God Men

I ran into this website the other day and I really like what they are talking about.  Check out this little video clip.   

Here is what their site says: 

Welcome to GodMen, where you'll  find power, honesty, courage and your tribe of brothers.

Wehave committed to see what would happen if, for one day, our faith andits struggles would be discussed with absolute honesty, transparencyand openness - not sugar coated or framed in church language butinstead spoken in frankness and maturity. The GodMen event creates anenvironment familiar with and conducive to the way men are madecomfortable and the unique way men interact.

We are unique in that we provide audience-speaker dialogue andinteraction in order to teach men how to shoulder each others’ burdens,never to be alone again. Our ultimate desire is to encourage men toleave committed to daily acts of courage, guiding them into a new andfresh journey. Does this resonate with you and your search for meaningand truth? Then you are of our tribe - come walk with us and bring yourunique life experience and perspective to our journey.

                    We don't want you....we need you.

Sounds like their are right up the Legacy Dad alley...

Check out their whole site at God Men

 

The Ultimate Gift

I got an advertisement from Christianbooks about a week ago about this movie called  "The Ultimate Gift."  I read the preview and it sounded a lot like what I am trying to do here at Legacy Dad: 

Guide my children through a series of "tests" to learn true values
Teach them practical life skills
Raise their awareness on important issues
Develop a strong faith and biblical morals as the foundation in their life
And pass on a legacy to them in the future.  Monetary and Spiritual

So I pre-ordered this DVD and we watched it the other night.  I was completely blown away, this is one of the best movies of the year and I am recommending it to everyone.  Buy it or go out and rent it. 

Watch the trailer and then check out the book and all the other tools on their website:

The Ultimate Gift.com

The Legacy You Want to Give

Parents can evaluate how well they're passing on a spiritual legacy to their children by answering these questions

by  J. Otis Ledbetter and Kurt Bruner

Weall have good and bad parts to the legacy we have inherited. The key isto move forward from here. For some, taking a closer look at the legacythey’ve been given helps them assess the legacy they want to pass on.After considering your past, here are some practical tips for thefuture:

Decide what you’ll keep: You probablyhave things you received that are wonderful and need to be kept andpassed on. Other things may need to be thrown out. Or, perhaps you havea weak legacy that needs strengthening.

Whatever you received,you can now intentionally pass along the good. This isn’t always easy.If you saw hypocrisy in your parents’ lives, you may be tempted tothrow everything out even though much of what your parents modeled wasgood. Don’t. That would be like burning down the house to get rid ofsome bugs.

Realize that God can redeem even the “bad stuff” in your legacy.Unfortunately many of us have parts of our legacy that are weak or evenawful. Maybe one of your parents was an alcoholic or abusive or didn’tprovide the nurturing you needed. In today’s society, the stories ofsuch families are common. You may be asking, “How do I give something Ididn’t receive? Nobody modeled this stuff for me.”

Hope is notlost. Consider the story of Josiah from the Old Testament in the Bible.His father and grandfather were involved in many wicked things,including idol worship that threatened the entire nation. But after8-year-old Josiah became king of Judah, he reversed that trend. Hesought God and purged Judah of idols, repaired the temple and saved anation.

Like Josiah, you can choose which things in your legacyare no good and throw them away. It’s important to break the cycle ofhurt by leaving bad things behind and creating a new legacy. If youdon’t know God, this is a good time to introduce yourself. Legacies arenot easily broken and always benefit from His guidance.

Chart anew course as you begin a positive legacy for yourself and those youlove. Research suggests that most fathers will parent the way they wereparented. That means only a minority of fathers will change theirparenting style — even if their parenting is wrong! Today, you can takepositive steps to design a new heritage for yourself and your family.

Emotional Legacy Evaluation

Answereach question by circling the number that best reflects the legacy youhave received from your parents. Then add up your score.

1. When you walked into your house, what was your feeling?

  1. Dread
  2. Tension
  3. Chaos
  4. Stability
  5. Calm
  6. Warmth

2. Which word best describes the tone of your home?

  1. Hateful
  2. Angry
  3. Sad
  4. Serious
  5. Relaxed
  6. Fun

3. What was the message of your family life?

  1. You are worthless.
  2. You are a burden.
  3. You are okay.
  4. You are respected.
  5. You are important.
  6. You are the greatest.

4. Which word best describes the "fragrance" of your home life?

  1. Repulsive
  2. Rotten
  3. Unpleasant
  4. Sterile
  5. Fresh
  6. Sweet

5. Which was most frequent in your home?

  1. An intense fight
  2. The silent treatment
  3. Detached apathy
  4. A strong disagreement
  5. A kind word
  6. An affectionate hug

Results:

Above 24 = Strong emotional legacy

19 - 24 = Healthy legacy

14 - 18 = Mixed legacy - good and bad elements

10 - 13 = Weak emotional legacy

Below 10 = Damaged emotional legacy

Social Legacy Evaluation

Answereach question by circling the number that best reflects the legacy youhave received from your parents. Then add up your score.

