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Long Ride in to the Sunset
I thought it was the Pox. No, just pneumonia. I've been in my cave for four weeks. But even in the dark, the laptop glows. So I was able to launch my Web site. The joy of it came with the return of a voice and sand the end of convulsions.
I'm sneaking this in just before wordless Wednesday. If it doesn't make it, watch for it on Thursday.
Here's what I'm offering you tonight, my fellow legacy knights. It's a story from the journey Matt and I live, and it's a piece from our site and the model of my theme on these page: Fathering in partnership with fathers, your own especially. You'll like it.
There we were, laughing so hard Gary’s cigar fell to the floor of the very old but durable little Suzuki Samurai.
That wouldn’t do. It complicated our hilarity with the smell of serious floorboard smoke soon to be a fire, but he couldn’t take his hands off the wildly wrenching wheel. We were already backing down a steep log-dozer road, the kind normal four-wheeled vehicles don’t travel. It was midnight, and we’d dodged through Forest Service roads for two hours to get stuck. We thought we could make it over the ridge we only guessed was up there somewhere. I’d hiked in the dark a half hour up the impassable road to confirm raucous stupidity.
Trees and rocks were so dense we couldn’t turn around. But we could laugh. What a fine fix we’d gotten ourselves in to—again. And we imagined how the girls would react this time…IF we made it home. I think that was when we hit yet another boulder. This time we couldn’t rock ourselves out. A tree branch, heavy grunting, and sanctified cursing freed us, still backward...as was the Suzuki.
Two careless, uninhibited over-adventurous teens we were…NOT! Matt was 34, Gary was 62. It was one of a score of Matt and Pops, beer and cigar rides we’d taken over the years before and since. Most of it has been on horses or hiking, mostly at night. Whether the visit is here or there, we manage a father-son/comrade sortie; It’s like a mission. Kids are prayed and bedded down, wives, mother and daughter, are talking or doing TV. Comfy, but then comes the call of the wild.
This vignette and the dozen others all—every one of them—produce a story worth the retelling. A half dozen have resulted in bruises, limping, and/or blood. We now are ordered to carry our cell phone (never mind there’s no signals where we go). They also produce this story. It is the story of two men in a by-marriage family who have bonded deeply over time. These sorties have been the glue.
We talk. That’s pretty much it. If we set aside our the family connection, it is a story of two men of a deep love for God, and mutual love for the family he provided, and a stream of out-loud wondering how we can best fit our calling as men, as godly men, as husbands and fathers. We talk about a lot of stuff guys don’t get to talk about without a campfire, a seat on a mountain ledge, and a beer and a cigar. It’s the closing scenes of Boston Legal in the rough. “Naw, it don’t get no better than this.” But there is one common denominator; fathering talk. Not “how to” stuff, but the stuff of character. How do we mold, as we must, the future of Taylor--bright, bouncy, responsible—and Colton-- distracted, fierce, but deep—and truly beautiful Brooke—pirouetting, self-affirming, story telling/singing. And then the others as they came along. It was about what their futures held for them and how we could influence it by what we did today—together.
Which brings us to our journey, and our journey is the book. Generational Fathering is about our journey together in to the future we call our legacy; “ours” together. We have many more ridges to ride, even at night, knowing our horses see way better than we do, so we’ll talk more. We’ll say, “Wow!” a lot to simplify our stupification at the wondrous works of God we see, usually in grand vistas by day and stars multiplied in night’s dark skies as amplified by the seven to nine thousand foot mountains trails we venture in. And we’ll always come back smiling our delight that we denied the hesitation to stay back and do our ride some other night.
Into the Sunset?
