Show me how to...

Mathew West wrote this song about a women who sent her story to him.  The woman's daughter was killed by a drunk driver and this woman had started a ministry across the country talking to people about the cause and effects of drinking and driving and why we shouldn't do this.  As she kept traveling the Lord slowly revealed that something was truly missing from her life.  She had the compassion and the boldness to speak truth in love to those who could devastate their lives by poor decisions - but the Lord revealed to her that something true was missing:  Forgiveness. 

Matthew wrote this song:

"Forgiveness"

It’s the hardest thing to give away

And the last thing on your mind today

It always goes to those that don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel

When the pain they caused is just too real

It takes everything you have just to say the word…

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

It flies in the face of all your pride

It moves away the mad inside

It’s always anger’s own worst enemy

Even when the jury and the judge

Say you gotta right to hold a grudge

It’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable

Show me how to reach the unreachable

Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness

It’ll clear the bitterness away

It can even set a prisoner free

There is no end to what it’s power can do

So, let it go and be amazed

By what you see through eyes of grace

The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable

Show me how to reach the unreachable

Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness

I want to finally set it free

So show me how to see what Your mercy sees

Help me now to give what You gave to me

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

For those of us who don't struggle with anger, we think that it is not a struggle to forgive (or fill in the things that you don't struggle with here _______).  But if you are like me, then you are a realist.  I used to be annoyed and unforgiving of the Apostle Peter, but then the Lord revealed to me that I was so much worse than he was .  I was judge-mental prideful and arrogant.  I was unforgiving and rude and sometimes just down right ridiculous in my thought processes.  I mean, think about it, sometimes (if we are really honest) the things that we don't like about others really are things that we don't like about ourselves (or things that we struggle with and try not to do).

If we are true disciples of Jesus Christ THEN we have to forgive like He has forgiven us.  We have to love, like He loves us and we have to do to others as He has done for us.

When it is all said and done, Matthew West is right when he sings that  when we don't forgive we end up putting ourselves in a prison of unforgiveness.  Think about it?

Forgive, and find God's blessings in your life when you move closer to His will.

Blessings,

D

Rock Climbing and Discipleship

This past Friday when I arrived home from work, my wife was packed and car was loaded up and she and her girlfriends were on their way to a weekend trip with just themselves (no kids nor husbands in tow).  She was excited and I was excited for her.  She was curious to what I had planned all weekend for my three kids and I, but I would not budge in telling her and relying on pure social media for her to figure out as the time progressed through this weekend.  For each of my kids I had planned on giving them a date, event or time to plan the event and they all performed beautifully in their assignments.  I had each of them pinky swear that they would not tell their mother or each other.So after Mom left, we changed and drove the movie theater for surprise #1:  The Movie:  Planes.  Afterwards, surprise #2 was dinner at the choice of my son.  We had a great time of fellowship and talking about their life issues and dad even got a chance to talk to both of my girls about when they date what they should expect from their dates and how the male should be expected to treat them while dating.   It was a good conversation and a great dinner choice by my son.

The next morning was surprise #3 by my youngest who chose a different breakfast then the kids were used to (and all 3 loved it).  I have to be honest in saying that I was remiss for missing my weekly men's bible study, but soon quickly enjoyed the moment and how much fun my kids were having during this wonderful weekend.  Afterwards, we drove to the nearest Ace Hardware as dad had a few items to repair around the house and had to cross off some of my own "to-do" lists - they were completed (oh yeah!).  We then drove to our previous hometown as I had to pick up a clock for my dad (Antique).  We then got some coffee and then I surprised them with my #4 event for the weekend - Rock Climbing.

The best part about this was that it had been a very long while since all of them climbed and after the first climb (they reached the top every time they climbed), but I was reminding them to make sure that at all times that they had 3 points of contact (unless they were taking a break and relying on the spotter for rest).  I told them also to use their legs more then their arm strength and told them to think about each of their next moves up the wall.  The following climbs, thereafter, became more and more difficult but each of them found their own niche on not only completing the task, but also learned that even when doubt creeps in that they could still do it as God had provided them with the mental and physical talent to complete each climb.

