What are your top 6 priorties?

When you look at other ministries and other people what fruit do you see?  Do you see the fruit of the Spirit or the fruit of the sinful nature?  If we are truly saved, by Grace, then what should naturally flow out of us?  Often, we will find individuals that have this insatiable drive to serve and to bust their humps to be busy, but how often do we see individuals that truly are bearing the fruit of the Spirit in their every day lives.If I were to ask you in any order:

• Family
• Community
• Work
• God
• Church
• Friends

Which would you say that is your top priority naming them 1 (most important) through 6.   So go ahead and in your best and most honest answer by the fruit in your life (what your family, friends and the world (even your checkbook) would say that that order is.  Now, what would your wife and kids say that your priorities are?  Now ask your wife what her priorities are (really are) and what she thinks others would say (including you).  Now, once these two exercises are done let's have the two of you (and your family) based on the Bible write down what priorities you think should be the order collectively.

Once you that down, click here for where the second post is going (don't click on it until you complete your family lists (come on, be honest)

Blessings,

Dante

The Pursuit of Happiness

The Declaration of Independence: A TranscriptionIN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness…

These men were standing together against tyranny and against a form of government that no longer cared about the inalienable rights of individuals as highlighted in red above.  They stood together against a far superior force and military that for any other reason would be overwhelmed if it had not been for God allowing these men to form a nation:  The United States of America.

This post is not about the rich culture of American History and the men that made this such a great nation.  Not every founding father was a professing christian and had a relationship with Jesus Christ, but we read in Romans 8, that that doesn't matter because God will use who He chooses to use for His good and purpose.  I am so thankful to be a part of this country and to be able to be free to speak and to worship and to read the Bible in public venues without fear of persecution or condemnation.  Clearly, some of you may be thinking that this government is so far away from the original statements laid before in this wonderful Declaration, but we have seen this before.  Communists trying overthrow our government through media channels, Nazis infiltrating very aspects of our society and some other modern day Governments that so desperately crave to destroy the very essence of Freedom.

There is a lot that is wrong with this world and even in our country, but remember this, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God" Romans 3.  No matter how we hope that legislators and rulers and bosses and so on can get the very essence of God's word to promote justice and freedom and the belief for each and everyone of us to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, we will always find those that want to stunt this thought and have plans of their own.  Plans that our contrary to the word of God and to the very statutes of our creator.

These founding fathers understood the most important lesson in life:  There is a Creator and every knee will bow and tongue will confess.  So what does that mean for you and I?  Simply put, why should each one of us act differently then the world?  Why should we be humble, teachable and respectful of others?  Why should we love the Lord God with all of our heart, mind, body and soul and secondly why should we love our neighbor as ourselves?  Because Jesus told us that these are the two most important commands to follow (because all the others hinge on this).

What rights do we have as legacy dads:

• To love God
• To read his word daily
• To pray often
• To be loved by Him
• To love our wives unconditionally (Read 1 Peter 3:7)
• To love our children unconditionally
• To pursue our happiness (honoring God all the way)
• To be humble in all circumstances
• To trust and obey (for there is no other way)
• To Submit to God's will for our lives (this brings us His plans and His freedoms for our lives)

What if these are not the case in my life?  What if my life is bearing more sinful nature stuff then the fruit of the Spirit? What should I do, Dante? Lance?  Where can I turn?  How can I right this wrong?  How can I turn this ship around?  How can I take this dead marriage back to life?  YOU CAN'T, BUT  GOD CAN MAKE NEW THINGS AND RAISE THE DEAD TO LIFE!!!

Right now, if this speaks to you:

• Pray, ask God to reveal His will for your life (note:  If you are not reading the Bible, then you will not get this request)
• Get involved with other men (in a bible study, in an accountability group - true accountability)
• Love unconditionally
• If there is more deeper issues (scars, hurts, wrongs) get profession biblical help

Wait on God & Trust Him.

