Accountability, Integrity, Men's Groups and more

We are Men of Faith.  I would like to tell you about a special group of men that started over 6 years ago.  The original six men came back from a men's overnight retreat and decided that they wanted more out of this special weekend.  They decided that they would meet early Saturday mornings from 6:30am to 8am.  The reason for the time was that it would put them back home early enough for their wives (families) and they wouldn't miss the whole day with family.  This original six decided to do the right thing and invite more men to this group, who invited more men to the group and so on.This special group started out by reading Scripture, talking about real life issues and praying together.  In some cases, they even helped guys who weren't comfortable in praying out loud to pray together as a community of believers.

Over the years, this special group has expanded into worship (there is nothing like a group of 25 to 40 guys singing with a guitar and worshiping the Lord).  We start the morning out now with songs, prayer, bible study and a lively discussion.

What this group is:  1) A safe place (what is said in there stays in there) 2) A place for life transformation (that is, we have a simple formula:  Pray, Sing/Worship, open the Bible and then the Holy Spirit does the rest).  3) A place to find accountability, mentors, and friends to carry your burdens.

 

What this group isn't:  1) A place for gossip 2) a place of disunity and discord 3) a social club.

What are you missing?  I guess what I am asking to all of our readers is this:  Are you meeting with other brothers (a men's group), accountability partner(s), a mini-church?  Are you reading your word daily and spending quiet time with the Lord?  Are you allowing the Lord to have your entire life or are you separating only what you want to give him? 

I would strongly encourage you to seek, serve and get involved in men's group (mini-church) near you.  I would encourage you to start one (with approval from your church leaders) and do exactly that (Open the word, sing, pray and yield to the Holy Spirit).

It is transformational!   What are you waiting for?

Dante

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly...

Often times I find myself in hills and valleys and sometimes both in the course of a day given that we live and work in a world that is fading.  Sometimes when I catch myself feeling low and or isolated I start to think on things that are Kingdom minded.So many times we read about self help books and ways to make ourselves better.  Somewhere along the line I think we miss the true element of Christianity - It is all about Jesus! He is the way, the truth and the life and that no man can come to the Father but through Him.  For all have sinned and come short...

I used to be very annoyed about the Apostle Peter.  I mean, seriously, he walked with Jesus and was a trusted friend.  I mean, after all, Jesus said to him, "Peter, upon this Rock, I will build my church."  Then I start looking through the Bible and realize that all men are sinful and come short of the glory of God.  Let's take a look at Peter's life:

THE GOOD:  Mark 8:27  And Jesus went on with his disciples to the villages of Caesarea Philippi. And on the way he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” 28 And they told him, “John the Baptist; and others say, Elijah; and others, one of the prophets.” 29 And he asked them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter answered him, “You are the Christ.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE BAD:  Mark 8:31  And he began to teach them that the Son of Man mustsuffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. 32 And he said this plainly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 33 But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”  

THE UGLY:  Mark 14:26  And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. 27 And Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away, for it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ 28 But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.” 29  Peter said to him, “Even though they all fall away, I will not.” 30 And Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.” 31 But he said emphatically, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And they all said the same."  Then you know the rest of the story...he did exactly as Jesus predicted.

 

 

 

THE REDEMPTION & HOPE OF JESUS:  

Acts 2:14-41

English Standard Version (ESV)

Peter's Sermon at Pentecost

14 But Peter, standing with the eleven, lifted up his voice and addressed them: “Men of Judea and all who dwell in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and give ear to my words. 15 For these people are not drunk, as you suppose, since it is only the third hour of the day.[a] 16 But this is what was uttered through the prophet Joel:

17 “‘And in the last days it shall be, God declares,that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh,and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,and your young men shall see visions,and your old men shall dream dreams;18 even on my male servants[b] and female servantsin those days I will pour out my Spirit, and they shall prophesy.19 And I will show wonders in the heavens aboveand signs on the earth below,blood, and fire, and vapor of smoke;20 the sun shall be turned to darknessand the moon to blood,before the day of the Lord comes, the great and magnificent day.21 And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.’

22 “Men of Israel, hear these words: Jesus of Nazareth, a man attested to you by God with mighty works and wonders and signs that God did through him in your midst, as you yourselves know— 23 this Jesus,[c] delivered up according tothe definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men. 24  God raised him up, loosing the pangs of death, because it was not possible for him to be held by it. 25 For David says concerning him,

“‘I saw the Lord always before me,for he is at my right hand that I may not be shaken;26 therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced;my flesh also will dwell in hope.27 For you will not abandon my soul to Hades,or let your Holy One see corruption.28 You have made known to me the paths of life;you will make me full of gladness with your presence.’

29 “Brothers, I may say to you with confidence about the patriarch David that he both died and was buried, and his tomb is with us to this day. 30  Being therefore a prophet, and knowing that God had sworn with an oath to him that he would set one of his descendants on his throne, 31 he foresaw and spoke about the resurrection of the Christ, that he was not abandoned to Hades, nor did his flesh see corruption. 32 This Jesus God raised up, and of that we all are witnesses. 33 Being therefore exalted at the right hand of God, and having received from the Father the promise of the Holy Spirit, he has poured out this that you yourselves are seeing and hearing.34 For David did not ascend into the heavens, but he himself says,

“‘The Lord said to my Lord,“Sit at my right hand,35     until I make your enemies your footstool.”’

36 Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain thatGod has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified.”

37 Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” 38 And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.” 40 And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation.” 41 So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls.

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What I find interesting here is that even after our most ugliest moments in life, when we have the love of Jesus and the salvation and redemption that only comes from him, then great things can still happen to all of us.  That is, when we submit and obey to God's will in our life, then He will use us for his kingdom purpose(s).

Now for the rest of the story:  Peter's life was good, bad and ugly.  But he had at least one moment (and many more as he grew in wisdom, humility and obedience).  He was instrumental leader and well respected in the church of Jesus Christ.  He was a faithful giant among the saints.  Jesus saw something in Peter that Peter didn't even know existed.  Jesus believed in him and loved him and redeemed him and grew him through the power of the Holy Spirit.

There is a hope for each and everyone of else.  Do you believe?  Will you submit and obey?  Will you allow God to lead you in his Kingdom will?

Dante

Forgiveness....(excerpt from Dr. Gary Chapman)

The question:  Who is our model?The answer:  God

Scripture:  Ephesians 4:17-24; 1 John 1:9

What is forgiveness?  To pardon or to take away.  Psalms 103:12 states, "as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us."  Note:  Forgiveness is a godly response to pray.

What forgiveness does not do:

1) Does not destroy our memory

2) Does not remove all painful emotions (What do you do with memory and pain - take it to God)

3) Does not remove all the consequences of Sin (references to Moses & David)

4) Does not rebuild trust.  (Note:  To rebuild make your life an open book (have accountability in every aspect of your life)

5) Does not always result in reconciliation

What if the person who sinned against you does not speak your apology language?

-By making you question their sincerity

-By faith, you choose to forgive them

What if the person does not apologize?

1) We lovingly confront them (Scripture Mathew 18:15-17; Luke 17:3-4)

2) We release the person to God (give it to God) (Scripture: 2 Timothy 4:14-15; 1 Timothy 2)

3) We pray for them and stand ready to forgive them (Scripture: Luke 23:34; Acts 2: 22-31)

4) We return good for evil (Scripture:  Romans 12:19-21)

We make forgiveness a priority in our lives by making it personal:

1) Whom do I need to forgive?

2) Whom do I need to lovingly confront

3) Whom do I need to release to God?

4) Whom do I need to apologize to?

Take a self exam for items 1 through 4:

 

•1 John 1:5 Walking in the light "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."
•If we claim to have fellowship with Him, yet we walk in the darkness, then we lie and do not live by the truth."

How honest do you want to be?

Dante

The Grace of Anger, from Dr. Gary Chapman

The Grace of AngerFrom Dr. Gary Chapman

Ephesians 4:17–32 ~ The Grace of Anger

I.  “You have not conceived of anger as being a gift of God to us but I believe it is.  I think anger is the most misunderstood emotion and it is certainly the most mis-managed human emotion.”

“Every human you will ever meet will experience the human emotion of anger.”

1) What is the Source of Anger? ~ Anger is rooted in the Nature of God 1 John 4:8 ~ God is love, 1 Peter 1:16 ~ God is holy therefore the Scripture teaches that God is angry every day with the wicked (Psalm 7:11). The Scriptures never says God is anger but they do say that because God is love and God is holy He experiences anger every day.