This got me thinking about this post and how rock climbing can relate to being a disciple of Jesus Christ.

So here it goes:  How Rock Climbing relates to being an effective disciple

Rock Climbing (relating to being a disciple of Jesus):

You need the proper gears (shoes, harness, rope, helmet, Caribiners, Belay device):  <you need your Bible, Prayer, the Body of Christ, and to rely on the Holy Spirit to lead you>

You need someone to Belay you <you need to do ministry with someone else - at least two by two and in community you need the entire body of Christ>

You need faith to trust the equipment that you have been given -without Faith and trust in what you have, it would be an effective Climber <you need faith to be an effective disciple of Jesus Christ

You need to look up to see where you are going and what is the best course of life <you need to look to God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit for guidance>

Some Safety Tips along the way:

Saftety Tips <related to discipleship>

• Be careful and alert. <be careful and alert>
• Use the right kind of equipment. <read the Bible, learn it, memorize it and pray with it>
• Seek professional instruction. <seek the Lord's instruction>
• Take a class, hire a guide or go with an experienced climber. <get involved in a mini-church, men's group and accountability>
• Don't overexert yourself. Stay within your limits. <learn to rest, God taught us to rest on the Sabbath - we need margin in our lives>
• If you're injured, wait until you're healed before climbing again. <if injured, give yourself time to heal>
• Avoid areas where there is a lot of loose rock. <avoid areas where sin is prevalent>
• If you displace a rock or drop a piece of equipment, yell "Rock!" to warn others. <if you encounter sin or temptation, yell for help, sing praise and worship and call a friend>
• If someone else yells "rock," don't look up. You don't want to get smacked in the face. <if someone else yells at you to avoid sin, don't keep going don't go that way>
• Test foot and handholds before using them. <test everything and examine yourself along the way>
• Don't climb in bad weather. <don't climb and reach in story seasons - know your limits>
• Watch out for birds, snakes or other critters residing in handholds. <watch out for old sin habits, demons and spiritual warfare>
• Always safety-check your harness, rope, belay device and knots before climbing. <always safety check your disciple equipment:  The Word, Prayer, Accountability and so on>
• Wear a helmet when climbing outdoors. <wear the helmet of Salvation in daily spiritual warfare>
• Know and trust your belayer. <know and trust your Savior>

What are some of your life lessons?

Be Blessed,

D

Sons & Daughters

Romans 8:14  (NIV) 14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.2 Corinthians 6:18  (ESV) 18 and I will be a father to you,  and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

When you really think about the two verses listed above, it is really hard to grasp.  Think about it.  If you are like me, then you have kids and no matter how much they screw up, cause rifts and just like to whine - they are still my children and I will love them no matter what.  I would die for each one of them (including my wife) if I had to.  I love them, they are my family.

I think Christians sometimes have a really hard time grasping exactly what God did for us through His Son, Jesus Christ.  He sent His Son to die for us and to be the perfect sin-offering for our trespasses.  He loves us and did, in fact, die for us!  That being said, there is no more that is needed to be said - through His death and resurrection, we are made new and are righteous and counted as sons and daughters because we have been engrafted into God's family - AWESOME!

There is nothing we can do to earn this - God chooses us!

There is nothing that we can do to lose this - Once Saved - Always Saved!

Scripture tells us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling - this is for our pathway to sanctification through humility.

For some of us, the word family (or for that matter, Sons and Daughters) can be very painful.  Divorce, death, singleness, fill-in your blank, some of our definitions for family and or God may be painful memories.  I cannot fix this now do I challenge that this blog can do that - it can't.   What I can do for you is turn you to the source that can (God's word - the Bible and Prayer and His Son - Jesus Christ) - Get to know them - they will never let you down.

What are some of the things that you have taken from this?  What would you add?

Let me hear from you (what do you want to read about),

Blessings,

D

Are you a good listener?

The old adage of, "I know you can hear me, but are you really listening to me...." seems to be a recurring theme among men that I talk to both in life and in ministry.  The real problem here is that when you strip back the layers it really isn't just one-sided - rather, it takes two sides.Countless relationships find communication problems that start out small but end up monumental.  Others seem to let the little things pass them by and then realize over several years that these "minor problems" have become major and in some cases even ending relationships.

