Developing Your Bucket List: Part 4

Casket

Congratulations, your dead. 

You now have the unique experience to attend your own funeral.  You will be there in Spirit and observing all the proceedings.

First, write down who will be there.  Who will be in attendance? 

Next, there will be a speaker in 5 areas of your life and they will come up and talk about each area of your life and what kind of person you were.  All your friends, family and colleagues will be in attendance and your funeral will be broadcast on cable for the rest of the country to see. 

Family

What kind of person were you with your family?  Did you spend enough time with them?  What memories will be spoken of?  What were your most admirable traits in regards to your family life?  Did your children look up to you?    

Friends

Next is your friends.  What kind of friend were you?  Did you listen and give sound advice? Were you there when you were needed?  Where you accountable?  Did you drop everything and answer a friends call?  Were you dependable?   

Work/Business/Activity

This speaker will talk about your work/business or other activity that you did.  How did you treat your colleagues?  Did you always act honorably?  Did you put the needs of others before your own?  Were you a team player?  Were you a hard worker?    

Finances

Next a speaker will discuss your finances.  How did you handle what God blessed you with?  Did you give back to God and his work?  Did you spend, hoard or multiply your talents?   Did you leave a blessing to your "children's , children"? 

Faith/Civic Organization

Finally is your involvement in your church and civic organizations?   Did you help out when you were needed?  Did you answer the call to teach others or lead a group?  Did you give to those less fortunate?  Did you witness to others?  Did you study and grow in your own faith? 

Take some time and write down what each speaker would say about you?  Write it how you would want to hear it.  Write it how you would like to see it in the major media outlets.

Next steps:  Time and Taking Action

   

Stocks for 08

I average about 30% or more per year in my investment picks (Since 2000) whichApple_2according to most experts is impossible.  Here is my picks for 2008 that I will track this year.

Al purchases were made on or around Jan. 15th

QMAR - $20.04
KRE - $32.79
DSX - $22.50
DSCI.OB - $0.84

Note that individual stocks account for only 10% of my overall portfolio, the other 90% is held in Index funds allocated according to Modern Portfolio Theory. 

 

Every Dad Leaves a Legacy - Good or Bad

Humor writer Dave Barry compiled a list of things it took him 50 yearsto learn. I have selected a handful of Barry’s observations.

1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compellingreason why we observe daylight-savings time.

2. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

3. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background,is that, deepdown inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

4. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

5. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human racehas not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that wordwould be "meetings."

6. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it tooseriously.

I am also a slow learner. But one thing I have learned in my journey isthat every dad leaves a legacy. The only question is whether thatlegacy will be good, bad, or indifferent.

Over the next few days I amgoing to write about some things I have learned about leaving a legacythat, hopefully, is good.

Being a father is tough because we generally learn how to parent whileon the job. From the “I can’t make this stuff up” department I foundthis attempt by a celebrity couple to “prep” for parenthood. HilarySwank and her husband Chad Lowe believed they were getting plenty ofparental practice before having a child of their own - by looking aftera pair of parrots.

The couple, who live in New York City, have faced constant questionsthroughout their eight-year marriage about when they'll be ready tostart a family. He says, "(Hilary and I) are very eager to have kids,and having parrots is great baby training.
"They need to be fed twice a day, they need love and support, and weteach them their ABCs.”

But I would suggest that the parrots are not a real complete course inparenting. For example…

Until you have had to walk the floor with a screaming parrot all nightlong…you still have a lot to learn.

Until the principal calls you in because your parrot is fighting withthe parakeets during recess… you still have a lot to learn.

Until your parrot spits up on your outfit as you are trying to leavethe house… you still have a lot to learn.

Until your parrots start picking on each other in the back seat of theSUV 30 miles into your 300 mile drive…you still have a lot to learn.

Until your parrot throws himself on the floor at the supermarket andturns red because you won't buy Count Chocula cereal…you still have alot to learn.

Swank and Lowe go on about their parrot training. They repeateverything you say. They love to pick up four-letter words, so youreally have to watch it. Luckily, we don't curse a lot."

ADD Detour…perhaps every church should invest in a parrot for eachfamily. And then they should rotate the parrots every six months. Thatmight kill the gossip virus in the church

Just took the medication and back on track…Ken Druck and James Simmonsin The Secrets Men Keep discuss six major secrets men have. At the topof the list is that "men secretly yearn for their father's love andapproval." This is often without their conscious knowledge that thisyearning manifests itself in the drive that many males have to provethemselves.

The authors say:
It may surprise us to know that the most powerful common denominatorinfluencing men's lives today is the relationship we had with ourfathers .... Of the hundreds of men I have surveyed over the years,perhaps 90 percent admitted they still had strings leading back totheir fathers. In other words, they are still looking to their fathers,even though their fathers may have been dead for years, for approval,acceptance, affection, and understanding.

