Post Conference - Act Like Men....now what....?

Lance and I walked away from this conference with about 75 other men from our churches and men's group along with 4,000 other men around many churches and we were not disappointed. Both he and I were affirmed in a good portion of our walk, convicted in some other parts that we have to sharpen up and work on and left wanting in some other areas.  Pastor James spoke on 1 Peter Chapter 3 (so did we a while ago - check this out on How to Build Up Your Wives).  This past weekend in my church's men's group, two of our facilitators talked about marriage and convictions and confessions of past sins that separated us from our wives and God's holiness, meaning these struggles need to be confessed and repented of, which would allow God's Spirit to work through us.

1 Peter 3 English Standard Version (ESV)

Wives and Husbands

3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ² when they see your respectful and pure conduct. ³ Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— ⁴ but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. ⁵ For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ⁶ as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

⁷ Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you^[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Reasons why we need to get our house (our bodies, which are temples of God) in order"

• God calls us to be holy (Read Colossians 3, Read Romans 12)
• God wants us to read his word daily
• God wants a relationship with us (this implies a two way street)
• God wants us to lead our wives (and families)
• God calls us to testify about Him, His Son, His words and His good news
• God calls us to teach and preach to others to repent and turn away from sin (all variations of, which doesn't give us a right to be hypocritical)
• God call us to treat His daughters (our wives) with respect and as heirs to His kingdom (so that our prayers will not be hindered)
• The world is spinning out of control - this doesn't mean that we have to compromise biblical truth

What are some things that you and I need to be honest about?  Where can we go from here?  What does God require of us today?  Likely if you are reading this blog, then you have been elsewhere on the internet.  Your time is being pulled from you daily.  Is everything we do Coram Deo?  Is God over everything in our lives?  If not, why not?

What are some changes you and I can make today in our families, our work, our church and our walks?

What are you waiting for?

Blessings,

D

Some takeaways from ActLikeMen2015

Lance and I will be posting our takes and viewpoints on all the material covered at Act Like Men 2015 this past weekend over the next few weeks.Once again, the theme verse was:  1 Corinthians 16:13-  (ESV) 13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.

Legacy Dad sponsored the event and we got to talk to a lot of men and churches that wanted to know what Legacy Dad can do for them.  At one point, I had a pastor come up and ask me for the two-minute elevator speech of what we are about.   Instead of responding to that question, I kindly asked this kind pastor what were some of the most important things to teach children and his men.  This led to a very good talk and he was very interested in what Legacy Dad could do for his church and men (we look forward to the opportunity).

Pastor Eric Mason opened the conference up on the preview of what this conference would bring and did he bring it.  He shared from his heart and talked about some shakeable faith moments in his life that would rock any of our faith foundations to its core and have us ask whom do we serve and whom do we believe after this moments.  He didn't fail us in his delivery and his heart in sharing the gospel.

Pastor James Macdonald, in our opinion, always does a stellar job and is consistent in message and in his heartfelt desire for men, women and children to grow in their Faith.  We love to hear this man of God preach and to teach - it was our joy to hear his compassion shine for men this past weekend and for the weeks and months and years to come.  Pastor James opened the conference up on the first theme of Being Watchful and he also shared the Gospel and we witnessed hundreds of men committing (and re-committing their lives) to Jesus.  Pastor James really brought his gifts to the pulpit and delivered a heart-felt piercing message for men to examine themselves and to see where they are at in their faith.  Pastor James also talked on Saturday on the them of Being Strong and what that looks like in a disciples life.  This message came in the Saturday part of the conference and, once again, Pastor James nailed it.

Saturday morning continued right up the proverbial flagpole with Pastor Matt Chandler preaching on the them of Standing Firm and not backing down from our faith (I will post on these themes later).  He shared his past and his genealogy with us and where he came from.  He shared his struggles in parenting and the difficulties of life that come in the way of discipleship.  Pastor Matt has endured a lot of faith shaking moments in his life (as have I) and he really was honest to the core in his delivery.  He really challenged the men to own up to their faith and to make the stand in their faith.  We were truly blessed by these three men.

Pastor Eric Mason closed the conference on the theme of Let all that you do be done in love.  This was definitely some interesting twists and turns on this that were very applicable for me in my walk.  I really appreciated Pastor Eric this year.  Lance was telling me that he used some of his Video series with his men at his church.

One of my most special moments of the entire conference was the lunch time on Saturday Morning.  Lance and I brought 3 churches of men together and catered lunch for them all.  We all ate and socialized and chatted for the first half our of our hour and a half lunch break.  The next hour was when the Spirit moved in all of our lives.  Lance and I had everyone get into a big circle facing each other and we started with some ground rules:  1) when you wanted to talk, state your name and share with the group being watchful with your time so other guys could share 2) before you began sharing the entire group would welcome you to our forum by saying Hi ______) 3) Once you were finished thanking the guys for sharing or saying that's all 4) the rest of the guys saying thank you to the person sharing and stating their name.