Why?  What is the root cause and how does it happen so quickly (look at the previous blog post and realize that we all have an enemy who roams the earth looking to devour - especially those who walk with God.

How to be a good listener:

• Step 1:  Be a good friend and listen to what the person (wife/husband/friend) is saying without interrupting or hearing what you want to hear and interjecting along the way
• Step 2:  Remember that God gave us 2 ears and only 1 mouth - I really think that this was for a reason:  Don't just hear, but listen to what is being said.
• Step 3:  Do not be quick to judge.  Be slow to speak and slow to become angry
• Step 4:  When you decide to work on being a good listener, then put down the phone, the texts, and turn your eyes upon the one who is talking to you.  This instantly shows them that they have your attention and respect.
• Step 5:  If you have distractions that you cannot control (phone, tv, computers, etc.,) remove them or mute them.
• Step 6:  Body language - make sure that you are giving them every sign and body movement that you are engaged and that the world (at this current juncture) could end and that the only thing that matters is them.
• Step 7:  Along the way, without being rude, cocky, ignorant or whatever could be deemed negative, ask the person to clarify when in doubt, or say something along the line of, "If I am listening to you correctly, I believe that you are saying...., or that you mean.... - and then ask them to clarify and then continue.
• Step 8:  Be intentional with your new-found listening skills and ask relevant and insightful questions in regards to the person, the situation and the subject.  This will have positive impacts for both you and the talker as both are feeling validated.
• Step 9:  Don't force the conversation.  Even if you know that they are holding back or not ready to fully open (and even if you know what could be said next - Don't say anything)  by listening and being a good listener, then you will show that you can be trusted (with listening) and that sooner or later that person may decide to open fully up to you.
• Step 10:  Regardless of the level of conversation, do not devalue it or make it seem like it is not relevant.  Whatever the topic or the issue or the conversation show the person (spouse or friend) that they matter, they are relevant and you do care about what they are saying
• Step 11:  Do not make light of it.  Do not discard it and do not blow it off.  If it is important to them, no matter what the subject, then value that person by valuing what is important to them regardless of your own feelings or knowledge
• Step 12: Pray before you talk, during and after for God to lead you the way that you should go.  Listen for the Spirit to guide you to either encouragement, comfort or urging of that person.

Men, whether we like it or not, God has intended us to be the Spiritual leaders.  That is a big necessity that is lacking in a lot of cultures.  Where are the men with integrity, honor, valor and the like?  Imagine if we all worked on being a better listener at home, school, work and community (and church) - what would that look like to those around us?  How do you think people would respond?

What are some of your steps?

Let's hear from you,

Dante

When we get this, the rest makes sense

In John Chapter 8, we read about Jesus talking to leader of their time, those who did not know Him and accept Him as Messiah, and we understand Jesus' very point in what is wrong in society today:   Galatians 5:¹⁹ Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, ²¹ envy,^[d] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

John 8:42-4

English Standard Version (ESV)

⁴² Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here. I came not of my own accord, but he sent me. ⁴³ Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word. ⁴⁴ You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies."

Understand this:

• The Devil is a liar
• The Devil is a murderer
• The Devil does not understand truth
• When he lies he is speaking his native tongue
• The Devil is a liar
• The Devil is the father of all lies

No matter what we think, say or do, we have to convince ourselves that Jesus truly means what he says about one of His Angels - the fallen Angel Lucifer - he is a liar.  Therefore, anything that is of God's plan, Satan wants to destroy.  God said to us in Genesis - Be fruitful and multiply!  The devil says divorce, quite, hate (murder) those that you know you should really love.  God says that we are to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, mind, soul, body and strength and the second is like the first:  Love our neighbor as ourselves.  The Devil says that we are to love self and hate others.  He wants us to gossip, slander, malign and be captured by our very lusts and pleasures in life (after all society tells us so greatly how much we need it).

Sometimes we hear people say things like:

• I cannot wait to die and go to hell and be with my friends who love the world
• You Christians are boring, what do you know about pleasure
• Don't be so rigid, live a little
• How can a God of love cast people into Hell and the Lake of Fire?  I don't want to serve a God like that...