1. Which words most closely resemble the social tone of your family?

  1. Cruel and abusive
  2. Cutting sarcasm
  3. Chaotic and distant
  4. Noncommunicative but stable
  5. Secure with open communication
  6. Loving and fun

2. What was the message of your home life with regard to relationships?

  1. "Step on others to get your way."
  2. "Hurt them if they hurt you."
  3. "Demand your rights."
  4. "Mind your own business."
  5. "Treat others with respect."
  6. "Put others before yourself."

3. How were rules set and enforced in your home?

  1. Independent of relationship
  2. In reaction to parental stress
  3. Dictatorially
  4. Inconsistently
  5. Out of concern for my well-being
  6. In the context of a loving relationship

4. Which word best characterizes the tone of communication in your home?

  1. Shouting
  2. Manipulation
  3. Confusing
  4. Clear
  5. Constructive
  6. Courteous

5. How did your family deal with wrong behavior?

  1. Subtle reinforcement
  2. Accepted in the name of love
  3. Guilt trip
  4. Severe punishment
  5. Discussion
  6. Loving, firm discipline

Results:

Above 24 = Strong social legacy

19 - 24 = Healthy legacy

14 - 18 = Mixed legacy — good and bad elements

10 - 13 = Weak social legacy

Below 10 = Damaged social legacy

Spiritual Legacy Evaluation

Answereach question by circling the number that best reflects the legacy youhave received from your parents. Then add up your score.

1. To what degree were spiritual principles incorporated into daily family life?

  1. Never
  2. Rarely
  3. Sometimes
  4. Frequently
  5. Almost always
  6. Consistently

2. Which word captures the tone of how you learned to view/relate to God?

  1. Absent
  2. Adversarial
  3. Fearful
  4. Casual
  5. Solemn
  6. Intimate

3. How would you summarize your family’s level of participation in spiritual activities?

  1. Nonexistent
  2. Rare
  3. Occasional
  4. Regimental
  5. Active
  6. Enthusiastic

4. How were spiritual discussions applied in your home?

  1. They weren't
  2. To control
  3. To manipulate
  4. To teach
  5. To influence
  6. To reinforce

5. What was the perspective in your home regarding moral absolutes?

  1. If it feels good, do it!
  2. There are no absolutes.
  3. Let your heart guide you.
  4. Dogmatic legalism
  5. Moderate conservatism
  6. Clear boundaries

Results:

Above 24 = Strong spiritual legacy

19 - 24 = Healthy legacy

14 - 18 = Mixed legacy — good and bad elements

10 - 13 = Weak spiritual legacy

Below 10 = Damaged spiritual legacy

Reposted from Focus on the Family

Family Legacies

by  J. Otis Ledbetter and Kurt Bruner

Nomatter who we are, where we live, or what our goals may be, we all haveone thing in common: a heritage. That is, a social, emotional andspiritual legacy passed on from parent to child. Every one of us ispassed a heritage, lives out a heritage, and gives a heritage to ourfamily. It’s not an option. Parents always pass to their children alegacy … good, bad or some of both.

A spiritual, emotional andsocial legacy is like a three-stranded cord. Individually, each strandcannot hold much weight. But wrapped together, they are strong. That’swhy passing on a positive, affirming legacy is so important and why anegative legacy can be so destructive. The good news is that you, withGod’s help, can decide to pass a positive legacy on to your childrenwhether you received one or not.

Today, if we don’t intentionallypass a legacy consistent with our beliefs to our children, our culturewill pass along its own, often leading to a negative end. It isimportant to remember that passing on a spiritual, emotional and sociallegacy is a process, not an event. As parents, we are responsible forthe process. God is responsible for the product. We cannot do God’sjob, and He won’t do ours.

The Emotional Legacy

Inorder to prosper, our children need an enduring sense of security andstability nurtured in an environment of safety and love.

The Social Legacy

Toreally succeed in life, our children need to learn more than managementtechniques, accounting, reading, writing and geometry. They need tolearn the fine art of relating to people. If they learn how to relatewell to others, they’ll have an edge in the game of life.

The Spiritual Legacy

TheSpiritual Legacy is overlooked by many, but that’s a mistake. Asspiritual beings, we adopt attitudes and beliefs about spiritualmatters from one source or another. As parents, we need to take theinitiative and present our faith to our children.

The Emotional Legacy

Sadly,many of us struggle to overcome a negative emotional legacy thathinders our ability to cope with the inevitable struggles of life. Butimagine yourself giving warm family memories to your child. You cancreate an atmosphere that provides a child’s fragile spirit with thenourishment and support needed for healthy emotional growth. It willrequire time and consistency to develop a sense of emotional wholeness,but the rewards are great.

A strong emotional legacy:

  • Provides a safe environment in which deep emotional roots can grow.
  • Fosters confidence through stability.
  • Conveys a tone of trusting support.
  • Nurtures a strong sense of positive identity.
  • Creates a “resting place” for the soul.
  • Demonstrates unconditional love.