Yeah, because it is the nature of life and of the trust we have in each other. Matt and Gary will be there for each other in the end, as will the children they delight in fathering-raising together. No good western could wind to a close without some version of riding off in to the sunset of peace-forever land. That’s what we plan, riding off as saddlemates but one at a time as our time to ride the final trail home is called. Gary will probably make sunset ridge first, whistling as he always seems to do. It will be “Happy Trails” with the sun’s setting glinting off a tear or two as he knows of five children and their parents whose lives their following generations to come will have a positive effect on this world he said he was only a visitor to in the first place. With special grace, Gary will swivel back in his saddle and survey the future. He’ll see Matt and the new father, Taylor, or maybe it’ll be Brooke’s husband. They’ll be riding off with a cigar and a beer for their very own journeys together, their legacy for the next and the next generation.
The Doctrine Of The Four Chairs
Which chair are you?Yesterday I had the privilege of attending an "Iron Sharpens Iron" event in New Lenox, Illinois. We saw a host of speakers and had the options to spend 75 minutes in between to talk with other speakers in breakout sessions. The morning Keynote Speaker was Mr. Adrian Despres and who spoke on the principles of four chairs. The first chair is what a true disciple of Christ would be.
He would be an individual who is walking by faith, praying and living by the very words of what Jesus calls us to do - Trust and Obey and to follow his precepts and to be totally and completely reliable on Him for our daily bread. In other words, the first chair Christian allows Jesus to be Lord over his entire life.
The second chair Christian is one who is more of a "pew sitter" instead of a "heavy hitter" for the Kingdom (aka "The first chair"). The second chair is what the Book of Revelation calls the lukewarm Christian. Remember what Jesus said, that He would rather have that Christian be cold or hot, but as lukewarm, he considers the second chair as puke in his mouth and would rather spit you out. Adrian, then skipped the third chair and referred to the fourth chair as the unsaved chair. Maybe he is someone who is seeking the Kingdom of God and wants a relationship with Christ, but because of the examples of the second and third chair he could become disgusted with the "body" of Christ (that church) and walk away calling chair number one and two - unloving, judgmental, hypocrites who practice Truth more than Grace. Now, chair number three, Adrian referred to as the most dangerous chair in the body of Christ.
This is someone who may have grown up in the church, knows Scripture better than most and has pretended to play church their entire life. This person may, at Judgement, say to Jesus, "Lord, Lord, save me" And Jesus will say, "Depart from me, for I never knew you." This chair is a fake and this life is not reflecting any of the Fruit of the Spirit that we find in Galatians Chapter 5. 
Here is the thing, whatever chair you are in right now, that doesn't matter to God, because He still loves you. He loves you so much that He gave His only son for you. You have to make an honest confession right now with what chair you are sitting in and not only repent to God and give that up if you are in #2, #3 and or #4. If you are in #1 then get serious, stay focused and work on changing the second and third and reaching the fourth chair. If you are #2, #3 and or #4, then repent. Confess your sin to God and move over to Chair #1. To God be the Glory forever and ever, Amen.
By the way, if you get a chance to see this great Evangelist, then by all means look him up!
Wordless Wednesday
Wordless Wednesday
Justification, Regeneration & Sanctification...
Men, what is God’s will for your life?
Romans 1:18 The wrath ofGod is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness ofmen who suppress the truth by their wickedness…Romans 2:1 You,therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for atwhatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because youwho pass judgment do the same things…Romans 3:23 for all have sinned andfall short of the glory of God…Romans 4:7 Blessed are they whosetransgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 8Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him…
1Thessalonians 4:3 It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that youshould avoid sexual immorality.
Romans 12:2 tells us, “Do not conform any longerto the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of yourmind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—Hisgood, pleasing and perfect will.”
Sola Scriptura - Scripture Alone
Solus Christus - Christ Alone
Sola Gratia - Grace Alone
Sola Fide - Faith Alone
Soli Deo Gloria - TheGlory of God Alone
So, this is what a “Coming Out” is like, eh?
