Raising my son and daughters thru difficult times in my life

“The man of pseudo faith will fight for his verbal creed but refuse flatly to allow himself to get into a predicament where his future must depend upon that creed being true. He always provides himself with secondary ways of escape so he will have a way out if the roof caves in. What we need very badly these days is a company of Christians who are prepared to trust God as completely now as they know they must do at the last day.”  A. W. Tozer, The Root of the RighteousThese past 3 weeks have been trying at the least.  I was in South America the last two weeks visiting Argentina, Uruguay and Brazil.  The second Monday of the trip, as I called to talk to the family, my wife passed the phone to my middle child.  My daughter was crying and told me that she missed me so much and wanted me to be home soon.  When I returned, I missed the funeral of the wife of an Elder due to my travel and then this past Thursday (two weeks after he buried his wife) he went home to be with his wife and Savior.  Another Elder and I visited a man, who is single, and is raising a son by himself.  He was diagnosed with cancer and had two surgeries these past two weeks – and doesn’t know how and why to make sense of this. 

On top of this, we have two weeks of Summer Camp at our Church and we are hosting four female college girls at our house.  They work long hours with so many kids an do such a stellar job in what they love doing – it is actually infectious to watch and witness.  As I got home today, my wife told me that she was exhausted from the week (likely from the last 3 weeks as she had to do it all without me 2 of the 3 weeks).  I found myself, this afternoon, for a brief moment feeling sorry for myself and falling into a rut – into a despression.  Work was extremely busy, the demands of dad seem to be increasing and my wife and I have been working with our son and youngest daughter these past few months (will talk about this one later).  The news that we received will be challenging and trying at times, but I heard something from a doctor friend that made so much sense to me that I had to write it down.  Okay, now that I think about it, I might as well spill it.  We know that my son is gifted and has been tested as twice exceptional, but we also knew that he has a learning disability (a processing disorder).  We have been working with this doctor to test him, analyze him and counsel him, us, his teachers on how to bridge these gaps along the way.  He is such a smart boy, it even amazes me that God has given him to my wife and I.  We want him to achieve his ability and to have a happy life along the way.  We pray that we make and do the right God-honoring decisions.  Anyway, as we learned the diagnosis about our son (and we are having our youngest daughter going through the same tests) the doctor said something that blew my mind:  The doctor said that when he has kids like this, he turns them to the Bible and has them read (memorize and study) the Bible.  Because in his experience, when they focus on what God’s will is for us, then they stop looking at the proverbial tree in front of them and are able to focus more on the “forest” of God’s will for our lives = wow!

These are things that Lance and Gary and I know.  THese are things that we write about.  I think what surprised me most is that i heard this from a doctor who is a physchologist and very qualified in his profession telling me how important the Word of God is for life!  (Deuteronomy 6; Galations 5 & 6; Romans 12; Colossians 3; 1 Timothy 6 and so so much more).  So as I was ranting about my stress and my life and my busyness, the Lord brought me to this place (that ever so quiet voice in your head and heart) that said to me, “Count your blessings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  I have a two brothers on this blog who mean the world to me.  Lance and I have been talking a lot about things that are coming down the pipeline (cannot wait to see where God takes us).  I have a wife who loves me without question, who is smart (okay, she did marry me?) and who is a great mother and wife.  I have three wonderful and happy and healthy children.  I have a great job.  I am an Elder at my church (and there is so much blessing in that role).  I am a leader in our Men’s Ministry.  I have men that lift me up, pray for me and carry my burdens.  I have two really good accountability partners.  I am content!count

The next time that I lead our men’s group (Men of Faith) I will be doing a lesson on 1 Timothy 6:

1 Timothy 6 English Standard Version (ESV)

6 Let all who are under a yoke as bondservants[a] regard their own masters as worthy of all honor, so that the name of God and the teaching may not be reviled. 2 Those who have believing masters must not be disrespectful on the ground that they are brothers; rather they must serve all the better since those who benefit by their good service are believers and beloved.

