by Traci Gray
Before the industrial revolution, fathers often worked side by side withtheir sons and instructed their children in spiritual values. Whenindustrialization took over the American landscape, fathers left their farmsand headed to the factories. Fourteen- to 16-hour workdays set the stage forthe absentee father.
Eventually, fathers came to be regarded as merely breadwinners who fulfilledtheir paternal duties by providing.
But is that image changing again?
Research shows that tweens and teens need the firm leadership a fatherprovides. A child performs better in school if his father takes an interest inhis education. Children have more confidence when their fathers spend time withthem and show them affection. Kids learn from watching their fathers’ decisionsand listening to logical explanations.
Work pressures and other commitments may make it easy for some men to feelthey don’t have the time. However, a 2002 study found that men born after 1965spent 50 percent more time per workday with their children than boomer fathers(an average of 3.4 hours, versus 2.2 hours). That same year a workplace surveyconducted by the Society of Human Resource Management discovered that menranked the need to balance work and home life higher than their femalecolleagues.
Involved fathers find the time to attend their children’s games andrecitals. They pull themselves away from the TV to show their children how tochange a tire and balance a checkbook. They set firm limits and encourage theirkids to do their best — even when they fail.
Take a look at the questions below.
- What did you need from your father that he gave you?
- What did you need but didn’t receive?
- How did his positive input help you to succeed?
- How did the negative aspects possibly set a series of consequences into motion that you may still experience?
The answers to these questions may reveal what your children desperatelylong for. Now it’s up to you to provide it. It may make your pocketbook alittle thinner, but the benefits could be priceless.
Originally posted at http://www.family.org/parenting/A000001228.cfm