Blessings,

Dante

TOP 10 THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL

As I continue to get older (and older) I have come to the realization that most older people (those that learn from their lives and continue to learn) have a wealth of knowledge if we could just take the time to engage them and chat with them and build relationship with them.  A dear old friend of mine used to say to me that there is only two things in life that we can control and that is: 1) Our attitudes and 2) how we handle the situation that God brings to us.This brings me to my top 10 list of things that you can't control:

1. Those around us - We cannot force our will on others nor control them for the outlook that we want
2. The way that God made us - Each of us have been faithfully and wonderfully made.  God loves us all and has made each one of us unique in our own special ways
3. Our family - We get to choose our friends (not our family) but God calls us to love our family and to show them the love of Christ
4. Those who we work with and work for - (obviously if you are a boss, or company owner you have influence) if you yield to scripture and follow its teaching, whether you are an owner, a peon or somewhere in the middle or upper middle, you cannot control those around you nor the situations that they present you with
5. The choices we have made (in the past) - we are accountable to decisions and actions that we have taken and we cannot control the outcome of those decisions if we made decisions that are contrary to God's will for our lives
6. The consequences of our past - God's way brings the abundant life, the world's way brings consequences to sin (as for me and my house we will choose to serve the Lord)
7. What other people know that we don't - unless they want to share with us, we cannot control what they want to share or don't want to share
8. What the future will bring (or won't) - Read Roman's 8 (God is in control)
9. What others think of us - Who is your identity in? The world or in Christ?
10. Whether or not others like us (or want to love us) - this is huge, because this impacts #1 through #9 and how we are around others.  If you have lived long enough on this earth you will find that not everyone will like you (people are different) and you will find that some may even hate you.  Is your identity in them or in Christ?

What we can control:

Our attitudes - how we react to positive and negative influences (and people) in our lives

How we handle the situation that God brings to us - From James 1 (NIV) 1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.

Trials and Temptations

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. 9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business. 12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.  13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Listening and Doing

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.  26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Don't just hear the words (of the Bible) do what they say (as we are required to do as disciples of Christ).

Blessings,

Dante

Which way are you running dad?

Dear Dad,As I watch you in your older years, it is difficult for me to watch your body and brain succumb to the ages of life (Parkinson's, Dementia and your health along the way).  You are my dad and a man who has taught me so much and continues to do so in your elderly years.  You have always impressed upon me the importance of hard work, of finishing the job, of commitment, of being a man (even though you were not yet a Christian at this time of training - you paved the legacy for me to connect the dots).  I want to thank you for making me into the husband and father that you have worked so hard to do.

Do I always get that right?  No.  Am I selfish and sometimes fail to find the lessons in your many years of training? Yes.  But I strive to be the man who you want me to be and the husband and father that you so drove into me.  If it were in my power not to work, not to raise my kids and not to be the husband that you want me to be, I would quit everything and bring you with me and listen to you and hold you and comfort you without mom.  You taught me the importance of marriage and to avoid the temptations of life.  You quoted Shakespeare to me in ways to avoid debt and to be raised right.

The one thing that I am so grateful for is after all the years of me trying to lead you to Jesus Christ that you never heeded those words, that is, until the day that I had a son.  Thanks to a dear church friend of mine that told me to be real in my faith and to share my heart with you, which lead me to talk about the love of my son (your grandson).  I said to you that if the world required that I sacrifice my son to save the world that I would tell the world to go to hell.  I caught that moment of toughness turned to weakness in you, when you exhaled and held a tear back and said to me, 'That is how I feel about you" and then to watch your expression melt when I shared what God did with His son for you and me and my son.

I am so grateful to you that was the day that the Lord called you to be his.  This is the legacy that I want from my son, dad.  Yes, I want him to understand the gifts of life that we are given:

• The gift of work
• The gift of money
• The gift of friends
• The gift of learning
• The gift of problems
• The gift of family
• The gift of laughter
• The gift of dreams
• The gift of Giving
• The gift of Gratitude
• The gift of a day
• The gift of Love

But what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?  It doesn't!  "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us," Hebrews 12:1

Dad,  thank you for instilling in me the importance of being a man of God.  At the time of your training, you didn't know Jesus Christ as Savior (yet), but he was preparing you for what lies ahead.  Thank you for always being there for me and I want to especially thank you for standing your ground and giving me boundaries and allowing me to fail within that framework.  You have taught me a lot - how to be a man.  For that, I am eternally grateful.  Thank you for hearing God's call to accept His Son as Savior.  I cannot wait for you and mom to be re-united.  In the meantime, please have patience with me as I learn again and again to be patient with you and pray that you will be the patient with me as we both age.

