Why I do a daddy-daughter(s) dance...

[youtube id="nrWMBC6yoME"]For the past several years in February of each year I have the pleasure to take my two daughters to the ball (aka "Daddy Daughter Dance").  This past year was a blast because I went with a really good friend (who I just came back from vacation with - adults only) and really enjoyed our time getting to know each other and building our friendship.  We both decided on vacation to step up the dinner to a fancy place - and our girls really enjoyed themselves as did we.

We took pictures, the girls ate cake, drank juice and had candy along the night and would not stop dancing with their dads throughout the entire night.  I think it is really important for dads to date their daughters for many reasons.  I think it is important to treat their mother the way that you want them to be treated.  I think, as Legacy Dads we could not have a more challenging task then to raise our kids to know the truth (owning the word of God and having a relationship with Jesus) along with life skills.

So hear are the top 10 reasons why you should date your daughters:

1. They need to learn how a man should treat a woman (with respect and adoration)
2. They need to have our time (not just quality but as much quantity, hugs, kisses and full attention we can give them (men - put your stupid phones away when you date them)
3. Teach them how to dance (if you don't make it up, woman love a man who doesn't care what others think when they are having a good time)
4. Show them how to open a door for them and to pull out their seats before they sit down (Chivalry in my house is well and alive)
5. Hugs and Kisses and Butterfly Kisses, as well
6. Because when you are intentional with the love that they so crave from you (as dad) you will see a glimmer of hope and awe in their eyes - see the picture for proof)
7. They are watching you, your walk, your talk, your integrity and your relationship with God (is your faith real)
8. Do not be afraid to chase their hearts (pursue their hopes and dreams and listen to what they are saying
9. To give them the sense of security (dad is in control)\
10. To show them the love of God

Life is precious and before you know it - they will be gone

Blessings,

Dante

What are your top 6 priorties?

When you look at other ministries and other people what fruit do you see?  Do you see the fruit of the Spirit or the fruit of the sinful nature?  If we are truly saved, by Grace, then what should naturally flow out of us?  Often, we will find individuals that have this insatiable drive to serve and to bust their humps to be busy, but how often do we see individuals that truly are bearing the fruit of the Spirit in their every day lives.If I were to ask you in any order:

• Family
• Community
• Work
• God
• Church
• Friends

Which would you say that is your top priority naming them 1 (most important) through 6.   So go ahead and in your best and most honest answer by the fruit in your life (what your family, friends and the world (even your checkbook) would say that that order is.  Now, what would your wife and kids say that your priorities are?  Now ask your wife what her priorities are (really are) and what she thinks others would say (including you).  Now, once these two exercises are done let's have the two of you (and your family) based on the Bible write down what priorities you think should be the order collectively.

Once you that down, click here for where the second post is going (don't click on it until you complete your family lists (come on, be honest)

Blessings,

Dante

The Pursuit of Happiness

The Declaration of Independence: A TranscriptionIN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness…

These men were standing together against tyranny and against a form of government that no longer cared about the inalienable rights of individuals as highlighted in red above.  They stood together against a far superior force and military that for any other reason would be overwhelmed if it had not been for God allowing these men to form a nation:  The United States of America.

This post is not about the rich culture of American History and the men that made this such a great nation.  Not every founding father was a professing christian and had a relationship with Jesus Christ, but we read in Romans 8, that that doesn't matter because God will use who He chooses to use for His good and purpose.  I am so thankful to be a part of this country and to be able to be free to speak and to worship and to read the Bible in public venues without fear of persecution or condemnation.  Clearly, some of you may be thinking that this government is so far away from the original statements laid before in this wonderful Declaration, but we have seen this before.  Communists trying overthrow our government through media channels, Nazis infiltrating very aspects of our society and some other modern day Governments that so desperately crave to destroy the very essence of Freedom.

There is a lot that is wrong with this world and even in our country, but remember this, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God" Romans 3.  No matter how we hope that legislators and rulers and bosses and so on can get the very essence of God's word to promote justice and freedom and the belief for each and everyone of us to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, we will always find those that want to stunt this thought and have plans of their own.  Plans that our contrary to the word of God and to the very statutes of our creator.

These founding fathers understood the most important lesson in life:  There is a Creator and every knee will bow and tongue will confess.  So what does that mean for you and I?  Simply put, why should each one of us act differently then the world?  Why should we be humble, teachable and respectful of others?  Why should we love the Lord God with all of our heart, mind, body and soul and secondly why should we love our neighbor as ourselves?  Because Jesus told us that these are the two most important commands to follow (because all the others hinge on this).

