The Foundation of the Legacy: Part III
Creating Common Interests
There is only one verse that shows up 5 times in the Bible.
Throughout the course of the Bible you hear people referencing saying "As I have said before" but when you hear that only one verse is mentioned 5 times in the bible, it must be important.
Most would think it is about salvation or following God's word? No.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
It's about marital oneness. This is the single most important verse on marriage in the Bible, it is my belief that if you get this area right, all the other areas of marriage will fall into place. It all starts with Oneness.
True happiness in marriage is defined and obtained by the mutual pursuit of oneness.
Now I know that I certainly fall short at times in this area of my life.
We pursue our jobs.
We pursue our hobbies.
We pursue NFL Football.
But are we putting our wife above all others accept God?
Oneness of spirit
Oneness of soul
You think the same, you feel the same, your goals are the same and you do not allow anything to come between you and your wife.
Unity is built on the foundation of commonality. You have to have common ground.
Your wife needs to be your best friend and time and having a shared interest is essential to building a strong friendship and relationship.
Thats goes beyond living in the same house and having kids together.
It's easy for women to put the kids or her career ahead of their husband.
It's easy for men to put their career or their hobbies ahead of their wife.
As a couple, we have to fight to never let anything come between our oneness. Furthermore, we have to find areas that we as a couple can do together, alone.
Some couples exercise together
Some couples research things together
Some couples cook together
Some couples find something that they both know nothing about and they learn something new together.
It's about finding time and common interests to share together to create connectedness and oneness.
We have to find ways everyday to create oneness in our marriage and never let anything, person or activity come between the friendship and relationship.
In the Part IV of The Foundation of the Legacy will we add to Part III with Confused Allegiances and Wrong Priorities.
-Esse Quam Videri-
The Real Christians?
We were studying Acts and Galatians this week and I heard an interesting sermon that drove home one of the points I have tried to illustrate here on Legacy Dad and when talking with other Christians.
In Acts, Paul is answering some followers who believe that only those circumcised are going to go to heaven and they were preaching this to other Christians. Some times people have the right intentions and are passionate about their faith but they have the teachings a little wrong.
Here is an example:
How are Christians supposed to dress?
How long can a Christian man's hair be?
Are Christians aloud to drink alcohol?
Are Christians aloud to have tattoos and piercings?
Let's look at some further clarifications.
True or False?
A Christian must be baptized to go to heaven?
A Christian that goes to Church 3 times per week will go to heaven before someone who only goes once a week?
All real Christians home school their children right?
Many Christians I talk too will tell you that all of these things have a bearing on our placement with God and the more you serve and do works for God, the more Christian you are.
However, the Bible tells us a different story.
We are saved by grace through faith alone, period.
Works do not equal salvation. These are merely steps in obedience of Gods Law.
In Luke 23, one of thieves on the cross believed Jesus was the son of man and was told by Jesus “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
Was the thief baptized? Did he attend Men's Study Group weekly? No.
Does this mean if we have faith we can now just run wild and live our lives recklessly? Certainly not. I believe that once a person accepts Christ and is saved they are moved personally to works in service of God.
But works do not bring us closer to salvation and it irritates me when some Christians go around and preach this.
"A good Christian woman only wears dresses"
"A Christian would never drink wine."
"We go to church 3 times per week."
"Look at the boy dressed in Goth, he must not be saved."
Why do some Christians believe this? I believe that true faith puts us in an uncontrollable situation, thats why the saying goes "A Leap of Faith"
Doing extra things appeals to the flesh and gives us some control. However faith is a leap with no control.
I also believe that many Christians want to belong and some latch on and spend everyday in fear that they will not go to Heaven by grace through faith, that they need to do more in order to win God's favor.
When I meet these people in person or online, I can tell they are unhappy and they believe the answer is doing more works. I sometimes wonder if they ever stop and enjoy God's grace?
Look at some Articles of Faith and see what I mean or venture to some popular Christian online forums and ask this very question. Many will tell you that you must do more to be saved.
I however, will take my guidance from the Bible. In closing, lets look at what Peter said in Acts 15 on this very topic:
"God knows people’s hearts, and he confirmed that he accepts Gentiles by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as he did to us. He made no distinction between us and them, for he cleansed their hearts through faith. So why are you now challenging God by burdening the Gentile believers with a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors were able to bear? We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.”
We do not need to do more to be saved, we need to do more because we are already saved.
Chris Gardner
I happened to watch the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" a few weeks back and I was totally taken back by the main character Chris Gardner. What was even further impressive is that this is a true story and Chris Gardner actually did these things.
This was a story of a man with no positive role models, no father figure, a torn marriage, a young son and living on welfare to survive.