Why Do We Experience Anger?

Because we are made in the image of God and we have a concern for righteousness and justice.

(Gen. 1:27)

2) What is the Purpose of Anger?

It is to motivate us to take constructive action. All great social reform was born out of anger.

God is our Model. How Does He Handle Anger?

a. God punishes the wrong-doer ~ (Rom. 12:19) Do not take revenge but leave room for

God’s wrath. 1 Peter 3:9 – He doesn’t take pleasure in that.

b. He announces impending judgment and calls people to repentance ~ (Jer. 3:12-13 & Jonah 3:9-10).

“He says if you continue in this road I am bringing judgment I am calling you to repentance and when you repent God’s answer has served a positive purpose.”

On the Human Level There Are Different Types of Anger:

a. Definitive Anger  ~ someone wronged you or someone else

Galatians 2:11-14  – “You and I encounter wrongs, people wrong us and we sometimes wrong other people. It is godly anger it is based on God’s nature and our nature.”

b. Distorted anger ~ when no wrong has been committed (Cain is an example in Gen. 4:4-7).

Naaman the leper, 2 Kings 5:9-12 – “Was his anger legitimate, the prophet told him how to be healed but he didn’t do it the way Naaman thought he should’ve done it. A lot of our anger is because people don’t do  things the way we  think they should do it and it’s not legitimate.”

“It is not a sin to forget.”

3) How Do We Process Anger?

a. Admit Your Anger (Ephesians 4:26) ~ being angry, sin not.

“It’s not a sin to feel anger. But people often sin when they are angry… They’ve picked up the idea that good Christians don’t feel angry.”

b. Restrain your initial response (Proverbs 19:11)

c.  Locate the focus of your anger ("Why am I angry"

1.  What wrong was commited?

2.  If it is "distorted anger" then confess your anger as selfishness (James     1:19-25)

II.  If you find yourself with distorted anger?

A. Have forbearance (Ephesians 4:2) Accept their humility.

1.  there are two types of persons

a.  Pointer (to the point - no explicit details)

b.  Painter (gives you every detail on the situation - from buildings, settings, scenery, etc.,)

B. If it is definitive anger then take constructive action (Luke 17:3-4; Galatians 6:1)

5 Signs of a healthy family, by Dr. Gary Chapman

In a healthy family, there will be…I. …An Attitude of Service (Scripture:  Ephesians 5 & 6).

5:22  Wives, submit to your own husbands; 5:25 Husbands, love your wives; 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right; 6:4 Fathers…bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  Service is a way of life as we do this out of reverence of God (Eph 5:21). 

Two Games to foster Service within the family:  Game #1:  Statement to instill service, “I really appreciate that.”  Response to statement, “And I really appreciate that…”  The purpose of this game is to have a heart of appreciation and gratitude.  This shows both love and respect for those that we serve.  Our family is most paramount.  That is, if we are not serving in the family, then how can we serve elsewhere effectively?  Game #2:  Statement to instill hope of service, “Do you know what I would really like you to…”  Response to statement, “I’ll try to remember that…”  Note:  This is not an expectation that you statement will be immediately acted upon.  Rather, it is to share what you would really like and the other would respond that they are hearing.

Service opportunities beyond the family:

1) Daily Sharing Time:  This could be done around the dinner table (or family devotion or before family game time).  Family member that served that day, “One act of service that I did today is…”  Have the family respond in a very positive way to encourage that service attitude.

2) Plan a Family Service Project (Scripture:  Colossians 3:23, Mathew 20:25-28).  Ideas could be to work at a food shelter, rake the neighbors yard (without getting paid – ask for permission first).  Help someone in need. Visit the sick at the hospital (nursing home and/or assisted living).

II.  …Intimacy between Husband and wife (Ephesians 5:31; Genesis 2:24).  Intimacy is much more than just physical.  Types of intimacy (men take note):

1. Intellectual Intimacy – this entails sharing thoughts, opinions and desires).  This does not entail putting the other down or dismissing their ideas as stupid or insignificant.  Rather, take the time to learn each other and grow with each other.

2. Emotional Intimacy – sharing your feelings

3. Social Intimacy – trips together, outings and dates (with and without the family).  Taking the time to invest in each other’s passions together (this does not mean that I have to knit and she has to golf or run…)

4. Spiritual Intimacy – (note:  Only 40% of couples that profess the name of Jesus pray together).  This takes time and may be uncomfortable for some.  Ways to build up to this is to share scripture together and thoughts on what spoke to you in that text (verse, chapter, book).