What rights do we have as legacy dads:

• To love God
• To read his word daily
• To pray often
• To be loved by Him
• To love our wives unconditionally (Read 1 Peter 3:7)
• To love our children unconditionally
• To pursue our happiness (honoring God all the way)
• To be humble in all circumstances
• To trust and obey (for there is no other way)
• To Submit to God's will for our lives (this brings us His plans and His freedoms for our lives)

What if these are not the case in my life?  What if my life is bearing more sinful nature stuff then the fruit of the Spirit? What should I do, Dante? Lance?  Where can I turn?  How can I right this wrong?  How can I turn this ship around?  How can I take this dead marriage back to life?  YOU CAN'T, BUT  GOD CAN MAKE NEW THINGS AND RAISE THE DEAD TO LIFE!!!

Right now, if this speaks to you:

• Pray, ask God to reveal His will for your life (note:  If you are not reading the Bible, then you will not get this request)
• Get involved with other men (in a bible study, in an accountability group - true accountability)
• Love unconditionally
• If there is more deeper issues (scars, hurts, wrongs) get profession biblical help

Wait on God & Trust Him.

Blessings,

Dante

TOP 10 THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL

As I continue to get older (and older) I have come to the realization that most older people (those that learn from their lives and continue to learn) have a wealth of knowledge if we could just take the time to engage them and chat with them and build relationship with them.  A dear old friend of mine used to say to me that there is only two things in life that we can control and that is: 1) Our attitudes and 2) how we handle the situation that God brings to us.This brings me to my top 10 list of things that you can't control:

1. Those around us - We cannot force our will on others nor control them for the outlook that we want
2. The way that God made us - Each of us have been faithfully and wonderfully made.  God loves us all and has made each one of us unique in our own special ways
3. Our family - We get to choose our friends (not our family) but God calls us to love our family and to show them the love of Christ
4. Those who we work with and work for - (obviously if you are a boss, or company owner you have influence) if you yield to scripture and follow its teaching, whether you are an owner, a peon or somewhere in the middle or upper middle, you cannot control those around you nor the situations that they present you with
5. The choices we have made (in the past) - we are accountable to decisions and actions that we have taken and we cannot control the outcome of those decisions if we made decisions that are contrary to God's will for our lives
6. The consequences of our past - God's way brings the abundant life, the world's way brings consequences to sin (as for me and my house we will choose to serve the Lord)
7. What other people know that we don't - unless they want to share with us, we cannot control what they want to share or don't want to share
8. What the future will bring (or won't) - Read Roman's 8 (God is in control)
9. What others think of us - Who is your identity in? The world or in Christ?
10. Whether or not others like us (or want to love us) - this is huge, because this impacts #1 through #9 and how we are around others.  If you have lived long enough on this earth you will find that not everyone will like you (people are different) and you will find that some may even hate you.  Is your identity in them or in Christ?

What we can control:

Our attitudes - how we react to positive and negative influences (and people) in our lives

How we handle the situation that God brings to us - From James 1 (NIV) 1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.

Trials and Temptations

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. 9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business. 12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.  13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Listening and Doing

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.  26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Don't just hear the words (of the Bible) do what they say (as we are required to do as disciples of Christ).

Blessings,

Dante

Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s on the sin of lust

Hebrews 12:1-  (NIV) 12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.The following is a quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book, Temptation:

"In our members there is a slumbering inclination toward desire, which is both sudden and fierce.  With irresistible power, desire seizes mastery of the flesh.  All at once a secret, smoldering fire is kindled.  The flesh burns and is in flames.  It makes no difference whether it is a sexual desire, or ambition, or vanity, or desire for revenge, our love of fame and power, or greed for money…"

"At this moment God is quite unreal to us. [Remember those words.] He loses all reality, and only desire for the creature is real.  The only reality is the devil.  Satan does not here fill us with hatred of God, but with forgetfulness of God…  The lust thus aroused  envelopes the mind and will of a man in deepest darkness.  The powers of clear discrimination and of decision are taken from us.  The questions present themselves as, ” Is what the flesh desires really sin in this case?” And, ” Is it really not permitted me, yes, expected of me now, here in my particular situation to appease desire?'"

"It is here that everything within me rises up against the Word of God….  Therefore the Bible teaches us in times of temptation in the flesh, there is one command:  Flee!  Flee fornication.  Flee idolatry.  Flee youthful lusts.  Flee the lusts of the world.  There is no resistance to Satan in lust other than flight.  Every struggle against lust in one’s own strength is doomed to failure."

“The essence of chastity is not the suppression of lust, but the total orientation of one's life towards a goal. Without such a goal, chastity is bound to become ridiculous. Chastity is the sine qua non of lucidity and concentration.”

"No sacrifice is too great if it causes us to conquer a lust which cuts us off from Jesus. Both eye and hand are less than Christ, and when they are used as the instruments of lust and hinder the whole body from the purity of discipleship, they must be sacrificed for the sake of Him. The gains of lust are trivial compared with the loss it brings – you forfeit your body eternally for the momentary pleasure of eye or hand. When you have made your eye the instrument of impurity, you cannot see God with it."

