Trials and Tribulations

AsI write this entry, I have just returned from a four night business conferenceand had the pleasure in being able to take my wife.  What I find interesting is when you aretrying to take that step and walk by faith where the littlest things (things =attacks and trials) come from.  I willnot bore you with the details, but I can honestly say that I am not surprisedby the circumstance.  Here is the thing,when we are attacked we cannot control the situation, but we can decide on howwe are going to respond to that attack. The Book James put is like this:  “James1:2-4 (New International Version)  “2Considerit pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because youknow that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance mustfinish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  I like the saying that says we cannot controlour days or what happens every hour, but we can make a cognitive decision abouthow we let our attitudes dictate the course of our action.  For instance, I was blindsided today by someonewho I would never have guessed could give into rage and/or lack hospitality,but nothing will surprise me anymore given today’s course of events.  I could have chosen to respond in a verynegative way, or I can take the words of James and put things into the biggerpicture. 

Hereis the thing, we are going to make mistakes, it is not the sin nor the mistakeswe make that marks the type of Christian we are.  Rather, it is the course of action andattitude that we chart our path through the course.  I could have chosen the path that leads toanger, which leads to rage, which would be followed up by more sin, or I canchoose to weigh my response and to consider it pure joy when trials andtribulations come my way.  I thank Godthat He is patient with a sinner like me and that He gives me mercy and graceto not only say that I am forgiven, but to also say that I am a child ofGod.  I am royalty and I need to acceptthat things are this earth will come and pass us by, but we should be trainingfor the long race ahead and be asking ourselves, “how do you plan on finishingthis race.  The Christian race whereothers in your paths will ask you where your hope comes from and how your lifeis different from theirs? 

Nomatter what curveball life throws at you, next time take a step back andreflect (say a little prayer) and ask God to guide you through His Holy Spiritand to make your path straight and your footsteps sound.  To God be the glory, forever and ever,amen!!!

Mercy Me, Daddy please

All right dads, this one is for you.  My son and I have been having an interesting week now that Spring is finally in the air.  Between videos, walks outside, the park and pancakes for breakfast we have both learned a valuable lesson in Mercy this week.  I would like to preempt this story by the fact that my son has been very trying on my wife and has been a little on the "testing his boundaries" week.  Anyway, two nights ago I was putting him to bed and he lost his privilege of a bedtime story, which was also going to include a final video on the computer from You tube (Veggie Tales - Jonah).    

My wife and I firmly believe in rearing the children and we also believe in spankings, however, we don't always believe that spankings are necessary as kids can sometimes get the point a lot quicker when you either remove them from a situation or you remove something they want from their situation.  In this case, he was tired and very distraught and instead of spanking him, I leaned on the premise of taking away his privilege (not a right) to the bedtime story and video the next night.  As I was putting him to bed we knelt down and said our prayers and we talked about what he did wrong and why he was being punished.  He understood and even though he wasn't completely happy with the situation, he accepted the terms willingly.  

Here is the point of the night that I want to resonate with all of you.  I asked my son the following question about God's Mercy.  I asked him what is God's Mercy.  To my surprise, he said, "A second chance."  I asked him to explain that to me and he said in his own kind of way that when we mess up God still gives us a second chance.  It was at this point that I felt moved with compassion and I said to him quietly in his ear, "Son, because God loves us so much, he gave us his son Jesus and had mercy on us even when we didn't deserve a second chance."  God had compassion on us and gave us his son Jesus to save us so we could be with him in Heaven.  At this point of the night, I also said, "because of God's Mercy, I am going to show you mercy and let you watch the rest of Veggie Tales with your sisters tomorrow night before bed (we were finishing the last part of the 1hr22minute video).  

The next night as we watched Veggie Tales Jonah, the part of that movie talked about God's Mercy and compassion for his children.  I looked at my son and whispered to him, do you see how God's Mercy works all the time?  He smiled and said to me, "Yes daddy."

Even in our worst of days, God still loves us.  I think he gives us children (sometimes our own, sometimes others that we mentor, teach in kids programs at church, etc.,) in order to teach us what true love really means and to also give us (parents, teachers and mentors) the gift of Mercy and Compassion.