Sometimes we hear and see Christians shrink behind God's truth and our freedoms that our forefathers understood what is so important to us in this Country of ours the United States of America:

THE BILL OF RIGHTS

The first ten amendments to the Constitution, or the Bill of Rights, set forth the priceless rights or freedoms that all Americans may enjoy. A brief summary of these great freedoms is given here.

FREEDOM OF RELIGION

The first right, or freedom, guaranteed in the Bill of Rights is freedom of religion. This right is guaranteed in the First Amendment. Freedom of religion guarantees to all Americans the right to practice any religion they choose, or to practice no religion at all.

Congress is forbidden to establish any religion as our nation's official religion. Congress cannot favor any one religion over others or tax citizens in order to support any one religion.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH

The right to express your ideas and opinions when you speak is called freedom of speech. Freedom of speech also means the right to listen to the thoughts and opinions of others. This freedom guarantees that Americans are free to express their thoughts and ideas about anything. They may talk freely to their friends and neighbours or speak in public to a group of people. Of course, no one may use his freedom of speech to injure others. If a person knowingly says things that are false about another, he may be sued in court by the person or persons who believe they have been harmed by what he said.

Americans are free to express opinions about their government or anything else. They are free to criticize the actions of the government and of government officials. In a dictatorship, where the nation's government has all the powers, the people have no right to speak like this. They do not dare to criticize the actions of the government. If they do, they may be imprisoned. But all Americans enjoy the freedom of speech, which is guaranteed in the First Amendment.

FREEDOM OF THE PRESS

The freedom to express your ideas and opinions in writing is known as freedom of the press. This freedom is closely related to freedom of speech and is also guaranteed by the First Amendment.

Freedom of the press gives all Americans the right to express their ideas and thoughts freely in writing. This writing may be in newspapers, books, magazines, or any other printed or written form. Americans are also free to read what others write. They may read any newspaper, book or magazine they want. Because they are free to read a variety of facts and opinions, Americans can become better-informed citizens.

FREEDOM OF ASSEMBLY

Another priceless freedom guaranteed by the First Amendment is freedom of assembly, or freedom to hold meetings. Americans are free to meet together to discuss problems and to plan their actions. Of course, such meetings must be carried on in a peaceful way.

FREEDOM OF PETITION

The freedom of petition is the right to ask your government to do something or to refrain from doing something. The First Amendment contains this guarantee, also. The freedom of petition gives you the right to write to your Congressman and request him to work for the passage of laws you favor. You are free to ask him to change laws that you do not like. The right of petition also helps government officials to know what Americans think and what actions they want the government to take.

THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS

The Second Amendment to the Constitution guarantees Americans the right to bear arms. In the early years of our nation, Americans needed weapons in order to serve in the militia, or volunteer armies, that were established to defend our states. The militia provided protection during emergencies, too. Many Americans also believed that without weapons they would be powerless if the government tried to overstep its powers and rule by force.

"NO-QUARTERING" RIGHT

The Third Amendment states, "No soldier shall, in times of peace, be quartered in any house. . . ." Under British rule, the colonists sometimes had to feed and house British soldiers against their will. As a result, Americans wanted this practice forbidden under the Bill of Rights.

THE RIGHT TO EQUAL JUSTICE

The Bill of Rights contains many rights that are guaranteed to persons accused of a crime. Amendments Five, Six, Seven, and Eight are all concerned with these rights. Our nation places great importance on these rights in order to guarantee equal justice for all Americans.

A person must be indicted, or formally accused of a crime, by a group of citizens called a "grand jury" before he can be brought into court for trial.

A person accused of a crime is guaranteed the right to know what law he is accused of breaking.

A person accused of a crime has a right to a prompt public trial by a jury of his fellow citizens.

An accused person cannot be put into prison and kept there for weeks or months while awaiting a trial. He has the right to leave jail, in most cases, if he can raise a certain sum of money, or bail, as a pledge that he will appear at his trial.

An accused person has a right to a lawyer to represent him in court.

