[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS596VsNEOE&w=425&h=350]
Are Christian Fathers More Effective?
Hey, Dad, ever wondered if youhave what it takes to connect with your kids?
According to a study fromthe University of Virginia, if you've got a relationship with JesusChrist, you're already heading in the right direction.
"...evangelical dads spent more time with children playing, helping with homework and talking."
W.Bradford Wilcox, an assistant sociology professor, studied fathers ofchildren 5 to 18 years old. Evangelical Protestant dads came out on topor near the top in every category compared to fathers from otherdenominations and those with no religious affiliation.
According toWilcox's research, evangelical dads spent more time with childrenplaying, helping with homework and talking. They ate an average of 27more meals a year with their children and were more likely to coachyouth sports or lead youth activities.
"Evangelical Protestantfathers are very involved with their children, which I foundsurprising, given their tendency to embrace traditional genderattitudes," Wilcox noted.
So how can you defy society's expectations and become an even better dad than you already are?
•Watch a favorite TV show with your child. Ask him about the charactersand storyline. This is a simple way to enter your child's world andrecognize other influences that affect the way he thinks.
• Takeyour son or daughter to a restaurant you both like. Share favoritethings and talk one-on-one without the competing demands of othersiblings, phone calls or TV.
• Keep reading. Even tweens will enjoy reading a book aloud with you.
•Include children in projects. Ask them to help you string the Christmaslights, paint the basement or change the oil in the car. The teaching,connecting and fun will be invaluable.
• Know their friends. As children get older, knowing them means knowing their friends.
I found this post over at Dynamic Dads, check out Paul's site and what he is doing.
Grace In Action: Conversations with my kids
I wanted to share a bit of evidence of grace working in our parenting and how the Legacy Dad core principles when applied can really make a difference.
This past week I noticed two different instances, first with my son. At supper one night we were discussing what the children wanted to be when they grow up. My son proclaimed "I want to be a professional soccer player." I then asked why? My son replied "I believe this is what God wants me to do." I then asked him if he wanted to be a soccer player because he could make a lot of money and be famous? My son replied "That doesn't matter, it's about what God has planned for me." I probed further, I asked my son if he had a job that made little money and he really didn't get a lot of recognition, we that be okay? To this he said "If that is what God wanted then that would be what I would do."
The second instance happened when I was listening to my daughter and her friend talk about school. Her friend said "This girl at school is always copying off of my test." My daughter said "You should tell the teacher." The friend replied, "Well, nobody sees so it is not a big deal." My daughter replied "She is cheating and God sees, you should tell your teacher."
These little times are further evidence that I believe that we have chosen the correct path in the way we raise our children. The little steps now will pay big dividends in the future.
Wordless Wednesday: Petra, Jordan
Till Death Do Us Part
I often hear stories in my reading or on the radio and write them down to blog about them at a later date. This one has been on my list for a long time and it is time it came to fruition.
Robertson Mcquilkin served as the third president of Columbia University from 1968 to 1990. During those years, his wife Muriel was always by his side supporting him and many times sacrificing of herself for her husbands career.
I can relate to this very well. As a soldier, our wives are our strongest allies and many times carry the load and burden while we are training or out of the country. My wife is the strength of our house and keeps me going day to day.
Robert Proposed to Muriel on Valentines Day in 1948, they married in August the same year. The next three decades were filled with raising six children and serving God with many missionary trips. In 1968 the returned to the US and he became president at Columbia.
In 1981, Robertson started to notice something different in Muriel, her memory was not as it should be. After a series of tests and doctors, it was confirmed she had early Alzheimer's Disease. Over the next few years, Robertson watched as his loving, caring wife slowly faded away.
In 1990, Muriel's condition was worse and she needed someone for full time care, Robertson had a choice to make. He had spent his life serving God and building a fine career as president of Columbia, many men would have found a full time care center and continued to juggle between his life long career and his terminal wife. But not Robertson.
He decided to stand by his wife and commit to taking care of her full time until she had passed.
Please listen to
Robertson Mcquilkin's Resignation Speech (3346.0K)
After listening to his speech it is apparent that Robertson is not only a godly man and a man of honor but also qualifies as a Legacy Dad and Husband.
Robertson's inspiring story is captured in his book A Promise Kept. Robertson thought that leaving Columbia and taking care of Muriel was the end of his ministry but God had other plans. His story has spread and inspired many people to take a hard look at their priorities in life and what truly matters.
