Fathers, Mentors, Disciples of Christ

“Remember that mentor leadership is all about serving. Jesus said, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).”― Tony Dungy, The Mentor Leader: Secrets to Building People and Teams That Win Consistently

“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”

― Plato

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.”

― William Arthur Ward

Why are you here?  What is your purpose for living?  What should you be doing and giving with what God has given you?  How should I raise my child (children)?  Am I doing God's will?  What is God's will for my life?  Should I withhold good when it is in my power to act?  How can I (one man) make a difference?

Whether or not these are questions that you randomly ask yourself, at some time or another these themes keep popping back up in my head and my thoughts continue to ponder these questions over and over and over again.

I am writing this to followers of Jesus Christ (not unbelievers or just fans, but Followers).  That being said, if you do know know Christ as your personal Savior (google Romans Road of Salvation - or send us an email or find a bible believing/preaching church and ask their pastor/elders how to be saved.  For the rest of you that choose to continue to read this - thank you!  I would also beg for your input and thoughts into this post.   

A while ago, Lance had put out what our readers wanted to hear more about and one of the responses was this:  "Sacrifice/love of fathers/mentors? Much like the examples of Abraham/Isaac, God/Jesus, Paul/Timothy."  I love this response and topic.  Jesus Christ called us to be disciples and not just fans not just pew sitters - he wants Kingdom builders and Heavy Hitters for His will (Not ours!).

If we are to truly be disciples of Christ then we have to sacrifice everything for Him and His will.

Let’s see what Jesus said about the cost of discipleship:“Luke 14:25-33 The Cost of Discipleship

25 Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple."

Let's put it this way, as disciples of Christ, we are called to pick up are Cross and carry it daily.  Does that sound easy, passive and unresponsive to God's will and plan for us?  When you weigh these two things, for me, it is easy to see that sacrifice is paramount here.  As fathers we are called to be fully engaged and to develop and rear are child to love the Lord with all his heart, soul, body, strength and mind.  We are also told to teach them to love their neighbor.  When we mentor - we sacrifice our valuable time.  We choose to put others (serve others) before we serve ourselves.

All throughout the Bible we see countless sacrifice of mentors, leaders, fathers and disciples keenly aware of the cost (even in their fears and weaknesses), but they all have Faith.  Jesus was unquestionably the greatest example for mentoring others - he walked with his disciples for 3 years with patience and tolerance and even when they still didn't get most of what he was saying - God knew that they had so much more in them - the Holy Spirit to do his Kingdom work and not theirs.

Less of me, more of God!  That is the posture I will take more often than not!

Your thoughts?

Dante

5 Reasons why it is worth having kids...

The top 5 Reasons why it is worth having kids:#5     You see everything for the first time again through the child's eyes — even the littlest of things are amazing.

#4     The meaning of life, the importance of life and the extravagance of life are all rolled into this little gift from God.

#3     We get to enjoy the miracle of child-bearing and the role of parenting...

#2     No matter how much pain and grief our kids cause us, we are reminded daily (hourly and by the seconds) just how much God loves us no matter what (God's love never fades, never runs out on us)

#1     We begin to understand just how much God loves us!

Balancing act of church and sports with kids...(not just a fan)

WARNING:  The following words may offend you.  The following statements may anger you.  The following statements may wound you.  The following statements may make you say, it is about time someone said this.NOTE: The disclaimer you just read is for your health benefit and for mine.

An excerpt from Andre Agassi (World Champion Tennis Player):

"I play tennis for a living even though I hate tennis, hate it with a dark and secret passion and always have." "Agassi poignantly recalls a telephone conversation with his father after winning Grand Slam title No. 1 at Wimbledon in 1992. Dad's initial reaction? "You had no business losing that fourth set," Agassi writes." "Plenty, it turns out. Excerpts of Agassi's upcoming autobiography published Wednesday by Sports Illustrated and The Times of London contain graphic depictions of his use of crystal meth, an account of how he wriggled his way out of a suspension by lying to the ATP tour after failing a 1997 drug test and the jarring contention that he always hated tennis "with a dark and secret passion" because of his overbearing father."

At this point, you may be saying, "so what is your point?".  Have you ever heard of the phrase, "the devil is in the details?"  I think that that is very relevant to my topic.  I don't want to offend, nor do I want to tell you how to live your lives, but I hope and pray that this gives you something to think about.  That being said, I want to ask you when we as a society said that it is okay to let idolatry take over our call to be disciples of Jesus Christ?

Let me put it this way.  Some where in time we thought that sports, technology, television, work and your hobbies are acceptable before prioritizing God.  Take sports, for instance, year round travel league clubs, sporting clubs and the hustle and bustle of "you have to do this if you want your kids to move up and be considered for the next best thing".  You have to get the latest APP if you want to be in the know and relevant.  You have to do this and you have to do that.

