6 Ways To Build Everyday Character Into Our Children: Part 1

In the late 90's, Dr. Thomas Stanley of the University of Georgia set out to research and discover the traits of the top leaders, innovators and achievers in various professional industries. Dr. Stanley's goal was to find out what made these achievers different then the rest of the population and how we too could be more like them. Dr. Stanley's colleagues initially thought Intelligence (GPA), Top College Attendance and Luck would rank among the top factors for these achievers success. But these factors did not even make the top 10 list.faith3

After thousands of interviews, Dr. Stanley discovered that a person's intelligence (Most of the subjects were B and C students), college attendance nor luck had much to do with their overall achievement. Almost all of the top 10 factors cited by thousands of these achievers and leaders were character traits learned in the home or through life experience and work.

Therefore (according to Stanley's research) if we as parents want to truly give our children an advantage in life, we should focus on modeling and building character into our children each and every day.

In this series we will explore 6 ways we can build character into our children on a daily basis:

#1 - Faith

Hebrews 11 describes faith as being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Faith becomes a character trait when it starts to manage our children's day-today choices while providing moral leadership.  Too many Christian children today are learning to play church and religion rather than learning faith and trust in God.  Sadly, parents are often the culprits behind this shallow faith.  As parents, we love our children and desire to have them right with Gd but we must be careful to let God draw our children to Himself and His time table.  Many Christian parents try to circumvent the power of the Holy Spirit by forcing their faith on their children out of the fear that they are not yet saved.

Research by the Fuller Youth Institute discovered that many Christian children are simply going through the motions to appease mom and dad's wishes rather than fully embracing Christ and developing their own faith.   This leads to many Christian children who have the appearance of being saved but ultimately they end of leaving the faith once they leave mom and dads house.

As parents, we must model our faith and expose our children to Christianity but not push them too hard for immediate results.  Prayer and the consistent practice of our own faith will model and prepare our children's hearts to place their faith in Jesus Christ when they are ready and when they have made the decision for themselves.

I'd rather have patience and see my child come to know Christ in High School on a missions trip, of their own volition and through the power of the Holy Spirit, then to run them up to the altar when they are 8 years old and ask them to give their hearts to Christ.  The Fuller Youth Institute learned that quite often, children are putting their faith in their parents faith not in Christ.

Here are six ways to build faith into your child on a daily basis:

1. Read your Bible daily and let your children see you spending time in the Word and in prayer.

2. Pray regularly at meal times and bedtime but also spontaneously (a homeless man on the street, when passing a car accident, with someone going through life struggles) to illustrate the power of prayer to your children.

3. Lead your children in a weekly Bible study and talk about your faith and the teachings of the story.  My family is currently watching The Bible miniseries that came out last year and discussing each story afterwards.

4.  Show your children your family tree and talk about relatives and their faith.  If you are a first generation Christian, talk about how all your ancestors after you will have glory in Heaven because of your decision.

5. Have your children listen to the testimonies of friends, family, and other adults and how it has impacted their lives.

6. Take your children on an outing or sports event that involves faith in other people or equipment.  illustrate how trusting in God is the same as trusting in the equipment or people.

Stay tuned for our next trait:  Integrity

Encouragement - Verse of the day

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Philippians 4:6-7

New International Version (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Some questions for you:

  • What are you worried about?
  • What do you need prayer about?
  • What do you need to confess about?
  • Who is holding you accountable?
  • Who do you have praying for you?
  • How are you guarding your heart?
  • How are you guarding your mind?

Romans 12:1-2

New International Version (NIV)

A Living Sacrifice

12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Colossians 3:1-10

New International Version (NIV)

Living as Those Made Alive in Christ

3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

In all that we do - pray! Pray often!  Pray before, during and after.

Blessings,

Dante

PS- It is that time again- please send Lance and I some topics that you want us to talk about email us here:  dante@legacydad.com  and lance@legacydad.com

 

 

 

 

Top 10 Signs that you are a true disciple of Christ

Often you will hear a man of God say to you that if you really want to know where Jesus stands in someone's life - open their checkbook.  Other men say that when you look on a person then you should see more of Jesus and less of that person to see a true disciple of Jesus.toptenWith that being said, What are the top 10 Signs of being a true disciple of Jesus Christ?

1. The disciple shows his/her love for Christ (by keeping his word and commandments close to his/her heart - not just hearing the words but doing what they say).

2. The disciple abides in this love of Christ (signs of peace and of patience and of true kindness)

3. The true disciple bears the fruit (Read Galatians 5)

4. The disciple is in fellowship with the Spirit, the Word and daily meditates on the word paving God's pathway for the disciple every day

5. The disciple bears witness for what God has done for him (sent His only Son to die for our sins - Jesus is the way, the truth and the life...)

