Testing your faith...

This week has been both trying and testing for me, that is, emotionally stressful.  I have found myself in a long trial.  With accountability in my life, I was told that it would be prudent for me to stand the test and hold my integrity (more about this in another post).  I have also been contacted by brothers (and sisters) that have prayer concerns:  One is in home hospice with terminal cancer; another brother is asking for prayers as his wife is diagnosed with a type of cancer that can be treated, but can also be very serious.  Another brother is asking for prayers for his marriage. There are clearly a lot of trials and tribulations that are in each of our lives daily.  I know that I have talked about this before, but through these trials I am reminded of 3 and 4 years ago with my wife and I as we were faced with very serious health issues on her life (back to back years around this time of the year).  There was a point that I could have lost her and that humbled me greatly to lean not on my own understanding, but on God!  The book of Job was very near and dear to my heart and helped me through this time along with many prayers from people who love me!

This week, I prayed everyday for my spiritual brother and his wife.  I prayed with him and another brother this week and we prayed as a group of men after our men's bible study.  There is power in prayer.  There is power in the redeeming power of Jesus Christ.  This brother has come a long way in his faith.  He has grown tremendously.  He is serving in many ways and he is growing with his wife even more through serving.  He gets it!  It is not about us and what we can get, but it is about God and what he gives us (Spiritual gifts) to serve and to love one another.  His world is wrecked right now, as mine was with my wife in the hospital 3 and 4 years ago, but he holds not to his own understanding, but he holds to biblical truth!  He is a man who loves God and will finish well!

This week, I also visited my spiritual brother who is in home hospice and read Scripture to him (Psalms 91) and prayed with him.  If you met this man, you would see spiritual maturity and a humility of a righteous man.  He said to me that he was not afraid to die.  He was looking forward to his heavenly home.  The one thing that did sadden him, greatly, was that he would be leaving and terribly missing his loved ones (both biological and spiritual family).  He is a man of God and a man who loves like Jesus loves.  Believe it or not, it made me proud to know this man, who could look at death's face and show no fear knowing that our Savior Jesus Christ conquered death.  Now that is a life insurance policy that we should all strive to keep with fear and trembling in our daily walks.

In James 1, we read, "Testing of Your Faith, ² Count it all joy, my brothers,^[b] when you meet trials of various kinds, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ⁶ But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. ⁷ For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; ⁸ he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. ⁹ Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, ¹⁰ and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass^[c] he will pass away. ¹¹ For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits. ¹² Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. ¹³ Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. ¹⁴ But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. ¹⁵ Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.  ¹⁶ Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. ¹⁷ Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.^{[d] 18} Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures."

This Thursday and Friday my kids participated in a winter choir and orchestra concert for 3 performances.  After seeing this for four years, I was humbled by this performance.  The kids (from all ages) sang songs through our journey, our spiritual walk.  Three of my favorites were the Books of the Bible, Hallelujah Chorus and the song at the beginning of this entry.  In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

When I die, there are two songs that my wife and kids know that I want played at my funeral:  1) It is well (click on this for the song) and 2) Blessed be your name (lyrics below by Matt Redman):

Blessed Be Your NameIn the land that is plentifulWhere Your streams of abundance flowBlessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your nameWhen I'm found in the desert placeThough I walk through the wildernessBlessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour outI'll turn back to praiseWhen the darkness closes in, LordStill I will say

Blessed be the name of the LordBlessed be Your nameBlessed be the name of the LordBlessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your nameWhen the sun's shining down on meWhen the world's 'all as it should be'Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your nameOn the road marked with sufferingThough there's pain in the offeringBlessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour outI'll turn back to praiseWhen the darkness closes in, LordStill I will say

Blessed be the name of the LordBlessed be Your nameBlessed be the name of the LordBlessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the LordBlessed be Your nameBlessed be the name of the LordBlessed be Your glorious name

You give and take awayYou give and take awayMy heart will choose to sayLord, blessed be Your name

Finish well, trust and obey.

Thoughts?Dante

Forgiveness

for·give·ness  

1. act of forgiving; state of being forgiven.

2. disposition or willingness to forgive.

REFERENCE FOR TODAY's POST:

Ephesians 4:32

Colossians 3:12-14

Proverbs 19:11

We live in a broken world.  We live in a world today that destroys characters and integrity before one even has a chance to defend.  Between agendas, ideologies that are not of God's and wrath and anger between men and women, it is hardly a place for transformation and reformation.  However, when you read scripture on the story of God's love for us - Genesis through Revelation we find that God's way is counter-cyclical to man's ways, simply said, God's ways are not man's ways.  We are sinful, He is not, we are broken, He is Holy and perfect, we have baggage and bondage, He can free us from all of that.