With this, I said to him last night as I tucked him in bed, "God is good" and he said, "All the time," and I said, "God is good.

To God be the Glory, forever and ever, Amen!

The "CALL"...Save the world or "Train them up?"

It popped back off the screen at me as I responded to a woman’s comment of my web site.  She was from my wife’s Sunday school class some 50 years ago and had agreed to critique my web site.  She liked the site.  It was inspirational, actually.  But it saddened her.  Her husband, now a grandfather, did not apply his many gifts to being a father.  Often didn’t seem interested.  In fact, she said, sadly, she would not have been able to get her husband to read such a book. “It’s a guy thing, I guess,” said she, remorsefull.

I’d like to share my response.   Please consider the last line.  I have too many such stories from close friends in ministry and missions.  If you know of the Bob Pierce syndrome, that’s what we’re talking about.   Save the world, lose the child…forever.

“My great fear is that your husband is like more of the husbands out there than not. No, it's not a guy thing. Hoping this won’t seem intrusive and rude,  I am seeing this (I've been there) as disobedience to biblical standards. Lots of guys, otherwise called fathers some of the time, spend their days earning a living for their families, sometimes providing more than is necessary.  On top of that, we men are prone to fulfill our drive toward significance, but too often at the cost of our families. Believe me, it happens as much, maybe more, in men saving the world in the name of Jesus.”

So, as legacy dads your intuition whispers assurance that you are not like that at all.  Once again, and this comes from personal unpleasant exposure to friends in ministry:  those with a drive to do God’s will at any price are too often the ones who include their children on the price tag. 

It would take us hours and pages to invade the scriptures to support either side of this issue—follow “the call” or “train up the children in the way they should go.”  Sure, you CAN do both.  But on which side do you compromise when real life demands it?  

My next best friend, college classmate and football team mate, founder of one of the great mission agencies of today, got nudged from top spot by my son-in-law—a great story we talk about in our co-authoring site and book.  He “lost” two of his three sons to saving the Muslim world; they are proud, highly educated, angry pagans today.  One or the other?  No, but choices must be made—daily along the way to significance for the Kingdom and significance to the legacy.   

Is it possible your “call,” Legacy Dad,  is the only one God can’t find someone else to fulfill…being the father your sons and daughters joyfully emulate as they walk with God down life’s rugged road and even more joyfully repeat for their children, generation after generation?

Gary

www.generationalfathering.com

Who is your brother?

Hate or Love

1 John 2:9Anyone who claimsto be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. 10Whoeverloves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him[c] to makehim stumble. 11But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walksaround in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because thedarkness has blinded him.”

Does this mean if someonedoesn’t like me that they hate me?  Whatif someone continually attacks me and/or my character? How about this, ifsomeone continues to be a thorn in your side? What about if you find yourself under spiritual attack and you try andidentify that attack to a person?  Doesthis give me a right to hate my brother? Absolutely not, if I am under trial or tribulation, which could be froma co-worker (or a brother in the church) should I automatically assume that theproblem lies with them and not with me? 

How can we tell who is right or wrong?  Imean, seriously, if I am a ministry leader shouldn’t I always be right?  If I am reading the word of God everyday andpraying often, doesn’t that mean that the other person must be wrong?  Do you hate your brother?  Let me be specific, is there someone in yourchurch, mini church, neighborhood or workplace that is causing you tostumble?  That is causing you to hatethem?  Can you justify thatposition?  If so, then re-read 1 John2:9-11, and then re-ask the question. Seriously, Galatians 6 tells us that we should test ourselves and onlyourselves.  The Book of James tells usthat through trial and tribulation we build perseverance and through perseverancewe build maturity.  Spiritual Maturity,we find in Hebrews 5 & 6, gives us the ability to immediately discern goodfrom evil. 