One day he saw a man in a Ferrari and asked the man what he did? I'm a stockbroker he replied. Gardner then set out to become a stockbroker and finally landed an internship with Dean Witter Reynolds.
During this internship many other people were competing with Chris for a permanent job with Dean Witter. I have been through this process personally and it is not fun. The Series 7 Exam has been equated with taking the Bar Exam for attorneys.
During his internship, Chris and his young son were evicted from their home and lived on the streets often sleeping wherever their was a safe place, they then found Glide Memorial United Methodist Church. The Reverend Cecil Williams allowed Chris and his son to stay and Chris eventually went on to finish his internship and get hired with Dean Witter Reynolds.
After, Dean Witter Reynolds, Chris became very successful and even founded his own firm as well as other businesses. Today, Chris is a very successful man that overcame many odds and is involved in many philanthropy efforts. It is a truly amazing story.
If you have not seen the movie, I recommend renting it. Chris Gardner is truly a Legacy Dad.
Wordless Wednesday: Hotel Bora Bora
Charter Schools
One idea that I really like is the idea of Charter Schools. Charter schools are schools that have been granted a charter exempting it from selected state and local rules.
At first glance this may sound bad but in actuallity most charter schools have higher test averages than public schools. What I really like is that I have seen some charter schools that teach "other" topics.
By "other" I mean ethics, morals, finances, philosophy, business and a variety of other skills that are essential for living and working in the world.
What I would love to see is a hybrid Christian-Charter school. A school that is based on biblical Christian teachings as well as incorporating teachings in morals, ethics, finances and social skills.
Hmm. Maybe a Legacy Christian School?
Financial Basics Part III: Automatic Wealth
I realized looking through the site that I have neglected to finish some of the basics so I am going to work on populating the rest of the Start Here: Read First topics.
One of the key things I learned as a financial planner for the wealthy was automating investing and savings. Most people tend to spend all the have and then try to save money or invest and what happens 99% of the time is there is no money left for it.
So the key to easy investing and savings is through Automatic Wealth or the "Pay Yourself First Principle". This simply means that all savings and investing is automatically withdrawn from your income sources before you ever see it. This way the money is already saved or invested and you are forced to live within your budget.
For example: Every pay check I have money deducted for my ING savings account, my 401(k) and my Roth IRA. I never even see the money. Therefore their is no temptation to spend it on other things.
Another benefit of Automatic Wealth is that you learn to live on less. I here the same excuses all the time:
"I don't have any extra money to save"
"We'll start investing when we get out of debt"
"When I start making more money, we'll start saving."
But the truth is these people are usually overspending. One of the first things I did with clients just starting out was to have them write down every single penny the spent for one month. The results were amazing.
$100 per month on premium cable
$250 per month on Starbucks Coffee
$300 per month on lunches and snacks at work
$100 per month in extra fees (Movie rentals, extra insurance on credit cards and checking accounts)
With most people I could find $300 per month of extra income that was being wasted. By simply taking a sack lunch and coffee from home, we could add almost $400 per month of income.
When I first started, I thought there was no way to save 10%. Then after a year, we found it easy and began saving 15%, then 20% and every time I got a raise instead of buying bigger toys, we increased our savings and investments.
A great new program that we are using is called Mvelopes, click on the Quick Tour link for a demo video. Mvelopes is a a fully integrated financial management system that breaks your income down into spending "envelopes" and keeps you on budget. It also offers a free full service bill payment system "you can pay any company or individual, schedule automatic or recurringpayments or transfers and receive, view and pay your bills all online"
It also allows you bi-monthly billing that will help you automatically pay off your mortgage and loans quicker. And throw in an anytime mobile access that you can use your cell or PDA to make transactions with.
All this for about $11 per month.
On average, Mvelopes users save an additional 10% per month.
Why do I support this product so much?
It establishes the "pay yourself first" principle, it ensures your bills are always paid on time, it allows bi-monthly payments and it keeps you on budget.
I've used Quicken and Microsoft Money and they simply do not compare.
The whole point here is to automate all your savings and investing, as well as bill paying and then keep careful track of your budget.
Along with Mvelopes there are two great books that explain the power of this concept further:
Four Laws of Debt Free Prosperity
and
Automatic Millionaire
Kid Nation
I don't have time to watch much television but I did catch a trailer for CBS's new series Kid Nation. This show is based on 40 kids in their own town with no adults. They cook, clean, run the services and have a working town counsel to air grievances.
This show looks very intriguing and sometimes very emotional but child development experts are already attacking the show and trying to have it blocked from being aired. They argue that putting children into this situation too young can have psychological effects later in life.
I'm no expert but the trailer looks exciting and I love this idea. Children are still innocent and have not yet been polluted by many of life's pressures and expectations. They still dream and still believe in making a difference.
Watch this trailer: