Metro is Dead. Long live the Cave Man!

I was sitting in an office the other day and noticed a copy of GQ lying on a table.  As I picked it up, I noticed a primped and polished picture of Shia LeBeouf on the cover.   I asked the woman in the office if she thought these feminine looking, "Twilight" guys were attractive.  She said yes, if the guy is young and single. However, anyone over 27 trying to pull that off looks like a fool.  I scratched my scruffy beard and wondered if I was just too old to get it?  According to the article, the metrosexual man is dead.  For those of you who don’t keep up with this nonsense, myself included.  Here's the cliff notes:

The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis – because that's where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and spends his time primping and polishing his outward appearance in hopes of capturing everyone’s attention. Common activities of a metrosexual are body waxing, tanning, manicures and endlessly shopping for the latest fashions that are peddled by the fashion magazines.    

For some time now, old-fashioned (re)productive, repressed, unmoisturized heterosexuality has been given the pink slip by consumer capitalism. The stoic, self-denying, modest straight male didn't shop enough (his role was to earn money for his wife to spend), and so he had to be replaced by a new kind of man, one less certain of his identity and much moreinterested in his image – that's to say, one who was much more interested in being looked at (because that's the only way you can be certain you actually exist). A man, in other words, is a walking narcissist.

 Apparently society has come back to its senses and realized that young men today are far too feminine.  Where are the John Waynes and Clint Eastwoodsof the new generations?  I have noticed far too many boys today who would rather play Xbox 360 or some magical card game than go fishing or hike the face of a mountain?  The good news is that the pendulum seems to be swinging back the other way and hopefully landing somewhere in the middle.  Sorry ladies, the overly feminine man with perfect fingernails is starting to be replaced by a cross between Prince William and Moses!

 And speaking of Moses, celebrities like Zach Galifianakis, Brad Pitt and Joaquin Phoenix are all now embracing the old fashioned cave man look again, a good sign of the changing times. 

Pitt

Hangover

Phoenix

 

 

In all seriousness, I still feel, teach and try to emulate the etiquette and demeanor of the English Gentlemen.  A man must be refined, educated and cultured but also have the skills of Survivorman and be allowed to drink some beer with the guys during the Super Bowl.  TheModern Gentlemen is honest, lives a life of character and sets the example for others.  He is kind to others, especially woman and displays the utmost respect and courtesies in their presence.  Furthermore, he must have a noble cause to fight for, help the poor and the environment and provide for his family. 

How can one man do all this?  Do we need to buy a red cape and hang it in the closet?  

I think the easiest (and hardest) way is to simply follow the example and teachings of a radical Jew from Nazareth over 2000 years ago.  The times and styles may change, but the principles stay ever the same.

What's your favorite drink at Starbucks? Describe it. If you don't like Starbuck's what do you drink instead?

LEGACY AND MEMORIAL WEEKEND

I taught (as a sub) yesterday at a high school with a Marine Junior ROTC. My whole special ed class was in the “Junior Corps”. Draw no conclusions. But it gave me a chance to attend the unit’s field dress ceremony at the flag pole out front. Parents (too few) and teachers and administrators (too few) gathered.
And me. Thinking, remembering.
A retired Marine Corps Master Sergeant Harkin, in full dress blues, of course, gave the cadre a speech. Wow! Lean, trim, loud, he bellowed without a mic, “Your future is not up to the Corps, your parents, or your teachers…it’s up to YOU”. Their series of life choices, etc., etc. The regular rah, rah stuff. I felt like re-enlisting. Too old, hair’s too long.
But it made me think of legacy. And dads.
Harkin had a fascinating career, including embassies and battles here and there. He wrapped it up in a ten-minute package. He was my age, the end of the Vet (or Traditional or Silent) Generation. He spanned four generations, Traditionals to “Me Gen,” in ten awesome minutes. He was a living legacy, Semper Fi. My undereducated, under-achieving class was hearing something that could change their lives.
In those moments Harkin paused for effect, that marvelous divinely designed mind kicked in. It took me to distant landscapes and thoughts fermenting in my head’s far recesses. I pictured those who served America’s freedom cause that I knew, that I longed to see again. Like my son and my brother. Then there was Chuck who never made it back to the carrier. Dan, the former Blue Angel, who was my wingman when one of the three Vietnamese pilots didn’t return home, and we did. But he “bought the farm” a couple of years later. So did squadron mate Tom who left a fiery hole in the ocean filled with aircraft parts and steam for but a few minutes.
Family trees are priceless for those of who are beginning to grasp how legacy is, in fact, central to life itself. It’s the same way history is suppose to guide our nation’s future, but seldom gets applied. Take note, dads. Do you know who up in your tree is one of those who knowingly offered his life’s blood that history would be different. That’s legacy lost if not remembered, memorialized. If that doesn’t work out so well, does his sacrifice in the Civil War, WW I or II, or even back at Bannockburn (my Cameron clan) touch your family at all? It should.
Somewhere in your tree is most likely a hero worth memorializing. This should include those injured or even who serve with honor and did return to take up life again, and give you life. Even so, what we’ve now labeled PTSD existed unrecognized yet still scarred those who saw and could not repeat the unspeakable.
Let us remember and give thanks.
And pass it on. Else, what’s a legacy if it’s lost.