All the testimony and evidence against an accused person must be presented publicly in court.

The accused person has the right to call any witnesses to appear if their testimony will help him.

The accused person cannot be forced to testify or give evidence against himself.

If the accused person is found guilty, he cannot be given cruel or unusual punishment. If the accused person is found not guilty of a serious crime, he cannot be tried a second time for this same crime.

THE RIGHT TO OWN PRIVATE PROPERTY

The Fifth Amendment guarantees Americans the right to own private property. No person may take away anything that we own. Nor can the government seize our land, money, or other forms of property without cause, or without paying for it. The right to own private property is one of America's basic freedoms. Our free economic system is based upon this right.

THE RIGHT TO ENJOY MANY OTHER FREEDOMS

To make doubly sure that Americans should enjoy every right and freedom possible, Amendment Nine was added to the Constitution. This amendment states that the list of rights contained in the Bill of Rights is not complete. There are many other rights that all Americans have and will continue to have even though they are not mentioned in the Bill of Rights. Among them are the following.

Freedom to live or travel anywhere in our nation

Freedom to work at any job for which we can qualify

Freedom to marry and raise a family

Freedom to receive a free education in good public schools

Freedom to join a political party, a union, and other legal groups

As a final guarantee of our rights, the Tenth Amendment set aside many powers of government for the states. This Amendment says that all powers not given to the federal government by the Constitution, nor forbidden to the states, are set aside for the states, or for the people. This provision leaves with the states the power to act in many ways to guarantee the rights of their citizens.

SUMMARY

Government is the authority or power that people establish to help them run their affairs.

Governments serve many important purposes, but the most important one is that government makes it possible for people to live and work together. Government provides us with rules of conduct we can follow. Government makes it possible for people to live by known laws, and helps provide many services that citizens acting alone could not perform themselves.

Our nation's government is based on the American Constitution. This Constitution, together with its Bill of Rights and other amendments, provides us with a workable plan of government. The Constitution also guarantees to all Americans many priceless rights and freedoms.

Our nation's government is based upon the approval, or consent, of the people who are governed. It is a federal system in which certain powers are given to the national government and other powers are left to the states and to the people. Certain powers are shared by both federal and state governments. In both federal and state governments, powers are separated and balanced among three branches of government.

---------

Understand this:  The Devil wants to destroy the very essence of God's will for our lives - to have an abundant life and to be saved by His Son - Jesus Christ.

• Love the Lord
• Let Go and Let God
• Repent, turn and serve God
• Seek first the Kingdom of God
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Don't forget, the devil wants to destroy every good and righteous things in your life.

Blessings,

D

Time flies by...

[youtube id="F2bk_9T482g"]As my family and I drove home from a parade in the town next to ours, I was flooded with childhood memories from when my mom and dad took my sister and I to parades in our hometown.  I love how my dad really did the little things that meant so much to me.  As I reflect on these things, my father is 86 years old and lives in assisted living near my sister nine hours away from me.  He is Parkinson's Disease and is slipping daily both literally and figuratively.   My mom went home (to Heaven) in March of 2011 and I cannot believe how time flies by.

I posted this video from the movie UP as my family and I watched the end of this movie right before bedtime for the girls.  I YouTube'd the video and found the beginning of their relationship until the end.  There is a great secular book called, Tuesday's with Maurie, and there is a line from the book that says, "Death ends and life but not a friendship".  That is so true both in the secular world and in the spiritual world.  There is so much of my parents good in me that I cannot even begin to count the blessings.  Of course, there are things that I wished that I could have had throughout my childhood that I didn't and things that I wished that I could have avoided and didn't - the pain that came with it but wasn't prepared spiritually by my dad (he wasn't a Christian at those times).

I think when we treat each day as a gift rather than a burden we can begin to move toward a posture of gratitude and respect for the One who gives it to us each and every day.   Life is a gift and our breaths are numbered by the Creator who knows when each of us have an appointment to die.  There are simple truths in life that no matter what we do cannot be avoided - death and taxes and the Judgement of God.  With all this being said, time flies by.  1 Peter 3:7, "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace."  James 4:14, "Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.  What is your life?  For you are  a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."