6.  The disciple is a friend of Jesus, that is, the disciple just doesn't know who Jesus is, rather, the disciple calls Him friend

7. The disciple believes in the power of prayer.  Prays continually and trusts that not their will be done - but God's will be done.  The Lord gives and He takes away but blessed be His name

8. The disciple bears joy in all situations (even through trial and tribulation the disciple will exude pain and suffering and emotional suffering, but will ultimately find the joy of the Lord)

9. The disciple exudes the truth behind Romans 12 and Colossians 3

10.  The disciple is humble and repents when necessary.  The disciple is able to discern good from evil and flees the course of evil at all times.
What are your some of your top 10?
Blessings,D

Blurred Clarity

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted and there is good reason (or excuses) behind this fact.  The past few months, I’ve been searching and praying, wondering what God has in store next for Legacy Dad and our vision.clarity

Often I feel like this whole thing is a waste of time.  I feel like my words fall on deaf ears or my words are constantly met with resistance.  Even though in my heart, I feel what I am doing is true, I could jump on any Christian parenting website and be criticized to death by naysayers.  I often wonder if parents are just too proud to change and admit that maybe, just maybe I’m right about a few things or am I just delusional and wrong?

When I teach parenting conferences, I often see plenty of heads nodding but wonder how many go home and really commit to lasting change?  I offer free parenting resources worth hundreds of dollars and no one wants them?

After a while, even if you’re the most positive person, this weighs on your heart and makes you question your efforts.

One of the biggest comments I’ve heard from men and pastors is that there are very few parenting resources for men.  I’m also astonished when I hear that when it comes to parenting, most men defer their leadership role to their wives and simply take a ride in their wife’s purse rather than being the spiritual leader God has called us to be.

Further disconcerting is the statistics that when men don’t lead, families and our children suffer.

93% of families will follow when the father takes an active role in his faith and walk with Christ.  When fathers are not active in their faith, 60% of children stop attending church or leave the faith altogether even if their mother still attends regularly.

Maybe that’s the point?

Focus on the men.  Change the man, change the family?

- Lance

Worry & Procrastination....

prorastinationWe apologize that we haven't updated LD in a while, but as always the case out with the old and in with the New Year has LegacyDads really busy.  Between our kids, our ministries and our work not to mention all the demands of being husband/dad, you can all probably relate to this.  Somehow, I had the grand illusion that as our kids got older the less we would be required to do - boy do I have that wrong.Which leads me to this post:  Worry & Procastination

I was reading this article about the tops sins of men (particularly in America) and was struck that the Barna Suvery did not put the "Big Ones" in the top 2 slots, rather, they put Worry and Procastination (aka laziness and idleness and slothfulness) on the top two slots.   When I really ponder to think on this, I think that for men in America that is really true.  Let's be honest, if we truly took stock of our lives (in other words pick yours:  Your bills/filing, your investments, your Garage, your closet, your computer, your to-do lists, your empty promises to your wife and kids that begin with either, "okay", "in a minute" or "i will get to that next week") if these fill in your blanks then you have related to me - if we didn't cover them then please comment on this so I can add that to my likely list.

worry plaqueSeriously, since my mom died over 2 years ago, I have seen my dad (who could do it all - litterally) take a back seat to everything and let the world pass him by.  This means that I have the estate to manage, the propterty that is unsold to manage and the tax and bills and so on that go with it.  On top of that add to my daily jaunts in life:  God, Family, Work and every day life and you can hopefully empathize with me on this subject.   Life is hard enough, especially in a world that seems to take unbiblical paths in managing debt - you cannot spend your way out of a crisis without consequence.   My wife and I are working on some house projects which leads to me to realize that some times we just have too much stuff - what are we teaching our kids.  The name of this game in 2014 is back to the basics - I mean yes, I have my passions and my hobbies and my media tablets that assist in this process, but as for my wife and I and our family - we will be taking a much more biblical pace to 2014.

My role as a husband and father is supposed to be the spiritual leader of my household.  To raise and train up our children to love the Lord with all the heart, strength soul and mind.  To fear him who can sepearate bone from marrow.  To love him with reckless abandon.  To have a real and loving relationship with Jesus Christ and to share the Gospel to our world the best that we can (sometimes just letting our actions and service do the talking as much as we can).  The second is to teach them to be independent and confident.  Not to be insecure and not to worry and stress out about things that we can never control and/or change the outcome.  We need to teach them to use their gifts and stewardship of time talent and treasure to serve God's Kingdom and not our own.  This is a task that does not sleep, does not wait and has a limited time before they are no longer under our tutilege.  All of this being sais is that there will be a reckoning in each and everyone of our lives - the Judgement Seat of Christ.  For those of us who call him Savior and are written in the Lambs Book of Life - we will be robed in white and we will be judged on what we did for God through His Son and Spirit to further his kingdom.