Whichcharacteristics would you like to build into the legacy you pass alongto your children? Even if you don’t hit the exact mark, setting up theright target is an important first step.

The Social Legacy

Inorder to prosper, our children need to gain the insights and socialskills necessary to cultivate healthy, stable relationships. Aschildren mature, they must learn to relate to family members, teachers,peers and friends. Eventually they must learn to relate to coworkersand many other types of people such as salespeople, bankers, mechanicsand bosses.

Nowhere can appropriate social interaction andrelationships be demonstrated more effectively than in the home. Athome you learned — and your children will learn — lessons aboutrespect, courtesy, love and involvement. Our modeling as parents playsa key role in passing on a strong social legacy.

Key building blocks of children’s social legacy include:

  • Respect, beginning with themselves and working out to other people.
  • Responsibility,fostered by respect for themselves, that is cultivated by assigningchildren duties within the family, making them accountable for theiractions, and giving them room to make wrong choices once in a while.
  • Unconditionallove and acceptance by their parents, combined with conditionalacceptance when the parents discipline for bad behavior or actions.
  • The setting of social boundaries concerning how to relate to God, authority, peers, the environment and siblings.
  • Rules that are given within a loving relationship

The Spiritual Legacy

Parentswho successfully pass along a spiritual legacy to their children modeland reinforce the unseen realities of the godly life. We must recognizethat passing a spiritual legacy means more than encouraging ourchildren to attend church, as important as that is. The church is thereto support parents in raising their children but it cannot do theraising; only parents can.

The same principle applies tospiritual matters. Parents are primary in spiritual upbringing, notsecondary. This is especially true when considering that children,particularly young children, perceive God the way they perceive theirparents. If their parents are loving, affirming, forgiving and yetstrong in what they believe, children will think of God that way. He issomeone who cares, who is principled and who loves them above all else.

Hereare five things you do that predict whether your children will receivethe spiritual legacy a Christian parent desires. Do you:

  1. Acknowledgeand reinforce spiritual realities? Do your children know, for example,that Jesus loves everyone? That God is personal, loving and willforgive us?
  2. View God as a personal, caring being who is to be loved and respected?
  3. Make spiritual activities a routine part of life?
  4. Clarify timeless truth — what’s right and wrong?
  5. Incorporate spiritual principles into everyday living

Reposted from Focus on the Family

The Success Illusion: Final

We conclude our look into raising "successful kids" 

In Part I  I stated that I talk with a lot of parents and often I ask what they want most for their children.  The most common answer I here is Success.  I then ask the parents to define success and what I normally here is a good education, a good job and some financial abundance leading to less struggle then the parents had to deal with.

In Part II we looked at Honesty and Discipline as the top factors that lead to "successful" people and family's according to Dr. Thomas Stanley's research on affluent households.

In Part III we looked at Social Skills and Courage as the final top 5 traits most exhibited by  "successful"  people. 

Today we will look at a few honorable mention factors listed.  First is Education.

Most people often site good grades ,graduating from an Ivy League school or having a high IQ as factors to success.  According to Dr. Staley's research, most millionaires were "C" students and valued creativity over spelling and grammar.  Those surveys concluded that high IQ and good grades often lead to work in narrow fields consisting of data, research or academia.  Most top students do not pursue work in entrepreneurial or people oriented professions so they usually do not gain people skills and do not move into leadership positions.

The next area is Home life. 

Most millionaires stated that growing up they had a stable upbringing and secure love of parents. In their adult lives they listed a strong supportive spouse and strong religious faith as major factors in their success.  Their was also a direct correlation to the length of their marriages and the size of their wealth.  The longer they were married, the more wealth they had. 

The qualities most listed be millionaires in their spouse were as follows:    

Unselfish, Caring, Disciplined, Virtuous, Forgiving, Patient, Understanding and Possessing Traditional Values.

Another major factor was shared dreams and goals and support for on another. 

The number one listed trait from males about their spouse was Honesty.The number one listed trait from females about their spouse was Loving.

So what is the point of all this? 

While financial abundance is not a direct measure of ones character and goodness, the character traits found in these affluent people are.

So many times as parents we focus so much attention and time on school and sports and this has no guarantee of future success.  While these areas are important, what is even more important is the focus and molding of Character traits, Social Skills and Faith.

Honesty, Social Skills, Courage, Creativity, Marriage, Faith, Patience, Unselfishness and biblical morals and values can not only lead our children to financial success but it also sets them up for what Tim Kimmel calls True Greatness.  Anybody can raise children to be successful but very few raise their children for greatness. 

Jesus knew this and tried to tell us this in Matthew 7:24-27

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

If we build our children on the foundations of biblical values they can have success and greatness.  Instead of focusing a majority of our time on the worlds principles for success, grades and sports, maybe we should start focusing more on God's principles for success?

As the saying goes:

"If you aim for the world, you'll get the world.  If you aim for Heaven, you get the world and eternity in heaven."

-Esse Quam Videri-

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