I remember when I was a boy there was a lady friend who was very affluent and she took kindly to me and my education.  Her nickname was Miss Lee (that is what all the kids called her when she was a teacher).  She was also an antique dealer who was doing work for my parents and she made me promise that I would finish college and also pursue my Masters Degree (which I did) and in turn of this promise she ended up gifting me my room with some collectibles that she gave to me free of charge.  My wife and I to this day use that Clerk's Desk in our family room.  Miss Lee said one thing very provocative to me, "Dante, make the best use of your time, because when you blink, you will be my age."  I always took that comment at a glance, but the older I get, the taller my children become and the gray in my hair are constant reminders of her truth.

What does this mean for our legacy dads?  What is this post saying to you?  For me, it is simple, there are things that have been slapping me upside the head this week that have become almost comical in my life and it is forcing me to practice what I preach on this blog.

For Starters:

I will...

• ...play more with my children
• ...read more with my children
• ...read more with my wife (more devotions and conversations)
• ...be more active in leading both physically and spiritually
• ...make the best use of my time through work, chores, playtime and rest

I will not...

• ...surrender time to my IPAD or Desktop or Computer
• ...waste time for lazy pleasure
• ...settle for mediocrity
• ...turn away from God by wasting my time

When I think of how fast things are moving by me, I can choose to be a reactive parent or a proactive parent, husband and leader of my family.  The only regret that I want on my tombstone is that my loved ones say that they wish more people would have gotten to know the influence I had in their lives.  The more people that could have looked a my life and instead of seeing me - they see the love of Jesus.

For me and my house, we choose to serve the Lord with all of our time, talent and treasure!!!

What is your choice today?

Blessings,

Dante

Stewardship of Time - Managment

My friends would consider me very organized and on the ball.  They would say that I am either very anal retentive and or OC (and not the D - obsessive and compulsive).  The way that people have described me to others are either you will take him (really love him) or you won't -there is no in between.  I can say that God has matured me in many ways, from an aging father and deceased mother to a husband and father of 3 beautiful kids to a flourishing ministry and work life.  He has humbled me in maturity with the responsibility that He has trusted me in.  Sometimes I wake up and take inventory and cannot believe that I get to live this life.One of my biggest stresses are "to-do lists".  Without them, I would be lost, with them I can sometimes be overwhelmed (what about you?).  The problem with these lists is that I sometimes make them an idol (meaning I cannot disconnect my brain from these lists and thereby I sort of let them rule my mind):

Colossians 4:5 (ESV) 5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.

Psalm 90:12 (ESV) 12 So teach us to number our days  that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Why do we worry about what gets done and doesn't get done?  Why do we let that become an idol in my life?  How can we change my thought process into less of my time and making more intentional things in my life be about God's timing?  Proverbs 16:9 (ESV) The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.  It is easy for any of us to get lost in translation and so much harder when we try to cope by worldly standards - our problem (we do not belong to the world for we were bought with a price).  Therefore,

Step 1:  Change our logic?

• We are not our own, we were bought with a price.  Therefore, I am not my own god (small "g") instead I am a child of God.  Therefore my time no longer belongs to me - it's HIS!

Step 2: What matters most?

• Prioritize our lives (God, Family, Work/Church and Friends)

Step 3: Prioritize what matters most:

• Are we building relationship with God or just knowledge of Him?  He wants more for us then to just know Him - He wants our friendship
• Are we serving God with our Time, Talent and Treasure (don't worry about talent and treasure, yet, we have to get the time part going in the right direction)

Step 4:  Don't sweat the big things (Mathew 6 on worry), instead focus a one degree change on tackling the little stuff

• This allows us not to be overwhelmed
• This gives us some value in that you are accomplishing some things
• The Bigger Things that are on our list seem to get small once the little stuff starts getting accomplished

Step 5:  Prayer continually

• This Step should really be wrapped in between and woven throughout all previous steps and steps to come
• This Step should be our guide for God's will and not our own

Step 6:  Find accountability

• Join a men's group
• Join a Bible believing Bible study
• Find brothers who can help
• Confess to our brothers and first and foremost to the Lord

Step 7:  Take inventory on the changes made

• Is it making a difference
• How are others around us reacting
• Is God moving in our life

Colossians 3:15-16

English Standard Version (ESV)

15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms

and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Have a blessed day,Dante

Men are having a hard time being men....