Seriously?  Let's put this in perspective.  I am writing this not to condemn you the reader, but to give my life a reality check.  I want to have my children own my faith.  I want my children to love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, body, soul and strength.  I want them to own that before anything else in their lives (gymnastics, piano, Star Wars, books, art, crafts, games, and so on).  I want them to have that modeled to them by their mom and dad.

There is a book, by Randy Frazee called, "Making Room for Life'  It is a good read and I would have sub-titled it, "Making Room for God".  Because, at the end of our lives, does it really matter what game our child won, or whatever I did that did not include God in my service (worship)?

At the end of the day, what should really matter to us?  Solomon, in all his wisdom, talks about life and our lives, "we are but a vapor."  When we put things into perspective, and if we really give an honest answer, how much of our time does God really have?  Be honest, do we squeeze him in for an hour on Sunday and 7 days worth of 15 minutes each day of prayer?   Less then?  More then?

Are you a fan or are you a follower of Jesus Christ? Revelation 3:13-15

¹³ Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

¹⁴ “To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. ¹⁵ I know your deeds,that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!

Are you willing to finish the race that Jesus Christ has set before you?

to be a follower!

What about you?

Thoughts?

Dante

How divorce affects a Christian family

There are God’s ways, which are good for the soul and brings us the abundant life.  And then there are the worldly ways, which separates us from a Holy God and causes us pain and suffering and death.  God’s ways are not man’s ways. Malachi 2:10; Malachi 2:13-17 (New International Version) 10 Do we not all have one Father[a]? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another? 13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.[a] So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”[b] says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful. 17 You have wearied the Lord with your words. “How have we wearied him?” you ask. By saying, “All who do evil are good in the eyes of the Lord, and he is pleased with them” or “Where is the God of justice?”

Reading this over and comparing with the Mathew 22, we can conclude that God hates divorce.  Simply said, God hates sin, any kind of sin because he is a holy God.  Without his son Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, we have no hope of Salvation.  We sin all the time!  We cannot help it – it is in our nature.  But that is not an excuse because for all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God.  So what are we to do?  What hope do we have when we sin?

I have seen the affects of divorce on a Christian family.  Believe it or not, the statistics of the divorce rate are equally impacting the Church as it does in secular world.  Divorce is a consequence of sin.  It is when we put our needs in front of God’s plan.  Please don’t condemn me by that statement.  I have seen the impact of divorce on both sides of the spectrum.  Meaning one parent who is godly and wants to be in God’s will while their spouse is unrepentant (either cheating or all other sorts of wrongdoing) and the other side of the spectrum where the couple, for whatever reason, has given into the concept of divorce and slowly come back to repent to God and in some cases have re-married to a godly person (after repentance and after working through that season, of course).

Please do not misunderstand what I am trying to say in the last part of the paragraph, God hates divorce (God hates sin), it is contrary to his will.  When I sin, I am convicted by the Holy Spirit (who dwells in me) and I am caused to repent and ask forgiveness and to ask the Lord to guide and strengthen me through these trials and tribulations.  Therefore, the same thing can occur in divorce.  We sin, we repent, we draw nearer to God and we are redeemed through our Savior’s blood.

The affects of divorce on a Christian family can be devastating if you have one parent still under the will of God and the other contrary to the will of God.  An article from Focus on the Family, has some points for us to consider:

Research comparing children of divorced parents to children with married parents shows:

Children from divorced homes suffer academically. They experience high levels of behavioral problems. Their grades suffer, and they are less likely to graduate from high school.

Kids whose parents divorce are substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing a crime as a juvenile.

Because the custodial parent's income drops substantially after a divorce, children in divorced homes are almost five times more likely to live in poverty than are children with married parents.

Teens from divorced homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use, as well as sexual intercourse than are those from intact families.

Before you say, "Not my kid," remember that the children and teens represented in these statistics are normal kids, probably not much different from yours. Their parents didn't think they would get involved in these things, either. Again, we're looking at increased risks.

A few more statistics to consider:

Children from divorced homes experience illness more frequently and recover from sickness more slowly.

They are also more likely to suffer child abuse.

Children of divorced parents suffer more frequently from symptoms of psychological distress.

And the emotional scars of divorce last into adulthood.

If you don’t believe this points above, then simply turn on the TV, read a newspaper and reason for yourself from the “experts” of this world and their hypothesis versus the Truth in Scripture and God’s will for our lives.  Before we try and fix the symptoms of Societies ill by trying to treat it with topical applications (Gun Control, Take Prayer out of schools, Do what experts say versus what God’s will is, and so on), look at the violence, the brokenness and the hurt that is all over this world from a torn and fractured society.  This world is spinning out of control.