I love you!

Love,

Dante

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Dear Legacy dads,

Lance and I want to encourage you in your walks.  No matter the past, no matter where you are in the present, trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.  Acknowledge him in all of your ways and He will make your paths straight.  The question that was asked to all of you in the beginning was, "Which way are you running, dad?"  This is an epic question and one that deserves to be answered by all of our legacy dads and moms out there.

Ask yourselves these following questions:

• By my activities and those that I/we have our children involved in, am I doing the best at what God calls us to do as dads (moms/parents)?
• Would my checkbook affirm that I am a disciple of Christ
• Would my activities and habits and daily doings show that?
• How can I take the idols out of my life (sports, activities, hobbies that take me away from serving God)?
• How do I find God's will in my life?
• How do I get in the relationship with God in such a way that He speaks to me?
• Am I/are we doing what God calls us to do?
• If not, why not?

It's never to late to leave the legacy that God wants you to lead.  Surrender and Obey...do not just read His words, do what they say.

Blessings,

Dante

Happy New Year - From Legacy Dad

Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV) “11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV) “13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Whether you celebrate the New Year by toasting grape juice, pillows (going to bed early), or even Champagne, we would like you to look back for a gander in 2014.  For some of you, it has been full of travel and work and more travel and for others it has been just another year under the belt.   For some, it has been a year of trials and tribulations and for others it has been a year of jubilee and blessing.  While yet, for others, it may have been a year of both trial and blessing.  Whatever and where ever you are in this life - we would like to humbly wish you all a very Happy New Year.

So what is our challenge for 2015?

• Calling all Legacy dads:
• Strain toward the goal (finish well)
• Press toward walking more with God
• Lean more on God (Jesus and His Spirit) and less on ourselves
• Declare God's plan for our lives (and not our own)

When we work toward the goal of Jesus, we learn to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, then we see more of God's will in our lives and less of our will.

Remember, God does have plans for us - really good plans.

Happy New Year and the best to your and your families in 2015!

Blessings,

Lance & Dante

A Father Abandoned

Parenting advice and blogs seem to focus on two distinct areas: The new parents to school age child genre and the triage – something is wrong genre. As a result, 90% of the parents I talk with at my conferences and in discussions tend to fall into these two categories and it’s often hard for other parents to relate to me as a father of two teenagers. Unless there is a triage issue, most parents in the teen years have long stopped reading the parents blogs and have just settled in their groove.

Recently, I’ve discovered a phenomena that I’ve read about but did not expect to hit me so hard in the teen years, the Abandonment Issue. After returning from six months abroad in a foreign country, I’ve realized that my two teens are now fully engaged in their own lives and peer group. Each day, the kids have an agenda and schedule filled with school, activities and friends and the last thing on their list is spending time with dad. Gone are the days when dad was the apple of their eye and seen as a super hero that they would run to when scared or in need. Although I knew these days would come, I never thought that they would hit me so hard.

My logical side tells me that this is normal and part of the teenage years, where my kids spread their wings and try things on their own, but my emotional side feels abandoned and as if one chapter of my parenting book has ended. The teen years are the years when peer groups and peer influence become more prevalent in our children but as a father, although I realize that this is normal, it’s hard to not feel abandoned and insignificant.

When your children are little, you never think the day will come when they start to spread their wings and try things on their own and the day they leave your home for college seems like a fairytale in the distant future. However, as the years pass and they grow into young men and women, you soon realize that the distant fairytale is slowly getting closer and closer.

Although friends have become more important in my children’s lives and spending time with mom and dad is “boring” I have to remember that this is all part of God’s plan and that the fruits of years of prayer and hard work are unfolding before my eyes. I also have to remember to cherish the moments when my teens do want to spend time together and to make those moments memorable and meaningful. I pray that God gives me and all parents who enter into this new phase of parenting the strength to continue to reach out to our children, even when they don’t need us as much, and to continue to pray for their safety and that God works in their lives to bring about His ultimate plan for them.