What surprised me most, was that this was not a small group by any means, as there were almost 50 in attendance, was the fact that just about everyone in the room did share and opened up about what the conference (What God, the Holy Spirit and Jesus) were saying to them. This was sacred ground because men were sharing, men were accountable and men were opening up to other men about real life issues, challenges and struggles.  It was so special that I had to remind that men that this was sacred and that anything that was said in that room stays in that room unless the person sharing gave permission to share.

It was at this point, that I am reminded to those of you that would ask what Legacydad.com can do for you and what our men's ministry can do for you - it's this.  It is setting up an environment for you to read God's word, worship together, share together and do life together.  It is a place to where we share with you insights that work for us and that are constantly evolving as men, culture and struggles in life change daily.  It is being real and relational with other men.

Lance and I are humbled by those of you that have reached out to us this past weekend and shared what our blog has done for you, what it will continue to do for you and how we can continue to meet your needs through the days, months and years to come.  For those of you that want us to engage your church and your men, your marriages and your family ministries we say, "To God be the Glory forever and ever amen."

Thank you for taking the time that you spend with us via website, in person or in ministry.

Blessings to you all,

Dante & Lance

Esse quam videriCorum Deo

Circumstances beyond our control...

Recently, I have been playing catch up with our church in our four-year Bible reading plan.  I like to try to read it once a year, but this year I wanted to slow my pace and read it with other brothers who are going on this journey as well.  It has given me some great insight and personal reflection.  This month we are reading through Genesis and I have been captivated by Genesis 45 which tells us about Joseph and his journey through life and circumstances that were beyond his control.Genesis 45 English Standard Version (ESV)

Joseph Provides for His Brothers and Family

45 Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, “Make everyone go out from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. 3 And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. 4 So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. 6 For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. 7 And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. 8 So it was not you who sent me here, but God.

I am pretty sure that you are familiar with this story.  There is a great musical on this story and if you ever get the chance to see it or rent the musical on DVD, then do.  Often, we think that we can control our daily lives and our circumstances, but some of us who are reading this and are writing this will definitely disagree with this on a broad basis.  Sometimes life throws us circumstances that are beyond our control.  For some that could be loss of a love one, cancer, tragedy, job loss and so on.  Sometimes life throws us trials and tribulations that we cannot understand or that we may dismiss as spiritual attack.  Sometimes it may be spiritual attack and sometimes it just may be from the consequences of our actions.

But we have to ask this question:  Is God over everything?  Is He in control of everything?  Why does He permits such things from happening?

Look at Joseph:

• His brothers despised him
• They were going to kill him
• He was sold into slavery
• He was falsely imprisoned
• He was left in jail after he interpreted dreams for the cupbearer and baker
• He was left alone without his dad and homeland for a large part of his life

After all of this, many of us would have thrown in the proverbial towel and said, “Enough, I cannot take anymore!  I quit”  Or maybe we would just be angry and blame everyone else for our circumstances.  Joseph had every reason to blame his life circumstance on his brothers and could have wallowed in that misery, anger and depression for the rest of his life.  Instead he chose to trust God and lean on God’s understanding instead of his own understanding.

After all of this, he realizes through life’s trials and tribulations that God had a much bigger plan for his life than Joseph did.  It didn’t matter what Joseph wanted or how he wanted to spend his life, because God sent him on a different trajectory.  This was a path to save many lives and to keep a people from extinction.  So it was not Joseph and his brothers, instead it was God who put him in these circumstances – was it fair?  In the world’s terminology, probably not.  In God’s plan – absolutely.  It is amazing to read how God ordained this for Joseph and Israel and his eleven brothers and their people.

Instead of getting mad at our circumstances or upset or depressed or left alone, maybe we should turn our attention to God.  Read His word.  Study His word and reflect on it.  Maybe we should pray and ask God for His insight and His guidance.  Maybe we should get over ourselves and our circumstance and realize it was not you who sent me here, but God.

Blessings,

Dante

Lessons learned from Timothy

FOCUS ON:1 TIMOTHY

1:15 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. (IT IS ALL ABOUT JESUS)

6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain, 7 for we brought nothing into the world, and[c] we cannot take anything out of the world. 8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. (BE CONTENT)

ACTION STEPS:

1 TIMOTHY2: 2 First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people (PRAY ALWAYS)

2:8 I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control,

4:7 Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness;

4:15 Practice these things, immerse yourself in them,[c] so that all may see your progress. 16 Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers. (PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH)

5:1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.  3 Honor widows who are truly widows. (RESPECT OTHERS REGARDLESS OF POSITION OR TITLE)

5:22 Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others; keep yourself pure. (DISCERN)

6:11 But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

6:17 As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. 18 They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, 19 thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.