----

As a men's ministry leader (and Elder) I find it very interesting to watch different guys and there walks (and some without their walks walking aimlessly and without direction looking to find God's will for their lives, without being in the Word or praying for God's will in our life).  What surprises me most are men that are at peace with mediocrity:

• In a marriage that is just coasting instead of healthy and vibrant
• In a marriage that is lacking friendship, intimacy and security and trust
• In a job that is not God-honoring (meaning that the man (employee) is not serving God instead of serving his self
• In a family that he is completely disconnected with
• In a church or community that he is just going through the motions with

I do not have the statistics on me this evening, but talking with my wife a while back, there were studies on marriages that were either flailing (failing or downright dead) and the couples that stuck through it, got counseling and worked on their communication were 5 times happier than couples that ended in divorce and were left wanting (hurting and remorseful).

The thing about sin (lust, temptation and desire) is that at that "moment" or time when we are called to flee and instead finding ourselves sticking around the temptation the positive results are never positive and I don't care who you are that says otherwise.  I will stand on scripture and believe that God's ways and his plan for the abundant life far outweighs our knowledge (the world's knowledge) on what we should do for ourselves.  Scripture is clear:  FLEE (Run, Move quickly, do not be slow, GET AWAY NOW) from the temptation of sin.

I love the men and saints who have come before us who have been deeply rooted in scripture and the study thereof.  They may or may not be smarter than us in this current day, but they have put the miles in on their relationship with God and His word and prayer.  They have been battled (spiritual) tested (in Dietrich's case:  both spiritually and physically at war) and have left great thoughts and writings (paved the way for us to go).

We can choose two things in life:

• Our attitude
• Whom we will serve

As for me and my house, we choose to serve the Lord.

Blessings,

Dante

UnWhich

This week is Founders Week at Moody.  There are some great speakers and you can click here to listen to the Speakers and their messages.  I was driving home today and listening to a an excerpt from Ron Hutchcraft about Christians who were trying to run the race and would not even begin to leave the starting line because they were bogged down with too many rocks in their backpacks of life.He referenced certain rocks:  The rocks of unforgiveness, the rock of hatred and so on.   Later in his message he talked about the rock of Kryptonite (that which takes the strength from Superman), and prevents him from doing his very best.

How many of us Christians are stuck in our own proverbial ruts of life, in life and because of life circumstances.  Some more than others of us may have justification:

• Parents divorce
• Being made a victim as a child
• Abuse
• Neglect
• Being unloved
• Parents dying
• Our health or lack thereof

How many of us Christians are stuck in the Unwhich category of life?  That is, how many of us are unwilling to let go and let God.  How many of us are stuck in the "Un"s of life:

• Unforgiveness
• Unloved
• Unaccepted
• Unapologetic
• Underappreciated
• underutilized
• Unavailable
• Unaware (of God's will for our lives)
• Unbecoming
• Unbelief
• Uncertain

How can we move from these UNderperformers into God's will for our life. You ask, Dante, how can you ask me to forgive for what that man, that woman, that boss, that person, that event and that circumstance has done to me (and my situation of life).

Colossians 3:13 (NIV) 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

How can we move from what we think is our best, to the reality of God's best for us?

Take a self exam of ourselves:

• Am I in the word daily?
• Am I in accountability?
• Do I pray regularly?
• Is my faith real inside and outside of church?
• Do I see more of the fruit of the Spirit in my life (or the fruit of the Sinful Nature?)?

How do I move toward God's will for my life?  Talk to a trusted brother, a mentor or a pastor.  Have an honest conversation with your wife and ask them to lovingly hold you accountable.  Give them permission to speak truth in your life.

Repent, turn, move closer to God and He will draw closer to you.Trust, submit and obey!

Your thoughts?

Dante

Which way are you running dad?

Dear Dad,As I watch you in your older years, it is difficult for me to watch your body and brain succumb to the ages of life (Parkinson's, Dementia and your health along the way).  You are my dad and a man who has taught me so much and continues to do so in your elderly years.  You have always impressed upon me the importance of hard work, of finishing the job, of commitment, of being a man (even though you were not yet a Christian at this time of training - you paved the legacy for me to connect the dots).  I want to thank you for making me into the husband and father that you have worked so hard to do.

Do I always get that right?  No.  Am I selfish and sometimes fail to find the lessons in your many years of training? Yes.  But I strive to be the man who you want me to be and the husband and father that you so drove into me.  If it were in my power not to work, not to raise my kids and not to be the husband that you want me to be, I would quit everything and bring you with me and listen to you and hold you and comfort you without mom.  You taught me the importance of marriage and to avoid the temptations of life.  You quoted Shakespeare to me in ways to avoid debt and to be raised right.