I honestly can not sit here and tell you, the reader, that if you have been wronged, violated, victimized and abused, that you can simply just "get over it" and to move on!  That would be an impossible task!  As we cannot save ourselves from eternal damnation, we cannot fix ourselves either, or the brokenness.  However, I can confidently say this through Scripture:  Let go and Let God.  Whether you are a victim or the transgressor, there are two options:  1) hold on to the anger and the bitterness and the brokenness or 2) ask God to help you to either forgive the transgressor or to forgive you of your sins and not only accept that God will forgive you (through his son Jesus) and to repent and no longer keep on sinning.

Now before you chastise me and say how can God forgive that person for what he's done or she has done or what they haven't done and maybe they have just abandoned us or stopped loving us or hurt us in a way that seems like it can never be forgiven - think about this - the Bible tells us that the law of Moses (the Commandments) were set to condemn the sinner, that is, if we are guilty of one of the commandments, then we are guilty of them all!  Jesus did not come to replace the law, but to fulfill it.  What I am trying to say is that WE ARE ALL SINNERS!  I am not making excuses for the transgressor or the wrongdoer, if they don't repent and they have unforgiven sin, that is Jesus is not their Savior, then they have punishment coming to them.  But who are we to judge?  There is only one worthy:  Jesus Christ!  There is only one able to forgive:  Jesus Christ!  And there is only one willing to die for our sins (that is, he died and rose again):  Jesus Christ!

What happens when we don't forgive that person(s) for what they have done.  Does that do any good for our souls?  The Scripture that I referenced above gives us a way to begin this path = the path of Forgiveness.  Scripture tells us (doesn't ask us) to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us!  I cannot show you how to love the unlovable or to reach the unreachable.  But with God, there is nothing impossible.  Ask him today to show you the impossible.  Ask him to help you to clear the bitterness and to set a prisoner free.  The prisoner is you.  The prisoner is you because of the pain and anguish and suffering that you have put yourself through and maybe, just maybe others that try to love you because you cannot trust because of the pain caused by you (to you).  Do you see what I am trying to say?  Forgive as God has forgiven you.  To love as God loves you.

As we put on Jesus Christ, others will see less of us and more of him.  The gifts that our promised to us through his Holy Spirit will be unlocked and we will be transformed through Sanctification by the Blood of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit.  Remember this:  God loves you!  He suffered for you and took the pain of sin from you!  All you have to do is let go and let God.

Where do you go from here?  How do you start this process?  What if the person that I need to forgive has died or is in prison or cannot be found or reached to forgive?  The answer begins at prayer.  Pray right now and ask God to show you the way.  To give you the wisdom and discernment to both forgive and to protect you from the unlovable and unreachable.

Thoughts?

Blessing in 2013,

Dante

Reminds Me Of My Youth

Even though I love contemporary worship, one of the old powerful hymns from my youth always moves my soul.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLLMzr3PFgk

My Son's Legacy Journey: The End of Phase I - Update One

This week is an exciting week for me as my son is turning 14 years old and he is ending his first phase of my Legacy Dad Process with him.  You can also read The Foundation: What We Did From Ages 0-12 Part I, Part II and Part III  to get a better background and perspective on what we did to raise our children up until this point.During the past 2 years, my son has been reading a number of specially selected books that tell stories of courage, character and faith as well as teaching valuable life lessons.  After each chapter of a book, he would write in a special journal what the chapter was about and his own personal thoughts and reflections on the topic.  Also during these past two years, we have had a lot more candid talks on faith, life, manhood as well as a number of outings and special occasions that reinforce the traits he has been learning about.

He played on the football team and learned on and off the field the value of teamwork, loyalty and sacrifice.  He started dating his first girlfriends and as we taught him, went to meet each girls father on his own and explained his intentions to each one, man to man.  We spent a weekend in an abandoned mining town in the Oregon Mountains and came face to face with a mountain lion as well as spending a week climbing on Mount Rainier while building fires from scratch.  There were also numerous impromptu lessons that arose from life's simple quirks and turns and finally he is ready for his first personal test which will take place next weekend.  This test is still a secret to him and he will not know what it is until we are driving to it.

Once my son completes this first test, he will be given a special present to signify his passage into the next phase and presented with his first "letter" - a clue that will ultimately unlock the cypher box hidden in my steamer trunk. - Again see the Legacy Dad Process if you are lost here.