5. Physical Intimacy – sharing each other’s bodies. 

III.  …Parents will teach and train their children (Ephesians 6:4).  Two action steps are to:  1) Nurture – training by action and 2) Admonition – teaching by words.  Note that both of these actions must always be done together.  This two are always best done in the context of love.

IV.   …Husband will be loving leaders (context Ephesians 5 & 6).  Husbands are to be the Head, savior (be like Jesus as he heads the church. Husbands are to love and give to their wives (5:25-28).  Husbands are to feed and care for their wives.  Husbands are to leave their parents and become one flesh with his wife.  Husbands are to love and lead their children.

Husbands should not only be willing but to be able to ask these questions to their wives: 1) What can I do to help? 2) How can I make your life easier? How can I be a better husband to you?  Just think if the world could see every marriage in the Church of Jesus loving and serving each other – WOW!

V.   …Children will obey and honor their parents (reference Ephesians 6).  Obedience is a healthy word and a must in our daily walks as Christians.  This should be modeled to our children (they should want to own our faith…).  Steps that need to be instilled (taught and learned from our children) are:

1) Build respect

2) Build responsibility

3) Build character (Obedience comes before honor)

How do we teach obedience?  1) By our model.  2) Let them learn by letting them suffer the consequences of their actions.  Mom’s if you are always repeating 2 to 3 times for your child to act and they respond only on the third warning (when you come to them and change/modify their behavior).  The challenge is to take this 3rd action step to the first.  So let’s say little Johnny is up in his room playing and making a mess with his toys.  You (mom’s) tell him that you are making dinner and before he comes to eat, that his room needs to be picked up.  Instead of warning him once, twice and then coming up to inspect and correct the 3rd time, take the action step 3 and make it action step 1.  That is, “Johnny, I want you to get ready for dinner and have your room picked up when I call you when dinner is ready” (dinner is then made).  If the room is not cleaned (guess what) Johnny missed dinner, misses story time misses the privilege of obedience.  This is a lesson that they will learn not to repeat when they know that your first action step means business.  Let’s say Johnny is 16 and learning to drive and getting the car on Saturday and Sunday.  Chore:  Johnny before you take the car, the car must be washed no later than 12pm Saturday.  Saturday afternoon rolls around (and Johnny missed the 12pm deadline).  He asks for the keys to the car and lo and behold, you say, “I am sorry Johnny.  The rule was clear and precise.  The car was supposed to be washed by noon on Saturday.  You cannot have the car.  Let’s hope you don’t miss the deadline next week.  (Johnny won’t miss next week – he knows you mean business). 3) Teach obedience by rewarding obedience (Psalms 19:11).  Honor is caught not taught!

Homework assignment for you and your family:  Give a copy of I. thru V. and have each family member rate our family on each point from a scale of 0 (really bad) to 10 (really good and God-honoring).  Pick one to work on together...

More to follow,

Dante

Time with Dr. Gary Chapman

This past week was both a privilege and an honor to spend with Dr. Gary Chapman who is a noted writer who has written many books on love, marriage, children, anger and the like.  He was the special guest speaker this week at Maranatha Bible and Missionary Conference.  I took a lot of notes and have many posts coming following this past week.  Last night was particularly special for me as both my wife and I sat and listened to his concluding message on 5 points of having a great family.The reason why I really liked and connected with this man is because he puts it all out there.  That is, he is a lot like Lance in telling you exactly how it is and giving you both positive steps to take (that our God-honoring) and family honoring.  I look forward to posting on what I have heard this week and what spoke most to me.  What convicted me most and what made me smile through this.

If you are anything like the writers of this blog,  I think you will come away with some of the same conclusions that I did (or that you may take away from it).  I am really excited an cannot wait to blog about it (as soon as I organize my notes and unpack.

I hope you keep reading.  We also hope that you make some comments to us:  1) what are some things that you want to hear more of (less of), 2) What blogs speak most to you 3) How can we help (how can you help us?) 4) How are you serving (God? Family, Wife, Children, Work and Community?) 5) Anything else?

Looking forward to writing tomorrow!

Blessings,

Dante

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