Looking up www.dictionary.com we find di·vorce  [dih-vawrs, -vohrs] defined as:

1. a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part, especially one that releases the marriage partners from all matrimonial obligations. Compare judicial separation.

2. any formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom.

3. total separation; disunion: a divorce between thought and action.

verb (used with object)

5. to break the marriage contract between oneself and (one's spouse) by divorce: She divorced her husband.

6. to separate; cut off: Life and art cannot be divorced.

In my opinion divorce sucks!  It is not easy for either spouse, it is contrary to God’s will for our lives.  We still sin, divorce is a sin, so it happens because we still sin.  So now what?  What can we do about it after the fact?  What can we do after the spouse has had multiple affairs, is caught, is unrepentant and gives the wife no other choice (or the husband)?  The marriage covenant is broken, sin has entered the marriage bed and the covenant is broken (grounds for a divorce).

So now what?  What can the parent, who fears God and who loves God and believes in His word (the Bible) as the true words of God do when their spouse is still wallowing in the mud and unrepentant of their actions and sins?

Take these following action steps:Read Here:   Colossians 3, Romans 12

Pray:            Pray continually

Let go:         Let God (he loves your children and he has good plans for those who fear and love him)

Put:             Put healthy relationships in your kids lives (let them see healthy spouses and families working) – encourage them to coach your children and to mentor them.  Pray for these relationships for your kids.

Trust:           Trust God – he loves you!

Your thoughts?

Dante

How Jesus Christ can impact fatherhood...

Lance had shared with me that our readers wanted to hear our thoughts on various topics.  This subject fascinates me because there is a wealth of knowledge given to us by our God through his Son in His Word.There are so many things in life that fascinate me.  Sometimes I feel like a kid in a candy store just for living on this earth.  I love movies, books, nature, hiking, running, riding, sports and so on.  I love to read, to write, to compose songs and to love my family and friends.  There are things in this life that can take up all of my time - if I let them.  And then there are situations, like the Boston Marathon, that bring me yet a step closer to realizing nothing else matters except my relationship with God's Son - Jesus and my family (who calls me husband and daddy).  

Unfortunately, there is a father who lost his 8 year old son and the rest of his family is injured badly due to the ignorance of two very young and dumb and misguided individuals.   Woe to you leaders who teach violence and destruction and things that our contrary to our Father's will (this will be another topic for discussion - later).  This breaks my heart and I have to be completely honest and tell you that I spent even more time kissing and hugging and playing with my kids this past week.  And praying, a lot of prayer.

Recently I had a young man email me a word file about marriage and fatherhood.  (Note:  He is not married, but is single).  We have been having a dialogue back and forth about the roles of husbands and of fathers.  I gave him a book by Derek Prince, Husbands and Fathers.  I highly recommend this book.  Derek highlights the importance of a covenant.  Marriage is key to a man becoming a husband and then he can become a father.  Before he becomes a father, there has to be a covenant.  Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman! (period!)  No lasting relationship can begin without a covenant.  Proverbs 2:17.  Malachi 2:13-14. 1 Peter 3:7.  The theory here is that God confides in those who fear him (Psalms 25:14), that is, he makes his covenant known to them.

There are 5 things that a husband is commanded to do:1) Love our wives 2) Be the Head of the household 3) Provide for your wife and your family 4) Wash his wife and family by teaching the Bible to is family and 5) Nourish and Cherish his wife and family.

Jesus Christ completely and utterly impacts fatherhood by what we read in Ephesians 5.  Just as Jesus died for the Church, we (Husbands and Fathers) need to die to our wives (family).  Repeat after me, "Less of me, more of God."  Again, repeat, "Less of me, more of God.".  That being said, what can we glean from Ephesians 5 & 6, Deuteronomy 6 and so much more in Proverbs and Job and Mathew and so on.  Simply said, as for you and your house - who will you serve this day?  As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

If we die to ourselves and decide to follow God's ways and not our ways, then we completely find the abundant life that he promises to those who love and fear him.

Contrary to culture of today, God has a plan.  God has a way (through His Son only) and God calls us to be His.  You see, Jesus obeyed his father's will.  Jesus suffered and died on the cross because that was his Father's will.   That all of our sins can and will be forgiven forever.  Because Jesus has integrity, has character, compassion, love and so much more, we can be saved from our sinful pasts.  There is no great friend than the one who lays down his life for others (for family).  We are adopted sons and daughters into God's family because of His Son.