Summer Fun

Summer has begun.  Kids are playing.  Neighborhoods echo of last minute ditch efforts for kids to play outside another hour.  Lemonade stands and children's imigination.  The day at the beach and the night eating ice cream.  The Chicago Blackhawks are in the Stanley Cup Finals.  Summer fun is here, our friends and what you do with the rest of it is your way to honor God.  Children playing has no better sound than laughter.  Kids_playing The pure unadulterated imagination of kids adventure amazes me to even this day.  I absolutely love the sound of happiness in whatever shape and or sounds they come in.  My children are so much fun to watch and listen to and to even play with.  I love the idea of how we look at our little children is sometimes (if not all the time) how God looks at us. 

As I am typing my son is walking inside wearing my shoes and is a solid sheet of sweat from playing outside with his two sisters.  My wife asked him to finish a verse, "as for me and my house...", my son finishes the verse, "we will serve the Lord."  Joshua 24:15.  Does that mean that we will serve him only on Sunday?  Or possibly between breakfast, the Sunday Service and then the trip to the beach?  Does it mean that we should try to put God in our imiginary boxes and pull him out of it whenever we decide that we need to hit the "easy" button or we want to try and elude the consequences of our sin?  Of course not.  What it really means is that our very essence, that is, our fiber and core shoudl serve the Lord.  Does that mean that we have to be religous and pious instead of being dad, or a faithful employee?  Does that mean that we cannot have fun in the sun and instead we have to do everything from sun up to sun down that would reflect the life of a monk?  Of course not.  

So what does it mean?  Kids_reading Come on, Dante, spill the beans.  What is God's will for my life?  Surely there has to be something better than this mundane life.  Surely God has called me to do something great that will turn the heads of this world and all will give recognition to me for serving the Lord.  Seriously?  Are we that full of ourselves that we think we have to achieve greatness on this earth in order to fulfill our destiny in the Lord?

What does Scripture say for our lives:  To share a few, "For He chose us in Him before the creation of this World to be holy and blameless in his sight...(Ephesians 1:4..).  "This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together in one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus." (Ephesians 3:6). "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers." (Glatians 6:9-10).  "Do not let any unwholesome talk talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen...Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and sladner, along with every form of malice.  Be kind a compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you...Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us...." (Ephesians 4 & 5).  "Whatever happens conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ..." (Philippians 1:27).  How about this one..., "Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.  Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God. (Phillipians 2).  Memorization009 As you look back at these verses is there anything in our lives that sticks out and that may be contrary to Scripture?  If you call yourself a seasoned Christian then read the Book of James and see how your walk measures up.  Is your Christian life become a life without works that honor the temple of God (that is your body) and his Name?  Is your life bearing no fruit (The Fruit of the Spirit).  Did you know that as a Christian we are called to be holy priests?  Did you know that we are to make our lives pure and blameless in the sight of God?  Did you know that God doesn't look at the outward appearance, but judges the heart.  Do you know that God is not in a box and instead of God answering to this World as some think that He should, INSTEAD all of us will given an account and kneel before Him.  Whether the Judgement we are in is either the Judgement Seat of Christ (Christians) or the Great White Throne Judgement (those who do not know Jesus as Lord)...time will tell. 

Maybe, just maybe, we are called to use our gifts in what God has promised us through His Holy Spirit to honor him.  Whether we are a cowboy, military or a commodities broker, one thing is for sure--in all that we do we need to honor Him and put him first.  That is, to say, to make Him Lord over every aspect and fiber of our lives.  If there is anything that you cannot be sure of in reading the above passages then the answer is simple - God's will for your life is found in obedience--reading his Word, praying daily and finding the quietness of His wonderful voice in devotion toward him.

Thoughts?