Esse Quam Videri

Lance

FOMO(D) = Fear of Missing Out (Disease)

Fear of missing out or FOMO is a form of social anxiety, whereby one is compulsively concerned that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience, profitable investment or other satisfying event. The fear is especially associated with modern technologies such as mobile phones and social networking services such as Facebook and Twitter, which provide constant opportunity for comparison of one's status. Through an increased reliance on the Internet, a psychological dependence to being online has developed and results in anxiety when one feels disconnected, thereby leading to a fear of missing out.The older I get, the more that I am horrified of what technology and social media has done to this world.  Seriously, walk into a restaurant, a coffee bar, a shopping mall and look around and observe:  Mostly everyone has their heads in their smart phone or Ipad and are missing out on the beauty around them. God made us to be social beings, because in His trinity, he is teaching us the importance of community.  God made us as social beings - he wants us to be social.  "Go and make disciples" has explicit community attached to that statement.  God calls us to be pure, to be faithful and to be good stewards of our time, talent and treasure.  I think when we spend so much time in fruitless matters (on FOMO events).

The other day, I was out to dinner with my family and noticed a handsome couple, it seemed obvious that they were on their 2nd or 3rd date as they both seemed relatively new to one another.  The thing that I found was really sad was that they both spent more time in their phones then looking into each other's eyes.  How many conversations that you are in, do you notice people, over generations, have lost the art of conversation.  Seriously observe the next time you are talking or watch others talking:  They are not focusing on the person in front of them, or in conversation, they are looking for the better thing, or the more interesting person walking along. My wife and I try and teach our kids this art of conversation.  When someone talks to you, look them in the eyes and acknowledge that they are important to you.  If you are at a restaurant (or service location) and the server (employee) is asking you something, give them the respect of their time and engage their conversation - this is an art of respect.

TOP 10 REASONS WHY WE NEED TO LET GO OF FOMO

1. When you are not in the moment, you may be missing the very blessing that God wants you to receive (or to give)
2. When you are suffering from FOMO, fear and anxiety can often set in
3. When FOMO rules your life, you are missing the beauty that is around you
4. When FOMO dominates your life, you are quickly overwhelmed by social media, electronics and the like that become idols in your life
5. When FOMO reigns in your life, you are not serving God the way that he wants you to
6. When FOMO becomes more important then the person in right in front of you, you are not honoring God's request in our life for community
7. When FOMO has overrun you, you are quick to be bored
8. When FOMO controls your thoughts, expectations and anticipations, it is really hard to be satisfied
9. When FOMO controls you, you will likely put a smile on the evil ones
10. When FOMO is put in its rightful place (the least of your priorities) you will soon be finding God's will in your life

I am not sure about you and what FOMO looks like in your life, but I know the more of what I put in my life, the more my life bears that fruit.  What fruit do you want to bear?  The Fruit of the Spirit or of the sinful nature.

Thoughts?

Dante

Twas the night before Christmas, by Legacydad

"The Night Before Christmas" by Legacy Dad'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a child was screening a IPad nor even an IPhone.  The parents were working hard to finish the packing and even wrapping the last minute deliveries.  A movie just ended about a sad story, but not to fear, it all works out through the evening.

The children were wrestling and wondering, could this man called Saint Nicholas be for real.  Some doubted and reasoned while yet others were hoping that maybe just maybe Norad Santa Tracker could be for real, then the morning would truly bring their hearts’ desires.

As mom and dad prayed for just a few more hours, hoping that children would sleep way past their wake up hours, a sound arose from their hearts, yes a sound, the spirit of Christmas.

A long time ago, in a town called Bethlehem, a child was born of a virgin.  Fulfilling age old prophecies, one child named Jesus would prove them all true.  His dad, our God, sent him to us, as a gift of mercy and love for all of us.

Mom and dad decided to read that old Bible, Luke 2 it was , with all of its mercy.  A boy was born and was visited by wise men, bearing gifts to this king – gold, frankincense and myrrh.  Some odd gifts they were, but true telling of the young lad:  A king, a prince, who would die a death for us – for love and mercy.

When tomorrow morning comes, inside all the fury, we, parents need to remember the birthday celebration:  Christ the child was born for us, our sins he covered with his death.  Let us remember to give God the glory.  In all we do, in words and action, Christmas is the day for us to begin anew, to be his disciples.

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Best wishes,

Dante & Lance