When we embrace these truths.  When we listen to the Holy Spirit in our lives.  When we don't just hear the words of God, but do what they say, then we are transformed and are able to work the good that God the Father has in store for us through Jesus in us.  Through His Spirit guiding us.

When the Pharisees tried to trap and trick Jesus, they asked him, "Rabbi, what is the greatest commandment."  Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength...and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself."  All the other commandments hang on this.

Is there a better example for us, as Legacy Dads, then to die to self.  To radically change the way we live and let God live through us.  If we decide to love our wives and our children as we love ourselves (or better if need be)...then imagine what God has in store for you...

"If you believe what you like in the Gospel, and reject what you don't like, it is not the Gospel you believe, but yourself."  - St. Augustine of Hippo

Thoughts,

Dante

Top 10 Secrets For A New Dad

#1           LOVE YOUR WIFE (NO MATTER HOW BIG SHE GETS) AND IF SHE ASKS IF SHE LOOKS FAT – SAY “NO”!!!#2           TALK/SING TO THE BABY WHILE TOUCHING YOUR WIFE’S BELLY

THIS HAS PROVEN TO ME THAT LIFE BEGINS AT CONCEPTION. I MADE UP SONGS FOR ALL 3 KIDS AND WHEN THEY WERE INCONSOLABLE AFTER BIRTH I WOULD SING THESE SONGS TO THEM AND THEY WOULD IMMEDIATELY CALM DOWN

#3           TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AS PROPHET, PRIEST AND KING – SHOW YOUR WIFE (THE NEW MOTHER) THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE AND BE THERE WHEN SHE IS INSECURE.  PROVE TO HER THAT YOU CAN LISTEN, YOU CAN CARE, AND WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH, SHE CAN LEAN ON YOU

#4           DON’T STOP DATING YOUR WIFE.

AFTER SHE GIVES BIRTH AND HEALS TAKE HER OUT AND GIVE HER LOVE AND ATTENTION.  BE ATTENTIVE TO HER NEEDS AND DESIRES.

#5           ASK FOR BABY TIME ALONE

THERE WILL COME A TIME WHEN YOUR WIFE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS GOING TO EXPLODE (OVERSTRESSED, OVERTIRED, AND NERVES FRIED).  TELL HER THAT YOU WANT ALONE TIME WITH THE CHILD AND MAKE HER LEAVE THE HOUSE (TELL HER TO GO SHOPPING, DO HER NAILS, READ A BOOK, TAKE A BATH) AND TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD.  THIS WILL CREATE A HEALTHY BOND BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR CHILD AND STRENGTHEN THE BOND BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR WIFE.  WHEN SHE RETURNS YOU WILL SEE THAT “CRAZY LOOK” VANQUISHED.

#6           GIVE HER TIME

SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A CHILD OF YOURS.  DON’T BE SELFISH AND TELL HER WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS.  FILL HER NEEDS.  LOVE ON HER (WITHOUT EXPECTING BENEFITS).  MASSAGE HER FEET, HER BACK AND PAMPER HER.  WHEN HER BODY IS READY – SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW.

#7           BE A DAD, A FATHER AND A PARENT – NOT A BABYSITTER.

GOD HAS BLESSED YOU AND YOUR WIFE WITH A CHILD (NOT EVERYONE HAS THAT BLESSING).  BE ATTENTIVE.  BE A NURTURER.  READ BOOKS ON DAD (AN EXCELLENT BOOK IS BY DEREK PRINCE, “HUSBAND & FATHERS).  MAN UP!

#8           YOUR WIFE IS NOW CARRYING AND FEEDING TWO.   HER HORMONES ARE ON OVERLOAD.  ONE DAY SHE WILL BE GLEEING AND HAPPY AND OVER EMOTIONAL AND THE NEXT DAY SHE WILL LOOK AT YOU LIKE SHE WANTS TO HIT YOU WITH A FRYING PAN ASKING WHY YOU DID THIS TO HER BODY.  BE STRONG AND COURAGOUS.  BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR MANHOOD AND DON’T TAKE HER PERSONAL – SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE MEANS!

#9           DON’T FORGET #1 AND #8 AND START TO HELP AROUND THE HOUSE.  VACCUM, DISHES, CLEANUP AND FINISH (HELP AND PAINT AND DECORATE THE NEW BABY’S ROOM.

#10         REALIZE WHAT GOD EXPECTS OF FAMILY.  READ EPHESIANS 5, DEUTERONOMY 6 AND COLOSSIANS 3 AND ROMANS 12….WHEN IN DOUBT, PRAY! ALWAYS PRAY AND AS A REMINDER VERSE READ 1 PETER 3:7.

WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 10?

Dante