FOCUS ON:

2 Timothy

2:11 The saying is trustworthy, for:  If we have died with him, we will also live with him; 12 if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; 13 if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself. (IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS)

3:3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

ACTION STEPS:2 Timothy

2:1 You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, 2 and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men[a] who will be able to teach others also.

22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 23 Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. 24 And the Lord's servant[e] must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

4:2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

Blessings,

Dante

What is your life sowing?

Matthew 13 English Standard Version (ESV)The Parable of the Sower

13 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. ² And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat down. And the whole crowd stood on the beach. ³ And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. ⁴ And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. ⁵ Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, ⁶ but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. ⁷ Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. ⁸ Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.⁹ He who has ears,^[a] let him hear.”

The Purpose of the Parables

¹⁰ Then the disciples came and said to him, “Why do you speak to them in parables?” ¹¹ And he answered them, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. ¹² For to the one who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. ¹³ This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. ¹⁴ Indeed, in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled that says:

“‘“You will indeed hear but never understand,and you will indeed see but never perceive.”¹⁵ For this people's heart has grown dull,and with their ears they can barely hear,and their eyes they have closed,lest they should see with their eyesand hear with their earsand understand with their heartand turn, and I would heal them.’

¹⁶ But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. ¹⁷ For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.

The Parable of the Sower Explained

¹⁸ “Hear then the parable of the sower: ¹⁹ When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path. ²⁰ As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, ²¹ yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away.^[b] 22 As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. ²³ As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.”

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If you and I were to glance back on our life and look for that peace that can only come from Christ, would our lives bear the fruit of the Spirit:  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness (and self-control)?  That is not to say that we would not have trial and tribulation because for those of us who profess Jesus Christ as Savior then we know that those who love and truly follow him will face trials and tribulations of many kinds.  I am not talking about this, rather, I am talking about that peace that should be evident in our life.

I want to focus on where I lives are currently at (where they have landed at this particular time in our life).   I want to focus on the path that Jesus is talking about and ask ourselves these questions when we take a deep look at examining ourselves.  Are we bearing the fruit of the Spirit?  Are we in community?  Are we serving Jesus Christ (we are true followers and not just fans)?  Are we teachable?  Are we humble?  Do we exude spiritual maturity?  If not, why not?

Have our lives:

• Fell along the path:  We hear the words (the Bible, the teaching and preaching of the Bible) and we do not understand it?
• Fell along rocky ground:  We hear the words, but have no root in the Word, in community and fellowship, a prayer life?  And when trials and tribulations and persecution came along we immediately fall away from God?
• Fell among thorns:  We hear the words, but our focus is not on Jesus Christ and His Church, rather, it is on the ways of this world (living for our own desire and pleasures instead of God's will for our life).  This, too, proves an unfaithful servant.
• Fell on good soil:  These are the true disciples of Jesus Christ.  They hear the word and understand the word and apply that to their entire life and way of thinking.  When they hear the word and fall on good soil (God's word and His wisdom and understanding they are truly following His will in all their life).  These are individuals that you see that do face trials and do face tribulations and they are genuine.  There is something different about them.  Look around in the church, in your communities and in your work place - they are there! Are you one of them?

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When the Judgement of the Lord comes, and it will come, I do not want to be looking back at my life and saying I could/should have done it different.  I don't want to be saying why did I make all those other things in my life a priority instead of what God prioritizes for me in His Word.  I do not want to be second guessing myself at his Judgement Seat.  Instead I want to hear the words, "well done good and faithful servant".

I do not want to live the life of a fake or follower.  I want my life to bear his fruit daily.  I want my life to be that life of  a disciple.  Does this mean that I will always have it right?  By no means.  However, with daily prayer, reading of the word, accountability and honesty along with repentance, I can move toward becoming the new creation that Jesus Christ gave me versus always falling back to that old self (our old sin nature).

Do you not know that those of us that confess that Jesus is our Lord and Savior and follow his ways have been bought with a price?  A price that we could never pay nor endure?

As for me and my house, we choose to serve the Lord.

Blessings,

Dante

Sons and Daughters

Psalm 144:12English Standard Version (ESV)¹² May our sons in their youthbe like plants full-grown,our daughters like corner pillarscut for the structure of a palace;

As we move through Scripture through the days of our lives we realize that there truly is no clear way to spell out God's manual for raising our kids.  I mean, to say, that you can't just go to one book or one chapter of the Bible and get a step by step way to raise your children the way that God wants you to raise them.  However, as you read through the Bible (over and over should be our posture) as this is a life-giving manual, then you can see may different applications that are true precepts and statutes for us to learn and submit and obey (and then we are instructed to teach our children).