Just wondering,

Dante 
  

Humble yourselves....

Part of the joy of being a leader in Men's Ministry is that you get to be part of something very special and something that can only be explained by the power of the Holy Spirit.  This past Saturday, I was asked by one of our Facilitators to sub for him because of a personal emergency in his family.  I was more than glad to because I personally enjoy hearing men turn the pages of their Bibles as we open God's word for discussion and for lessons.  Anyway, my intention was to go into the book of Job and also some of the Psalms to talk about a valley (Trial & Tribulation) that I recently was delivered through.  However, I felt prompted, which I believe was by the Spirit, that I opened up the men's Bible studies to any questions, topics and/or themes that guys wanted to talk about.  

The first topic was about work, the second was about our walk and the third topic went right into trials and tribulations and we read some passages through both Job and Psalms and we had a very special day in God's Word.  What I truly enjoyed most about the morning was that there were over 20 guys who were there in collective Spirit to read, pray and sharpen one another in God's Word.

When we are obedient to God's words and we not only hear what they say, but make an effort to do those words and we repent and humble ourselves before our Holy God - he will  use a man like that making everyday things possibly extraordinary in God's Kingdom.

In all things, acknowledge our God and he will make your paths straight!

Donate them to a good cause, recycle them... What do you do with your old computers and phones?

ICING ON THE CAKE
Dante and I haven't had the fun of a deep theological argument. This electronic stuff has its limit. I remember back in Christian college and seminary days, it's what made me look forward to lunch in the cafeteria. I debated another long entry, so put this in two parts. The second is an example story about THE Story.
While it would be foolhardy to challenge Dante's deeply held convictions so wonderfully expressed, maybe we'll call this a "layer" to the cake of his disciplined practical theology. Something like icing.
Being a fan and friend of John Eldredge, I have a little icing to contribute. We must all, yes, take care to understand and practice the historic and biblical list of practices (and attitudes) that mark disciples. That in itself reduces the pew count from something like 300 down to 30 in the front row. You know, the guys who mostly show up for the Saturday men's group and some who lead home groups.
Still, we all tend to live outside THE Story, the one written long before time by the Triune Counsel. What we write, including the rigors of serious Christianity we struggle to conform to, is more likely our own story. Well, not a "story" exactly, but just chapters. More often just pages. I've been known to write up just my own paragraph and snap the suspenders of my faith in humble pride. Not much of a story, really, but it did have the conventional Bible memory, prayer, fellowship, and Christian service in the outline. Some of my best self-written stories were pretty puny despite looking mighty good to the undisciplined crowd in the pews around me.
No, I like His Story better, now that I have ventured beyond the rigors of best Christian practice. Lets' see, that's, ummm about--wow!--58 years of practicing. I still don’t have it down right. Again, it's only been the last ten of those years I've enjoyed adding a layer on top of these essentials. Shame to have the cake without the icing.
I think THE Story is much more about the heart, the one He redeemed, purified, and chose to reside in. I'm glad to find among my Christian friends so much of the "serious Christian stuff". I'm sad all they have is cake.
Remember the last time you were tempted to finger off the icing of a wedding cake when no one was looking? Whether too sweet, just right, or made you hanker for another snitch, the sugar high of a diet of icing can bring its own trouble.
The liability of a metaphor is overstatement. So, let me make it plain. Fluffy heart stuff is not nourishing; doesn't last, either. We do need to, as in MUST, know the Word of God, for it IS holy and customized by the Spirit for us. We must also "get it" as to what the Father wants of His gifts deposited in us, else service and blessing would be like icing alone, short and not worth much. Then there is that “no-no” list…cussin', drinkin', smokin' (cigars on the deck with a Christian comrade excepted), chasin' the chaste and un-chasted, and, of course, sneaking "X-peeks".
I used to keep a row of check-off boxes for both me and my disciples. Fortunately, I've forgotten most of the list. Sure, it all wears well in the fellowship of believers. But is your heart full of Him God He seeks. Both we and He long to enjoy those glorious moments of worship that confirms your intimacy with this Lord God Almighty Creator of Heaven and Earth. And we actually call Him Daddy? Too amazing.
So, cake and icing, discipline and holy heart-centered abandon. Or, maybe, on the back filler flap of your Bible we could identify two columns, not one: "Work and Worship," or "The Performance and The Walk". Just a thought. I used to have only one column there.
This is already a bit long, eh? Why stop here? I'll cut a piece from a portion of Generational Fathering I just wrote this morning. Seems to fit. "Nani" is Carolyn, my bride. It’s about legacy.