The one thing that I am so grateful for is after all the years of me trying to lead you to Jesus Christ that you never heeded those words, that is, until the day that I had a son.  Thanks to a dear church friend of mine that told me to be real in my faith and to share my heart with you, which lead me to talk about the love of my son (your grandson).  I said to you that if the world required that I sacrifice my son to save the world that I would tell the world to go to hell.  I caught that moment of toughness turned to weakness in you, when you exhaled and held a tear back and said to me, 'That is how I feel about you" and then to watch your expression melt when I shared what God did with His son for you and me and my son.

I am so grateful to you that was the day that the Lord called you to be his.  This is the legacy that I want from my son, dad.  Yes, I want him to understand the gifts of life that we are given:

• The gift of work
• The gift of money
• The gift of friends
• The gift of learning
• The gift of problems
• The gift of family
• The gift of laughter
• The gift of dreams
• The gift of Giving
• The gift of Gratitude
• The gift of a day
• The gift of Love

But what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?  It doesn't!  "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us," Hebrews 12:1

Dad,  thank you for instilling in me the importance of being a man of God.  At the time of your training, you didn't know Jesus Christ as Savior (yet), but he was preparing you for what lies ahead.  Thank you for always being there for me and I want to especially thank you for standing your ground and giving me boundaries and allowing me to fail within that framework.  You have taught me a lot - how to be a man.  For that, I am eternally grateful.  Thank you for hearing God's call to accept His Son as Savior.  I cannot wait for you and mom to be re-united.  In the meantime, please have patience with me as I learn again and again to be patient with you and pray that you will be the patient with me as we both age.

I love you!

Love,

Dante

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Dear Legacy dads,

Lance and I want to encourage you in your walks.  No matter the past, no matter where you are in the present, trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.  Acknowledge him in all of your ways and He will make your paths straight.  The question that was asked to all of you in the beginning was, "Which way are you running, dad?"  This is an epic question and one that deserves to be answered by all of our legacy dads and moms out there.

Ask yourselves these following questions:

• By my activities and those that I/we have our children involved in, am I doing the best at what God calls us to do as dads (moms/parents)?
• Would my checkbook affirm that I am a disciple of Christ
• Would my activities and habits and daily doings show that?
• How can I take the idols out of my life (sports, activities, hobbies that take me away from serving God)?
• How do I find God's will in my life?
• How do I get in the relationship with God in such a way that He speaks to me?
• Am I/are we doing what God calls us to do?
• If not, why not?

It's never to late to leave the legacy that God wants you to lead.  Surrender and Obey...do not just read His words, do what they say.

Blessings,

Dante

Are smart phones a sin....?

Before I go into different parallels on this question, I wanted to ask you, the reader, what your initial reaction was?  Was it:  1) No way! 2) Hmmm 3) I never really thought about that 4) hmmm, okay, I can see where this is going?  If you are truly in tune with the word and with our old self (sin nature) and our new self (a new creation in Christ) then you could clearly choose option 3 and or option 4.The reality of the question really becomes what is the writer really trying to ask me.   Does it have to be a phone?  Can it be a computer, a tv, a car, a person, a cherished item and/or what.  The real question is:  Are they any people, places or things in your life that are a sin?  Now you are probably saying how can a people be a sin in my life?  That is a fair question and one that deserves to be answered (not yet).  Stay with me, please.

To be in tune with what I am really asking, ask yourselves these questions:

• Is the Lord over areas in my life, or does He control them all?
• Are there idols in my life that I need to destroy or set in their proper place?
• How can I serve two masters?
• Is what I prioritize in my life honoring God?
• If not, why not?

Job 12:6English Standard Version (ESV) 6 The tents of robbers are at peace, and those who provoke God are secure, who bring their god in their hand.[a]

How can people, places or things be a sin in our life?  When we put the word of God into this perspective, then the answer really is:  easily!  Some choose to idolize a movie star, a child, a rock star, and so on.  Others choose to worship stuff and assets and things that they covet and yet still others choose to put things before God making all these other things a small "g" (god).

So, back to the original paragraph: How can a cell phone be a sin?  Simply put, if it comes before everything else in our life.  Seriously, next time you go out to dinner with the family (put down your cell phone, heck, turn it off and leave it in the car) and watch your family.  Watch the people around you and watch how everyone (even intimate relationships) put these idols before their very own lives.

Technology is not a sin when we use it for good.  However, as humans, not many of us know how to filter, how to time manage and how not to covet what the world throws at us.  I know this, because as I type these very words, I am convicted by some of these idols in my life.

So the focus question here for all of us:

Is the Lord the Lord over all of our lives?Thoughts?

Dante