This is a very serious call for a parent.  If we miss this, we miss our mission field that God has given us authority over.  There are a lot of studies that give us varying degrees of how to raise a child, but there are so many different parenting styles and God has made each of us uniquely.  Add to that, when you have a husband and a wife in union with God' covenant marriage, we are called (as dads) to be prophets, priests and kings of our homes.

Here are some non-negotiable applications, as parents, that we all have to do:

• Pray for our children
• Pray for their spouses and spouses families
• Live by the Bible
• Practice what we preach
• Make our faith real to them
• Allow our children to fail (to lose) and to understand loss
• Trust the Lord (he has them)
• Be there for them as much as we possibly can (this thing of quality over quantity is horse rubbish - it should be quantity with quality wrapped inside of the quantity)
• Read scripture with them
• Teach them to memorize scripture (thereby which, we have to memorize scripture)
• Tell them stories of the Bible and life applications when devotions come (how does this text become relevant in our lives)

When my wife was sick and in the hospital for 6 days the first year and the 3 days for the second year I found myself in one of the worst trials and tribulations of my life.  I found myself praying more and more and relying more and more on God's will for my life.  I was angry, sad, mad, depressed, stressed and every possible emotion you can imagine.   I read the Book of Job a lot during this time.

If you remember that God allowed Satan to test Job by taking away his wealth and health and children.  His wife and friends thought he did something in his life and accused him instead of being there for him:  Comforting him, encouraging him and urging him to live a life worthy of God.  His wife, at one point, said to him to curse God and die!?!  Those were tough times for Job and when you think that things cannot get any worse - they do!

Job, however, knew something that not every person does:  There is a Redeemer.  There is a mediator between God and man and His name is Jesus.  Job had not met this Redeemer, BUT he knew that He lives!  That is pretty cool and that sustained me during my trials and tribulations with my wife.  In the end, we learn that God is in control and that nothing happens without God ordaining them.

As we are all different people from different walks and different talks in life, we realize that when we getting married in a biblical marriage (a covenant marriage) we realize that there are not just one sinner but two sinners coming together to make one flesh and who have little sinners that we are called to raise and train up in the Lord.  Understand the math: 1 sinner + 1 sinner = more sinners.  We are all broken and in need of a Savior.  God understands our weaknesses and daily struggles and Jesus left us the Holy Spirit.  Our bodies are a temple of the living God - we are called to be holy.

This past weekend, my wife and I had the pleasure to go to a wedding (Friday - dinner rehearsal, Saturday the wedding) and spend time with this family that we love.  The bride was our baby sitter with our kids for over 10 years.  She (and her two brothers) are different from most families.   They are real with their faith.  They love God and the church.  They are teachable and humble.    My wife and I felt that at any given time we could have literally left our kids with this you adult for a week, a month and or a year (not that we would) and that she could manage very well.  Our children adore her and the older two had to go and see the wedding ceremony.

One of these days, my wife and I are going to do dinner with her parents and pick their brains for a few hours and then we are going to have all three children (young woman and two young men) over for dinner and interview them about their parents and ask them what their parent did that has their faith so real (but this will be for another post).

We may not all have the same parenting training manual but there are things that we should do consistently for sons and things we should do consistently for daughters as legacy dads.

For Sons:

• Do not lie to them
• Teach them the values of Honor, Courtesy, Integrity, Self-control, Perseverance, Courage and Community
• Be real in our faith with them (struggles, fears, wrongdoings and repentance)
• Model love for them (with our children and with our wives)
• Teach them Scripture (read and memorize with them)
• Teach them how to treat women (not just by words but by action)
• Teach them the importance of purity (from this world, media and others around)
• Teach them how to pray (pray with them)
• Play with them (toys, games, board games, go see movies, fish, sports - just don't make things an idol before God)
• Give them hugs, kisses and your time

For Daughters:

• Do not lie to them
• Teach them the values of Honor, Courtesy, Integrity, Self-control, Perseverance, Courage and Community
• Be real in our faith with them (struggles, fears, wrongdoings and repentance)
• Model love for them (with our children and with our wives)
• Teach them Scripture (read and memorize with them)
• Teach them how to treat men (not just by words but by action - honor their moms and encourage them to follow her lead)
• Teach them the importance of purity (from this world, media and others around)
• Teach them how to pray (pray with them)
• Play with them (toys, games, board games, go see movies, fish, sports - just don't make things an idol before God)
• Give them hugs, kisses and your time

In everything that we do either as individuals or parents, first seek the Kingdom of God.  Second ask for His will and third lean on His understanding and not our own.  When in doubt - pray!  In all things, strive to make your faith real (this requires a real prayer life and the daily reading of the Word).

Blessings,

Dante