[Preceded by a Joyce Meyers quote, believe it or not, on a life’s legacy]
Yes, even sad stories are re-written by unearned grace. But, how much more fulfilling here and in Heaven to see such a reward as a result of our deliberate, disciplined intention to leave a legacy, not for our glory but for theirs and His.
My wife, that's Nani, was raised by what she heard and saw, like the rest of us. For reasons only God's mercy can account for, she burst out of the imposing force of the family version of classic Christianity, better called “churchianity”. The model was "all about (Christian) me" well before its current popularity. It framed her life with rotting wood. Generations of wealth and dominance of easily impressed Christian groups was the mold passed on from way up in the family tree. Her life became, somehow, about her very red Youth For Christ Bible hauled to every class on top of her books. That was NOT Christian cool. She tells it still today, a half century later, “I really cared about what God was telling me. I guess I’d say it was truly about Him.”
The imperceptible transfusion was a poisonous cocktail formulated in the church and passed down from a godly-appearing but self-centered father who doomed Carolyn's two sisters to an aggregate of nine husbands between them. It was a Christian "whatever". It was a "whatever it takes” to look happy, be happy, stay in control, and keep the faith without giving it away.
It was a legacy, alright: “Above all, be Christian” and get whatever I can—“for Christ and my family, of course.” It left a gene pool Genie, the magic of being the revered Christian leader who knows the verses and counsels with deep tones of piety.
Sure, the father was damaged goods. Aren't we all? He had a father that wasn't so hot. When that father who was to be Carolyn’s grandfather murdered himself, his wife, and his family—all but Carolyn’s father—it left a hole with no bottom, far larger than anyone can fathom. It explains the father's protection and isolation. And it left the tracks of generational sin in place until, for Carolyn, the curse of “grandfather’s bent” was broken. The potential of a legacy worthy of viewing from Heaven’s heights restored.

What is lacking in today's discipleship...?

As a leader in Men's Ministry I have found myself more in prayer and leaning on God's word daily.  I have come through a season in life that I would call, "Walking through the desert of persecution."  I have remained faithful to prayer and to daily Bible reading and instead of trying to change my circumstance, I instead changed MY ATTITUDE toward how I respond to difficult and trying situations.  Scripture is very clear when it tells us that those of us who are Children of God will (it doesn't say "May") BUT WILL face persecution.  

Thankfully, I have accountability partners in my life (not just my wife, but a few close friends who don't hold back in hold me to the fire) and they have given me wise counsel in difficult situations.  I am thankful for these people in my life and I am thankful for the Bible that is practical in the ways of righteousness and obedience to God's will.  

Through this season, this Valley, I have been made keenly aware that churches can tend to have a lot of immature spiritual babies who are still on the proverbial nipple and have yet to dig into the meat of the Bible and to move from Spiritual Immaturity into Spiritual Maturity.  In putting it in simpler terms: They need to move from milk to meat.  My pastor puts it in an even better way - moving from a pew sitter to a heavy hitter.  

I really don't put blame on anyone or institution for the immaturity of most believers.  Instead, I found the need even more important in today's context.  That is, to say, that we are in a world that continues to move even further away from God and does not rely on the very foundation of truth and biblical principles - if you don't believe me - do some research on some ivy league colleges in the US and our founding fathers of this great and wonderful nation.  

To put my thoughts as plainly and simply as possible - we need more disciples of Christ.  We need to grow the connected (those that are members of church and actively serving) and to have mentors (both men and women) teach the younglings (those who are spiritually immature - I don't care how old they are) how to move from infant to heavy hitter in the Kingdom of God (refer to Hebrew 5 & 6 to see where I am going with this).

I have posted before on three major themes that I continue to keep coming back to and that is: 1) Biblical Purity 2) Biblical Stewardship (which includes Contentment) and 3) Discipleship.  This is a call to arms to all of our brothers and sisters who read this blog.  If you are a Timothy - then found and pray for a Paul and a Lois & Eunice in their lives.  If you are a Paul and or an Elijah, then find a younger Timothy in your life and mentor them.  Prepare them and sharpen them as the Word of God calls us to do.  Teach the younger women to love their husbands.  Teach the young men to lead by their obedience to Christ.