Robertson continued to serve and care for Muriel until her dying day.
One thing is for sure, in a society were the mainstream tells us marriage is simply a contract, It sure is great to have men who are willing to stand behind their vows and be an example for what all real men should do.
"In sickness and in health, tell death do us part."
The Heely Affair
A few weeks ago we made the journey to buy new shoes for the school year. The kids were so excited to get Heelys so we went to the local sporting goods store and spent a half hour looking at the different styles and trying on sizes to get the perfect pair.
Then my son spotted a skateboard. My daughter followed suit.
My kids pleaded with me and my wife to be able to get skateboards instead of Heelys. My wife was not excited at the prospect of getting a skateboard over school shoes but I thought this would be a good lesson in money management and supporting the kids in something they wanted to do.
So I explained to them multiple times the choice they were making. No new shoes for a skateboard. I also explained that skateboarding is not easy and requires a lot of practice and determination. The kids understand and told me that they wanted the skateboards. 
At this point I had a decision to make: Tell the kids no and buy them the shoes or let them have some autonomy and be apart of the decision process, they would however have to sacrifice by not getting the Heelys.
I decided to use Grace and let the kids get their skateboards thinking they would probably try it once or twice and then they would become relics of the garage. To my surprise, the kids pull them out almost everyday and practice. My son now skates with some of the other boys in the neighborhood and came home two weeks ago so proud that he now jumped off the three steps across the street.
So in the end did I make the correct decision? I don't know?
I do know that I let me kids make their own decision and let them be apart of the decision process. I also had some foresight in my thinking process.
Next year, our kids are getting checking accounts at which time they will start to learn managing a budget and spending. Their accounts will be funded and then they will need to shop and budget to buy the items they will need for school, clothes, etc. If they buy expensive shoes, they may not have enough money for new outfits.
This lesson starts them on a foundation of real world life skills that some people do not learn even as adults (Just look at the studies on debt in the U.S.) it also is a small step forward in allowing them to make their own decisions and in those decisions some times fail. Thus comes the real life lessons.
Had my wife and I learned some of these lessons in our youth, when we were under our parents roof, things would have been different in the early years of our marriage. No buying rent-to-own furniture and getting into debt.
We constantly look for real world scenarios to be able to teach our child life lessons, this is just one illustration of the many moments that we could miss out on if we did not have a clear blueprint in our parenting.
As we say in the military "The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in combat."
The Evil Christian
A former instructor of mine and a legend in the Special Operations community is also a die hard born again Christian, affectionately known by those of us who had to serve with him as "The Evil Christian"
Jeff Struecker first started seeing the signs during the famed "Black Hawk Down" incident in Somalia in 1993. He was one of the leaders that shined that day and was later written about in the book and the major motion picture.
I ran into Jeff when he was an instructor at the Ranger Indoctrination Program (RIP) This program is designed to weed out all the weak minded and weak bodies to produce the best candidates to go on and serve in the Army's 75th Ranger Regiment. I remember Jeff could run a 5:00 Minute Mile for what seemed to be endless miles and could do more push ups than any men I have ever met. He would leave us young soldiers sore and out of breathe after a Physical Fitness session. He also never swore around us, which is highly unusual for a Ranger, and Lord help the man that would use the Lords name in vain within an earshot of Jeff.
I ran into Jeff now Chaplain Struecker in 2005 in Iraq while he was the Chaplain for a Memorial Day Ceremony we were conducting. I told him "I'm sure glad your leading the Benediction and not Physical Training today!" He laughed and gave me friendly slap on the shoulder.
Jeff's own journey to walk the path God has set for him and how in times of extreme conflict and bravery, he has turned to God for help is recorded in his book: The Road to Unafraid. I have not yet read the book but cannot wait as it is in the queue on my reading list
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The more I read about Christians like Jeff and Chuck Holton, the more I realize that there is a great need in the military to hear of God's love and grace. Not to mention all the families that have been under great stress since 9/11. The message of Legacy Dad and Grace Based Parenting has a definite role to play in the coming months and years.
I smell some changes in this Legacy Dad's future...
Legacy Dad Fund Update
Here is an update for my children's investment accounts: The Legacy Dad Fund
The fund is invested in by my children using the 3 Jars Method and matched by their company (Mom and Dad.) Using this method teaches our children the value of money as well as giving to charity, investing for the long term, and delayed gratification.
They are currently in 75% Vanguard Index Funds and 25% Stocks. The Fund is up over 100% for the year and is still going.