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Worry - why?  What does it profit me to gain the whole world and lose my own soul.  Why worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow may never come.

 

 

Procrastinate - well that is my cross to bear these next few months - time to step it up!  After all, Pastor Matt Chandler said at #ActLikeMen, that a bored man in the house is a very dangerous thing - who has time to be bored (I am usually exhausted by bedtime).  Instead, I am making an effort to live the life that I want to teach my children:I will be accountable to God with my talent, with my time and with my treasure:

  • God comes first
  • My quiet time and daily reading comes second
  • I will serve my wife and kids to the best of my abillity - before this I will let go and let God have them (he can take care of things much better than I can!)
  • I will listen for his prompting and leading
  • I will not worry (when I do - I have accountability that will shred that from me)
  • I will not procrastinate any more (Lord - hear this prayer!)

What are some of yours?

Blessings,

Dante

 

How will you measure your life...

dietoselfThis past week I received an email from someone who I respect very much in the work force and who plays a good mentor in a lot of young peoples lives.   There is an article that was sent in an email about how those of us that can have input in the way we do life could make a difference in other peoples lives.   If you click on this link:  How will you measure your life, then you can read the article in its entirety.   This article prompted me to make this our topic this weekend in our men's group this Saturday morning.  Click on this for the Power Point that I will be presenting:  How will you measure your lifeAs we begin 2014, I wanted to challenge each of us with a few thoughts in life - in the way that we do every day.  Whatever your background, whatever gifts, your talents and/or your treasure, what mark you leave in this life depends on how you define all of your efforts with Jesus Christ.  Whether you are rich, poor, well fed or hungry.  Whether you are blessed in good health or suffering in trial and tribulation.  Whether you are lonely or questioning why God has you were you are at - there is only one choice to make:  How will you measure your life?  How will you define who you are?  What legacy will you leave for those who come behind you?

Legacy Dad is more than just about Lance and I and our writings - it is deeper than that.  It is about God's truth in our lives.  It is about making a difference as husbands, fathers, mentors, friends and disciples of Christ.  What mark will you leave?  How will people remember you?  What you do everyday - is that making a difference for your life or for God's Kingdom?

Here are some challenges for 2014:

  • Be humble in all circumstances
  • Love and live life like it could be your last day on earth
  •  Know your priorities
  • Ask this question - "what matters most in my life...?
  • Be responsible for your personal walk (in life, in discipleship, in spiritual growth and so on)
  • Put accountability in your life
  • Be accountable (no matter what)
  • Pray, read God's word and listen for at least an hour a day (morning or noon or night - whatever works)
  • See where God takes you in 2014

In all you do - Coram Deo!

Blessings,

Dante

 

 

 

The Best Christmas Present Ever....Jesus Christ (Savior of the World)

Colossians 1:15-19 (ESV)  The Preeminence of Christ

15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by[a] him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell,"

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For many of us, we were blessed to enjoy a Christmas Eve Service at our church.  Our kids were able to be part of the Candlelight song and worship time.   The anticipation building to a wonderful night of hope and excitement.  You can listen to them in their beds excited for what presents may come in the morning.  Can you feel it in the air?  Can you tell that something is different this time of year?  Christmas lights, decorations and giddy children are anticipating Christmas Day - the days when all the mayhem and excitement is met with huge anticipation and glee and then in a flash and just a moment all the presents are unwrapped and devoured.  Presents are played with for the ensuing weeks and some, even some, can last a very long time.

I often think about the gift of salvation with a God who understands that there is nothing that we could have done, could do, or will ever be able to do to bring us closer and justified to a Holy God.  So, knowing this, and knowing all of our shortcomings - we cannot be trusted - we sin every day - God does the unimaginable and sends his Son to earth to be born of a virgin in a lowly manger (a manger which feeds animals) to bear the sin of the world.  As I unwrap this present throughout the year, I cannot help but think that this is a God who I want to know more and more everyday.   This is the Son who I want to shine his light to the world.  He deserves it!  He alone - earns it.  jesus birth

As a legacy dad, I hope to be able to instill the importance of this gift to my children.  I pray to God that He will call them to be his and that they will do more than accept this gift - I pray that they will live this gift to the fullest.

I cannot help but think and believe in my heart that this truly is the best Christmas Present ever:  Jesus Christ, Savior of the world!

Merry Christmas to all!

Blessings from Lance and Dante.