More to follow,

Dante

TAYLOR'S WILD RIDE

With Mothers Day safely distant and Lance’s uplifting “Mothers and Wives” well digested, I can now tell this story.
It’s a week old, but my smile and the twinkle on my heart lingers. It’s a short story with a long ending, a Legacy Dad’s future ending. The players are Matt (dad), Taylor (son), and Steve (friend, burly professional outdoor instructor). This time Legacy Grand Dad (Gary) is but the remote scribe...but he was “there”.
Taylor is now 12years + 4 weeks. Yes, that week thing is important. Remember, he’s in his Year of Passage, his “manhood year.” Behind him already are his birthday hunting rifle (Dad’s money), a scope (his and Grand Dad’s money), an overnight, a couple of now regular Tuesday morning father-son breakfasts, a long mountain bike trek and a couple of seven mile runs (after which Dad passes out, Taylor does chores).
Utah’s a great place to raise kids, boys especially. Guess that’s why there’s so many of ‘em in Utah. The wonderland of Moab and Arches National Park is only a couple hours away. So, off they went, the three of them, bolting first out the church doors (usually the last of the chit-chatters), Mom and four siblings behind to make their way home with a fresh inch of snow on the roads.
Back story: Taylor is a spectacle-wearing brainiac (I claim the DNA source). Though he’s homeschooled, he’d be called “scrawny” by school bullies…until they see him wrestle. Great kid, excellent student, mostly good oldest brother, a real birth order oldest. He herds cattle, rides mountain bikes, hikes with family, that sorta stuff; hey, it’s Utah.
Late afternoon with majestic formations ready to take on their unforgettable sunset glow, the two men and the boy-becoming-man make camp hastily and pull out the climbing gear. This was not Taylor’s first equipped climb (the first one was ice climbing; in itself memorable). But , it was his first serious and guided climb; super-challenging . Hey, his mentors were pro wilderness and recreational therapists for a residential ranch.
Then comes Dad’s surprise. Two big guys and one little one were off, heading to a popular climbers’ prize face, a huge multi-faceted, multi-colored bluff (they called it, “Steep Stuff Bluff”). Up, up, and away; two supermen and a boy. This is where Dad’s telling of it takes on the rich overtones of one of those forever family stories. He climbed well and, strangely, the only one whose breath was not echoing off canyon walls. Tail-end Charley, Taylor was left to pull the pitons and anchors, safely rigged in the line. The big boys got themselves in a dead end crevice. Dang. As they re-routed (“backed down” doesn’t sound right, they were pros), Taylor headed off sideways to a new route. Dad and Steve froze. Not in fear, but in wonder. Taylor was making his way, precariously but safely, along the thin slice of sandstone protrusion using a technical move that actually had a name. Taylor didn’t know the name, but he had the move instinctively. It required high levels of “clever,” focus, determination, experience, limberness, and strength. Hand over hand, foot to knob, Taylor guided the guides to the top of “Steep Stuff”.
Dad and Steve knew boys; they’re pros. This one amazed them. “Scrawny” had become a little giant of a man. Racing the Sun’s fading glow down had less instruction than affirmation for the pair and their charge. Camp fire and a climber’s snack couldn’t come soon enough.
Next morning’s burritos in town was more like three men hanging out. The day ahead had a ten-mile mountain bike trek on tap. This is not ride around Central Park. It’s man-stuff; gullies, foothills, slot canyons, river beds, way up, way down. Half way, with five miles back to camp Taylor, calling a halt while he pulled cactus needles from his legs (breaking new trails always has risks), wondered if it was possible to make it back to camp and do a little more climbing.
Sometimes it will be the smallest comment midst a big adventure that brands a marker in our memories. I wasn’t there. Dad recited the conversation as if he were painting a mural. Bikes back in the truck, equipment out and re-rigged, the three found their way to the base of yet another challenging rock face. Taylor stepped back to let one of the big guys start up. “Hey there, big guy, you’ve earned your spot. You lead the way and I’ll follow my instructor.” That was burly Steve.
The story winds down as the men pack the truck for the return, but Dad describes the scene with his surprise and his pride still fresh. “Hey, Dad, this sleeping bag goes here, and I think the back pack will fit under the cooler.” The young man, now fully part of the team, has stepped up without permission to take charge of one small part of the world.
There’s a Legacy Dad idea we can all take away and ponder. Like they do us, we too oft take our children for granted. We have real lives as we work and socialize outside their view. The venture with Taylor outside the customary home setting (you know, chores, school work, family meals, outings), gave Matt a chance to see a son forming as man, a future Legacy Dad, in setting unconfined by routine. A wild man after God’s own creative heart was being honed in a way that won’t materialize behind the lawn mower. The imprint of the Passage was already deep…and it was not just on the son.

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