So where should you go tofind out who is right and wrong:  1)Scripture  2) Prayer 3) Leaders in yourchurch 4) Accountability Partners (which may include your wives if you are married)  and 5) Galatians 5 – that is, are you bearingfruit of the Spirit or Fruit of the Sinful Nature.   Scripture is very clear between the two.  You cannot possibly be walking in the lightif you are bearing fruit from both.   

So now what?  Do you hate your brother?  Do you hate your sister?  Are these questions penetrating to thesoul?  If so, repent, ask God to directyou in the right course and pray for forgiveness. 

And remember, God is good allthe time.  All the time God is good.

My Grandfather, Pancho Villa

Thanks, Lance, for the introduction.  My heart, my passion is fathering, being a life-long legacy dad.  It never quits, fellas, even when they make the 18th year.  They're still yours, still your greatest assignment--ever!  Boys and girls, yours, will be men and women in the chaotic future they'll face even after we're gone.  Your legacy is your impact through them to your community, your nation, the world, mankind.

So, no, you don't retire your fathering when they leave the nest (or you wish they would), when they marry and have children.  Legacy, Dad?  You'd better give it your all or you will have tears, not hear cheers when you approach The Gates and your imprint is measured for its true worth.

Stories pour from our lives as we move on down the road.  May you be centered in His Story written precisely for you.  May those vignettes of life, the pages you live in His Story, be from your renewed heart and indelible.  Here's a fresh one a few days old.

I subbed for 3rd grade yesterday. My favorite grade; cowboys are still heroes.Short of a full day's lesson plan, I reverted to the standby, an essay. "MyGrandfather"; "Write anything you want. If you don't have one, tell us yourdream grandpa."  Then they read them. Touching. And I learned about all sorts ofgrand fathers. All but one, including two fictional ones, were cool and loved.Because most of their families still speak Spanish, we heard of a lot of oldworld (Mexico) cowboys.

I learned as much from their faces as I did from their stories. Asthey read, it showed me again that grandpa, popi, grand dad and papa are namesheld precious to them. One lad talked with clear pride about his "grandfather"Pancho Villa. A few questions affirmed the lineage but we upgraded Pancho toG,G,G,grand father.  Do we, do they, care about our roots?  We revere thosemysterious heroes from our history that offer us strength.  To some a bandit, toothers a hero; it doesn't matter much to Pancho Villa's GGGgs.  What does matteris he has a history.  And Pancho Villa has generations that honor his name.

How better to be reminded of the significance of father and the grandfathers they'll become?..."From the mouths of babes."

Generational Fathering

Time is fun when your having flies :)

For those who haven't noticed, I have not been posting on Legacy Dad lately.  My day job of saving the world is keeping me really tied up these days.  However, Dante has been keeping a steady flow of posts to keep the site afloat and if you haven't noticed, we added a newcomer Gary to the mix. 

Gary is an amazing man with many years of wisdom and experience and I invite you to not only check out his bio but also check out his website.  Here is just a snippet of Gary's resume:

Despite the visit to 69 nations, then starting businesses andinternational ministries, literally betting and losing the ranch, Navyfighter pilot and air combat retiring as a Captain (06), a crashedplane and a crashed sailboat (thanks to pirates), riding the wild weston horseback, building a Pondarosa-like dream ranch and--especially--handbuilding a wilderness log cabin with my grandwonderkids, a son too soondead of Cancer at 33, a best-friend son-in-law I love and a daughter ofgrace and beauty with three cowboys and two cowgirls princesses for meto imprint.

Stay tuned to Legacy Dad for more from Gary and check out his websites here:

http://www.generationalfathering.com/

www.newseason.us

Men & Stress - Life's way of Biblical Application

MEN & STRESS

If you Google the topic, “Men & Stress” you will find anarticle that has a list of ways that men can relieve stress and maintain ahealthy life.  I was reading this andfound in very interesting when I took the same bullet points and apply it tomen striving to walk by Faith.  Here iswhat I came up with the words that stated “stress” have now been replaced bythe word “Sin”.  Please see below:

· Maintain a healthy diet . Yourbody will not be able to handle SIN and will be more susceptible to thenegative effects of SIN-if you're malnourished. You should eat regularly andchoose foods that have important health benefits: fruits and vegetables thatare rich in vitamins; whole grains that provide your body with complexcarbohydrates and fiber; and lean meats and low-fat dairy for good sources ofprotein to keep your muscles strong.  BIBLICAL APPLICATION:  Read the Bible Daily.  Eat it, memorize it and apply it to youreveryday life.