While I'll have tweaked this list slightly over the years, the following are the list of books my son read during these past two years.  Each one was selected to teach a specific character trait or life story.  While you can use this list in your own journeys with your own son's, I encourage you to tailor your list to his particular bent, interests and your own family story.  I'll be giving you updates throughout next weekend on our progress and his journey.

- Lance

Esse Quam Videri

12-14 Year Old Book List

The Lost Treasure of the Knights Templar - Steven Sora

The Lord of the Flies - William Golding

100 World Leaders Who Shaped World History - Kathy Paparchontis

The Case for Faith for Kids – Lee Strobel

Boys Of  Grit Series - Three Volumes by Wallace and Egermeir

A Young Man After God’s Own Heart - Jim George

Dismantled: An Honest Look at Some of Our Biggest Fears - Chad Norris and David Rhodes

Boyhood and Beyond: Practical Wisdom for Becoming a Man by Bob Schultz

Sua Sponte – Dick Couch

Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations by Alex & Brett Harris

The Red Badge of Courage - Steven Crane

The Tracker – Tom Brown

Reallionaire - Farrah Gray

Love Dare? Fireproofing your marriage!

From their website, "In the movie FIREPROOF, a couple dares to rescue their choking marriage from the flames of divorce and temptation using The Love Dare book as a guide. Now you can take the experience of the film one step further with your own copy of The Love Darebook. This daily devotional steers you through the fiery challenge of developing a strong, committed marriage in a world that threatens to burn it to the ground. The Love Dare personally leads you through daily devotionals, records your thoughts and experiences, and ends each day daring you to perform a simple act of love for your spouse. This 40-Day journey equips you to melt hardened, separated hearts into an enduring love that can withstand the flames of fear, pride and temptation.The Love Dare book will help you reinforce and enrich your marriage, earn back a love you thought was lost, and hear more about the One who not only designed unconditional, sacrificial love—He illustrated it.

In a world that attacks, devalues, and redefines relationships every day, learn how to rescue and protect your marriage from the firestorm. Take The Love Dare and FIREPROOF your relationship."

---

I have to admit, I am a skeptic on some of these movies and agree with Lance that these movie guys are borrowing from www.Legacydad.com and helping people in their walks.  Seriously, though, we are all taking biblical principles and trying to apply them to our lives.

On Facebook today, some posted this:  “When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. If you are not in a relationship now, remember this for the second (or third) time around. It's never too late.If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

----

Marriage is between two sinners.  We all have our baggage and pasts that we bring into the marriage.  Some of us, have really good stories and great childhood memories and some of us don't.  Needless to say, none of us are perfect.  We all need Jesus.  Successful marriages need to center Christ in their marriage!

I have had a few friends tell me that they have secretly done this book without telling their wives and have been blessed for it.  I personally, look for the Bible to guide and direct me, but I can tell you that I picked up this book and am doing this with another friend (he isn't telling his wife either) and I shared with him on day 9 or 10 of just how selfish I can still be after all these years.

I am a good dad and a good husband.  I like Lance's blog entry, The Law of the Lid, because for me it is NOT about being good enough - I want to be the best.  I want to hear the words from our Lord, "well done thou good and faithful servant!"  I hope and pray that I can be that accountable to reach that guy with my brothers (from Men of Faith, Lance & Gary).

Some websites to help you along the way:

http://site.themarriagebed.com/headship

http://www.marriagemissions.com/avoiding-emotional-adultery/

1 Peter 3:7 (ESV), "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you^[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Thoughts?

Blessings,

Dante

2013 Legacy Dad Bucket List

James 4:13-16 ESV “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.”Every one of us will have an appointed time to die and after that we will all face judgement from our Lord Jesus Christ.  This very fact got me thinking about a bucket list for 2013.  It is not so much as planning to die, but things that I really want to focus on in the next 12 months to come.  Things that I think are seriously important:

My Bucket List for 2013:1.       Read thru the Bible in a year

2.       Lead 12 people to Christ (at least one a month)

3.       Love my wife and family more and serve them more

4.       Buy a homeless person dinner

5.       Spend more time teaching, loving, training and hanging with my wife and three kids

6.       Mentoring

7.       Take random road “day trips” with my family

8.       Train and run for my third marathon

9.       Eat better, exercise more and make the wise choices

10.     Read more with my wife

11.     Grow deeper friendships

12.     Apply biblical truth every day to my life, my wife’s life and my children’s life (more family devotions).

What are some of yours?

Blessings in 2013,Dante

----

Happy New Year,

Dante, Lance & Gary!!!