I don’t mean out of a closet. I mean like a cotillion or a premier. Lance asked me, let’s see that was THREE weeks ago, if I’d write a weekly insert on Legacy Dad. “Sure,” thinking that for a talker-writer that would be easy. Not so. He said I had to write about, you know, uplifting, godly stuff that would inform, encourage, challenge, maybe even light fires.
Inauspicious beginings give hope for a brighter future. I entered this piece as a reply rather than the core upload. Slow, but humble, learner.
OK, getting to it. I hope it can set a spark for that fire thing.
Here’s what I will be talking about: Fathering. Especially partner-fathering. (Typically, you followed that phrase with a quiet “Huh?!”). Yeah, that’s when we dads discover we can NOT do best the fathering thing any more than we can do any other important thing alone. Pole vaulting and eight seconds on Bodacious are solo achievements. But the best stuff of our lives is usually done together. Even fathering.
My take on it is that bringing both new ideas (plenty of parenting books out there) and old ones (like grandfather ones) are the best way to go. That would mean new fathers and old ones. It really is a team sport. Serious and fun at the same time.
Now, why? Why will I talk most about fathering? Because it’s me. This spot is where I talk about myself first time and last so it won’t clog future contributions.
“Popi, you’re really old.” That’s a quote from my middle of five grandwonderkids. Being a dad and grand dad is first. Well, just behind my Walk with God alongside my spouse of 45 fresh years. In quick succession let me tell you what ingredients from my life spill in to the cake mix. Wheaton grad in journalism and football, then Navy’s hottest fighter pilot (at least for the 30 mano-a-mano seconds it took to bag a MiG), Campus Crusader, pastor (two years was all it took to discover my non-gift), Pentagon medium light-weight (came back out of the reserves, made captain after being on President Reagan’s aide staff), co-founding one large and three small mission agencies then one large and three small global businesses to serve as missions platforms in Muslim countries.
Last chapter of my many has shaped more of my profile than the others; I came out of the closet…as the cowboy I’d always been. Bought a mountain ranch in Colorado and became the long-haired rancher-cowboy I am today. This is where the family drama unfolds and where the basis for the book was laid that my soninlaw, Matt, and I are writing. He’s the Marriage and Family Therapist. He knows stuff. I just write stuff. Our book: Generational Fathering. We’re putting up the first run of our book web site this week (we’d love you to take part there and here, both) is www.GenerationalFathering.com . We’ve just begun serious writing, and the blog site invites your participation.
The most produced play in our history, Our Town, is about every one of those moments and people we didn’t value while we were present with them. Even Twittering can’t seem to capture them. But our heart does. And leaving behind a legacy, a dad's legacy, is learning to capture the value of the moments we live and the people most significant to us and those on whom we make the most impact.
Where I will drop in on you, fairly frequently, is working on relationships between fathers and between generations. This mantra will overlay a hope that we each as fathers can leave our legacy to bring about good and godly children who will replicate the holy work of fathering for generation after generation.
This being my innaugural, would you mind writing back a quickie to give me hints of your interest and, perhaps, of your potential interaction on these Legacy Dad topics?
Character...
The Measure of a Man
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands inmoments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challengeand controversy
I found out that the things that hurt us the most can becomethe fuel and the catalyst that propel us toward our destiny. It will eithermake you bitter or it will make you better.
Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a singleman. His character determines the character of his organization
Thisbook contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doomof sinners and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its preceptsare binding, its histories are true, and its decisions are immutable. Read itto be wise, believe it to be safe, and practice it to be holy. It containslight to direct you, food to support you, and comfort to cheer you. It is thetravelers map, the pilgrims staff, the pilots compass, the soldiers sword, andthe Christians character. Here paradise is restored, Heaven opened, and thegates of hell disclosed. Christ is its grand object, our good is its design,and the glory of God its end. It should fill the memory, rule the heart, andguide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently, and prayerfully. It is given you inlife and will be opened in the judgement and will be remembered forever. Itinvolves the highest responsibility, will reward the greatest labour, and willcondemn all who trifle with its sacred contents.
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