·  Exercise  regularly. Ifit seems like men suffer from more SIN today than they did generations ago,it's probably true. When hard work in the form of physical labor was part of aman's daily routine, he was able to relieve any SIN  by sweating it out. When the body works hardduring exercise, it produces the same physical effects as if it were"fighting" an imposing stressor. Because so many men today lead suchsedentary lives, SIN can build up and take its toll on our health. Be sure toget 30 minutes of aerobic exercise on most if not all days of the week, andpractice some form of strength training on at least two nonconsecutive days.  BIBLICAL APPLICATION:  PrayContinually.  The more you exercise inprayer the less likely you are to fall into greater temptation and the benefitsof prayer are endless.

·  Limit or avoid caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. Stimulants like caffeine and nicotine cause your heart rateto increase and, as a result, make SIN worse. All three-caffeine, nicotine andalcohol-can disrupt sleep, which is important in helping the body resist SIN.Most men need between seven and eight hours of sleep each night to be fullyrested. Smoking and other tobacco products also increase your risk of heartdisease and some types of cancer.  BIBLICAL APPLICATION:  Read Galatians Chapter 5 and avoid sexualimmorality and the ways of the Sinful Nature

·  Don't use recreational drugs. Drugs like cocaine and amphetamines, as well as someover-the-counter drugs like cold medicines and decongestants, can lead tosymptoms of anxiety due to side effects or withdrawal from the drug. Drugaddictions can also put a strain on the relationships in your life, which canlead to prolonged SIN.  BIBLICALAPPLICATION:  Don’t use drugs and avoidtemptations- the Bible is clear when you encounter temptation and sin – IT SAYSFLEE.

·  Prioritize. If you're like most men,your life is busy. Learn how to prioritize all that you have to do. Havereasonable expectations and set achievable goals and deadlines. It's notreasonable to think that you can do everything for everybody. BIBLICAL APPLICATION:  Not much to change here – this is spot on togodless chatter (and idle time)

·  Unplug. We live in an agewhere we are always accessible-e-mail, cell phones, Blackberries. Remember thatthese devices are intended to help us, not trap us. Sometimes it's okay to notanswer the phone or wait to respond to an e-mail. If you're feeling overwhelmed,unplug and set aside an hour or two each day to return phone calls and answere-mails. BIBLICALAPPLICATION:  We all need quiet time tospend with our Father in Heaven.  Prayand meditate and yield to the Holy Spirit’s guidance in our daily lives.

·  Stay connected. Seemscontradictory to the previous recommendation, but it's not. Staying connectedmeans keeping in touch with the people who make up your support network:family, friends, neighbors-anyone who serves as a confidant or makes you feelrelaxed and happy. When life gets hectic, it's easy to let these relationshipsgo unattended. Avoid this pitfall by setting up regular time to be with yourfamily and go out with friends.  BIBLICAL APPLICATION:  We all need community and we should all helpcarry each other’s burdens.

·  Develop hobbies. Think of hobbiesas entertaining (and safe) distractions. Play golf, go fishing, join a bookclub, work on cars, go hiking, take up gardening-find an activity that you likedoing and stick with it.  BIBLICAL APPLICATION:  Find a mentor (an Elijah) and also find amentee (a Timothy)…This is called discipleship.

·  Think positive. As cliché as itmay sound, maintaining a positive outlook can help reduce stress. Try to stopnegative thoughts before they get out of control.  BIBLICAL APPLICATION:  If God isfor us, then who can be against us. Purify your hearts and repent of unrepentant sin.