This series is not about being a perfect dad. If it were, I would betotally unqualified to write it. This series is not about piling guilton you for mistakes made. I am not looking for the result like the boywho said to his preacher on the way out, "Boy, that was a good sermon.My dad slumped way down today." This series is seeing what God’s planis for leaving a positive legacy as an earthly father.

The first way to leave a good legacy is found in Paul’s letter to thechurch at Ephesus.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gavehimself up for her. (NIV, Ephesians 5:25) The translation in TheMessage says this.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ didfor the church--a love marked by giving, not getting.

The number one way to leave a great legacy for your children is verysimple.
Love your wife.

If you are already 0 for 1…or 0 for 2…hang with me. God is a God ofgrace and compassion. We will see how He can work even when the idealis no longer possible in upcoming posts.

The idea of marriage as an absolute commitment is an endangeredspecies. Actor Brad Pitt has confessed he knew his marriage to JenniferAniston would never last. He said in a recent interview that he neverexpected to be wed forever. He called his high profile break up as"beautiful". Pitt seemed frustrated about the public perception… "It'stalked about like it failed. I guess because it wasn't flawless." Nowcomes Pitt's wisdom about marriage. "Me, I embrace the messiness oflife. I find it so beautiful, actually. The idea that marriage has tobe for all time - that I don't understand."

Our culture has devalued marriage to the point where people enterrelationships on a trial basis with no expectation that it can last. Iwill guarantee you one thing…that mindset will make it far more likelythat it will not last. Had Joni and I shared that value we would be astat and our children would be from a divided home. Why shouldfollowers of Jesus believe that marriage is for all time? A report byWarren Mueller revealed that where both parents attend churchregularly, 72% of their children continue in the faith. Where only thefather attends, that percentage drops to 55 percent, but where only themother attends, just 15 percent of the children remain involved in thechurch.

Theodore M. Hesburgh wrote that the “most important thing a father cando for his children is to love their mother”.

Your children watch how you treat their mother. They WATCH … and theyare LEARNING and FORMING their concept of marriage from YOU. You arecreating a PATTERN, a BLUEPRINT for marriage with your children. Istruggled as a husband because I had not seen that blueprint in myparent's marriage. My Dad was a good dad but my parents did not have agood marriage. Joni and I had to break the cycle because she also camefrom a difficult family situation. Because we broke the cycle our kidshave seen a marriage that survived, and not only survived, is veryhappy.

But we had to do a lot of learning on the job.

Part of my preparation for this series was a survey of my three sons…Iknow…it makes you want to hum the music and do that thing with thehands and knees they did at the beginning of the show. I asked my sons3 questions and not one of them was “what is your quest”.

What were their favorite memories with me?

What did they learn from me as a dad?

And what do they wish I had done differently?

Yeah…that last question scared me for one major reason. My sons aretruthful. But I figured if I had done something really wrong in theireyes I wanted to seek forgiveness now. Plus I would have a writtendocument so if they turned up on Dr. Phil someday I can say I gave thema chance and they didn't say anything. Seriously, I thought theexercise would make them consider how they could be better fathersomeday…how they could break more cycles.

Our oldest son Matt wrote a little extra in his letter

And thank you for being committed to Mom.  It is a rarity to have afamily that is not broken.  But you gave up bigger things to make surewe stayed together and that has made all the difference. 

If you are still able to control this one move it to the top of yourlist. The first step to leaving a good legacy as a dad is to love yourwife!

See The Foundation of the Legacy

This article originally posted here

Developing Your Bucket List: Part 3

Wow, it's getting busy again and I apologize for neglecting my posts this week. 

Okay, 2 more steps and then we put the plan together.   

Your Perfect Day

I want you to imagine your perfect day...

What time do you wake up?
Where do you live?
Where do you work or spend your time?
Who is with you?
What do you drive?
What do you wear?
Who are your friends?
How is your relationship/marriage?
How are your kids?
What does your financial situation look like?
What are you doing that totally fulfills your life?

I want you to write out a short story about this perfect day of yours and describe in detail from the time you get up until the time you go to bed.  Include all your senses, what you see, hear, smell, taste, feel.  What are the colors? etc. 

While writing this perfect day, have your core values, things you like to do and people you like to be around next to you as you write. 

Go.

Don't Blink

I'm not a country music fan but lately I have been finding these songs that help me better understand my life and the precious time we have. 

This song further helps us understand our process of "Developing Our Bucket List"

Watch the video and let yourself think about your priorities in life and are we taking the time to really cherish the time we have. 

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyZOEJjjul0&rel=1&w=425&h=355]

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