[vimeo id="63220741"] 

"Men are having a hard time being men...first of all you have all the addictions:  The pornography, the gambling, the alcohol, cocaine, the food - all that...you also have all the brokenness and so on....", by John Eldredge.  What do you do with all this evidence for men.  It all falls back to the deep wound that men incur or have had happened to them when they are younger.  What needs to happen here, is that we need to heal the heart of man.  We need to have men in the word everyday and praying every day so that the Holy Spirit will do His work in us.

CRISIS - YOU NEED TO HEAL THE HEART OF MEN - by John Eldredge

Proverbs talks about this:

Proverbs 20:5

English Standard Version (ESV)

The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

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This past Friday, I got home from a long work week and finished some afternoon reports, work around the house and was just taking a moment to spend on my IPAD when my son came and asked me if he and I could watch the move Courageous.  I told him that I would be there in ten minutes to watch with him.  Ten minutes later, my wife stopped acting like a wife and became my proverbial mother and politely reminded me of my manhood and father responsibilities:  To be a legacy dad, I have to get in the game.  I got up and sat next to him on the couch and watched the entire movie with just him and I.  There was a lot of biblical truth and so forth in this movie.  As a matter of point, Lance and I joke about there resolution and believe that they took a lot of that from www.legacydad.com (okay, so we all agree - we stand on the Word of God).

The most awesome part of me getting "out of the boat" and engaged with my son is that I could have missed this ever so important conversation about faith and value and legacy with my 10 year old son if I would have continued to put myself first.  I would have missed the opportunity of showing my son that he is first and he and his two sisters are the forefront of my spiritual assignment and mission field given to me by God.  Not only do I have to be leader of my house, I have to be actively involved in the every day process.

After the kids were tucked in bed and my wife was working on some projects, I finished my Saturday morning "Facilitator Lead" to talk with men.  I had asked our senior pastor over years of pastoring/counseling what he thought were the top three things that men struggle with, he said, "Significance, Lust and Anger".  On Saturday, we covered the following bible verses:  Ephesians 2:1-3, Proverbs 6:16-19, 12:1, 15:3, 28:13-14; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 and Psalms 139:23-24.

And then we read Hebrews 12:1-15, James 5:19-20.

I asked the following questions:

1. What do we struggle with the most?
2. Why do we do the same thing over and over again (the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time).
3. Why do we try to be god-like (selfish, bitter and idolatry)?
4. Why do we settle for mediocrity in life, marriage and happiness (things that hold us back: pornography, hate, lust, anger, addicitions)?
5. What is your sin?

In the beginning of our men's ministry on Saturday morning, we have worship, then we have large group (what i discussed above) and then from 7:10 to roughly 8am we break into small groups and for 30 minutes discuss the topic and pointed questions and then we pray and confess and carry each other's burdens.  This is a huge relational ministry and I love seeing the fruit that God is giving it.  Our secret, we open the word, we worship together, we pray together and we share life together - and the Holy Spirit does the rest - AMEN!

So after watching the movie, Courageous, with my son on Friday and after leading Men of Faith on Saturday, I confessed these things in my small group:

• I am lazy and slothful (downright selfish at times) and I need to step it up
• I am the leader of my house (I need to act like it more)
• I married my wife and my best friend (not my mom) so I need to stop putting her in that situation to act like my mom
• I set the tone for the family and the direction (if I get engaged they will respond)
• I need this Men of Faith and accountability partners to keep me honest, humble and growing toward being God's disciple
• I need to be the Legacy Dad (round the clock)

If I am serious the my spiritual role as Elder, Men's Ministry Leader and so on, then I will have to be intentional with my family, my church, my community and my work.  If I am striving to be the man that God wants me to be, then I will take His Word seriously all the time and build relationship with the Holy Trinity.

I am a disciple, I am a man of faith and I am a legacy dad!

Esse quam videri!

Blessings,

Dante