·  Practice relaxation techniques. Thereare many different relaxation techniques you can do to reduce SIN. Some includemeditation, guided imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing…  BIBLICAL APPLICATION:  Read theBible, Pray Continually throughout the day, find quite time and sharpenyourself with other godly men – as Iron Sharpens Iron…

Veritas Christo et Ecclesiae

Veritas Christo et Ecclesiae

During its early years, the College offered a classic academiccourse based on the English university model but consistent with the prevailingPuritan philosophy of the firstcolonists in New England. The College was never affiliated with any particulardenomination, but many of its earliest graduates went on to become clergymen inPuritan churches throughout New England.^[12] An early brochure,published in 1643, justified the College's existence: "To advance Learning and perpetuate it toPosterity; dreading to leave an illiterate Ministry [sic] to the Churches…"^[13] Harvard's early motto was Veritas Christo etEcclesiae "Truth for Christ and the Church." In a directive to itsstudents, it laid out the purpose of all education: "Let every Student beplainly instructed, and earnestly pressed to consider well, the main end of hislife and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ which is eternal life, John. 17. 3. and therefore to lay Christ in the bottom, as the onlyfoundation of all sound knowledge and Learning.

To my surprise, I was reading a book about man, character andintegrity.  I remember reading anentrance exam to a major university (listed above) of today and was shocked ofhow far away from the truth this university has come from its originalintent:  Veritas Christo et Ecclesiae, orto say, “Truth for Christ and the Church.” This book went on to say that before students were admitted into thisuniversity that they had to be literate in Latin and also had to articulatetheir relationship with Christ in a meaningful way.  Now before you write me off and say that I amgoing to bash liberalism or I am just being a skeptic to a major university oftoday, I want to direct this conversation in a brutally honest way.

It is my belief that we, the Church, are the ones that have missedthe mark in a lot of public arenas of today. Seriously, if we had Kingdom Focus, that is God’s precepts and love in ourminds and our hearts and our souls, then imagine where America would betoday.  If we truly were the church thatChrist calls us to be, imagine the Kingdom Impact that our neighborhoods,states, country and this world would see. If the church learned to love one another and not bicker, fight and teareach other apart.  If the church trulytithed the way that God calls us to tithe. If the church truly humbled itself in reverence for God and repented ofour sins and allowed the Holy Spirit to move us further into our sanctification,then I can honestly say that society would be a better place.   Governments would have politicians thatwould not have special interests and lobbyists dictating the way they vote, butrather, we would have politicians that would have Kingdom eyes and would berepresenting the people the way God calls us to do.  The book of Job introduces us to a man whowas all to familiar with the traits and importance of character, integrity andloyalty.  We read in Job 29:13-17, “Irescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assisthim.  The man who was dying blessed me, Imade the widow’s heart sing.  I put onrighteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban.  I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame.  I was a father to the needy; I took up thecase of the stranger.    I broke the fangsof the wicked and snatched the victims from their teeth.”

So what can we do, as Legacy Dads? The answer is simple yet complex. The process is tedious yet rewarding. The outcome will be felt through eternity if you are faithful infinishing the race.  The challenge is toengage those you love.  If you aremarried and have kids then be the Spiritual Leader and the parent.  If you are divorced then be a good example toyour kids as a father and show them you have made mistakes, but you will do whatit takes to humble yourself and grow in God’s Kingdom by using the gifts thathe has given you.  Instead of pittingyour kids against each other, instead find common ground in the love that youand your ex share toward the treasures (your children) that God has givenyou.  Love them without abandon.  If we learn to love and to grow the body ofChrist using Kingdom eyes instead of our own, then imagine with me what thefuture would look like.  Stewardship,Purity, Contentment and Discipleship are words that we, those who contribute tothis blog, will continue to edify and build upon in order for the Holy Spiritto move in us.

God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11-13, “For I know the plans I havefor you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plansto give you hope and a future.  Then youwill call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek mewith all your heart.”  When we as LegacyDads, allow God to move in our lives (by prayer, petition, daily reading of theScriptures, preaching and teaching and worship) watch, listen and learn and befollowers of Christ with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.  When we raise up children and serve wives theway that Jesus served the church, IMAGINE WHAT CAN HAPPEN.