’m scared to death.

Legacy Dad has always been a hobby, a side project, something to tackle full-time when I’m retired. One of those “Someday” goals.  I’ve never been serious about it.   But lately some doors opened, there’s some writing on the wall, influential people have come into my life and opportunities have been mentioned that could potentially lead me to take this thing seriously, take it to the next level and really start helping and impacting family’s everywhere.

And I’m doing everything to hold this back, put on the brakes and let my lack of faith control my life.

Reason 1:  Fear (Noise)

I would love to work full-time helping families, speaking, writing, coaching men, mentoring youth and doing work that really matters for the glory of God and his kingdom.  But the second I have those thoughts, fear and noise tell me all the logical reasons why this is not possible.

1. You’ve spent the last 15 years climbing the ladder to a healthy salary and position in your day job.  Are you going to walk away from that?
2. How would you support your family?
3. What if no one listens to you?  What if you fail?
4. You don’t have the experience, education, background, connections to make this happen?

Reason 2:  What If This Is Lance’s Plan not God’s?

This reason tells me that maybe I’m being ambitious or arrogant.  Is this what God wants or what Lance wants?

I wish God and I could meet up at Starbucks each Friday, have a triple tall, soy mocha and mastermind on my life.  We could laugh and dream and listen to Mumford and Sons playing on the sound system.  Then God would end the meeting by saying “Okay Lance, here’s what I really want you to do and here’s your 5 action steps to take over the next 90 days.  Don’t worry, it’s my plan, it will work.”

Reason 3:  Doubt

I don’t doubt God but I do doubt myself.  The voices in my head tell me that I’m not qualified, I’m too young, I don’t have enough experience, etc.  Everyone hears these voices right or maybe I need a psych consult?

I do have some ideas and solutions for these problems, but I’d love to hear from you instead?

How would you handle this situation?

Have you been in this situation?

Why do we doubt God?

Thoughts?

Lance

What Not To Say To Your Wife

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpFD-kgQxnI]

Right here waiting....so what can we do in the meantime?

If you are honest, then you can admit things like I can, that is, sometimes if I am really honest, I have to admit that I have a hard time waiting.  I am not saying that I am an impatient man (I have 3 kids under 10 - God has given me patience).  What I mean is that sometimes we have the outcome that we have in mind and not the outcome that God has in store for us.  Sometimes along that path of waiting, we find ourselves in trials and tribulations and for others we find ourselves in sin.  In some cases,  it can be a combination of both those situations.  Isaiah 40:31  (ESV) "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."  Do you remember the restaurants that they used to have around the Midwest called "Jack in the box"?   Sometimes I feel like those of us called Christians (more so  who are Christ-Followers) would like to have a "God in the Box", that is, at our disposal not His.  I think a lot of times I find myself trying to take control of situations in my life that God already had (has and will forever handle) if I would just let go and let God.   I can personally tell you from some very stressful situations that I have caused more pain and frustration in my life by not waiting on the Lord and as a result of my inability of not waiting on the Lord, I have to face those consequences that I didn't need to face had I waited for God.

Proverbs 3:5-6  (ESV) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."  That Scripture is pretty clear and simple when you think about it.  Do we trust God in everything in our lives?  Really?  Does He have control over our finances?  Does he get our first fruits (tithing)?  When we sin, are we hard hearted and stiffed necked people or do we repent and ask for His forgiveness?  How do we overcome issues at work?  At Home? With our children? With our parents?  Do we let go and let God?

Wherever we are at in our walks it is never to let to start.  The first place that I recommend that we begin in in His Word (read it every day - no excuses) and by prayer and petition and in small groups (true biblical accountability) and preaching and teaching from our leaders and also with community.   The two pictures above are pictures that I really like because they are real pictures of God's faithfulness in our lives.  One of these two men goes to our church and is in our Men of Faith (Men's Bible Study) and the other gets it - where it all comes from and from whom all blessing flow.

The tattoo work on the left is a great story.  I am not going to tell you whether this man has come to know Christ as his personal savior or not (that is between him and God).  But what I can tell you is that the more that I get to know this man, the more that I am convinced that God calls us!  That God has a plan for each and everyone of us.  And that if we are truly to be disciples of Jesus then we have to let go and let God.

Thoughts?Dante

Goodbye Dear Friend - Godspeed

It is with a heavy heart and tearful eye that I report to everyone that our dear friend, saddle-mate and fellow Legacy Dad - Gary Taylor - went home to be with our Lord last night at 6:45 PM.  Gary was a remarkable man, father, husband and grand-father.  Gary lived his life for the Lord and embodied the true spirit of a Legacy Dad.  As Stevenson wrote "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same"  - Gary left a lot of footprints on many hearts.       The following email was sent from Gary's son.

"I write this with joy as my best friend, comrade and saddlemate has finally stepped into "full inheritance" Ephesians 1:14.  Gary passed into the arms of Jesus this evening at 6:45pm. His final breath was in total peace as he tilted his head up and looked at his wife one last time." 

We are envious of you Gary, as you now get to spend your days with God in Heaven basking in all His glory.  I'm sure the first words he spoke to you were - Well done good and faithful servant. You have fought the good fight, You have finished the race, You have kept the faith.

R.I.P. Brother - Your Legacy Will Live On Forever - Your Brothers Lance and Dante

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies growIn Flanders fields.