False Teachers and True Contentment

Teach and urge these things. 3 If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound[b] words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness, 4 he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, 5 and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain. 6 But godliness with contentment is great gain, 7 for we brought nothing into the world, and[c] we cannot take anything out of the world. 8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

Fight the Good Fight of Faith

11 But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 13 I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before[d] Pontius Pilate made the good confession, 14 to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, 16 who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen.

17 As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. 18 They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, 19 thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.

20 O Timothy, guard the deposit entrusted to you. Avoid the irreverent babble and contradictions of what is falsely called “knowledge,” 21 for by professing it some have swerved from the faith.

Grace be with you.[e]

Sometime life throws us into the trees in our life and instead we need to focus on God’s word and see the forest like God sees it!

Thoughts?

Let me know,

Dante

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Fathers, Mentors, Disciples of Christ

“Remember that mentor leadership is all about serving. Jesus said, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).”― Tony Dungy, The Mentor Leader: Secrets to Building People and Teams That Win Consistently

“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”

― Plato

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.”

― William Arthur Ward

getinvolved4Why are you here?  What is your purpose for living?  What should you be doing and giving with what God has given you?  How should I raise my child (children)?  Am I doing God's will?  What is God's will for my life?  Should I withhold good when it is in my power to act?  How can I (one man) make a difference?

Whether or not these are questions that you randomly ask yourself, at some time or another these themes keep popping back up in my head and my thoughts continue to ponder these questions over and over and over again.

I am writing this to followers of Jesus Christ (not unbelievers or just fans, but Followers).  That being said, if you do know know Christ as your personal Savior (google Romans Road of Salvation - or send us an email or find a bible believing/preaching church and ask their pastor/elders how to be saved.  For the rest of you that choose to continue to read this - thank you!  I would also beg for your input and thoughts into this post.   DiscipleshipTitle1

A while ago, Lance had put out what our readers wanted to hear more about and one of the responses was this:  "Sacrifice/love of fathers/mentors? Much like the examples of Abraham/Isaac, God/Jesus, Paul/Timothy."  I love this response and topic.  Jesus Christ called us to be disciples and not just fans not just pew sitters - he wants Kingdom builders and Heavy Hitters for His will (Not ours!).

If we are to truly be disciples of Christ then we have to sacrifice everything for Him and His will.

Let’s see what Jesus said about the cost of discipleship:“Luke 14:25-33 The Cost of Discipleship

25 Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple."

Let's put it this way, as disciples of Christ, we are called to pick up are Cross and carry it daily.  Does that sound easy, passive and unresponsive to God's will and plan for us?  When you weigh these two things, for me, it is easy to see that sacrifice is paramount here.  As fathers we are called to be fully engaged and to develop and rear are child to love the Lord with all his heart, soul, body, strength and mind.  We are also told to teach them to love their neighbor.  When we mentor - we sacrifice our valuable time.  We choose to put others (serve others) before we serve ourselves.

All throughout the Bible we see countless sacrifice of mentors, leaders, fathers and disciples keenly aware of the cost (even in their fears and weaknesses), but they all have Faith.  Jesus was unquestionably the greatest example for mentoring others - he walked with his disciples for 3 years with patience and tolerance and even when they still didn't get most of what he was saying - God knew that they had so much more in them - the Holy Spirit to do his Kingdom work and not theirs.

Less of me, more of God!  That is the posture I will take more often than not!

Your thoughts?

Dante

5 Reasons why it is worth having kids...

The top 5 Reasons why it is worth having kids:top5#5     You see everything for the first time again through the child's eyes — even the littlest of things are amazing.

#4     The meaning of life, the importance of life and the extravagance of life are all rolled into this little gift from God.

#3     We get to enjoy the miracle of child-bearing and the role of parenting...

#2     No matter how much pain and grief our kids cause us, we are reminded daily (hourly and by the seconds) just how much God loves us no matter what (God's love never fades, never runs out on us)

#1     We begin to understand just how much God loves us!

How Jesus Christ can impact fatherhood...

Lance had shared with me that our readers wanted to hear our thoughts on various topics.  This subject fascinates me because there is a wealth of knowledge given to us by our God through his Son in His Word.There are so many things in life that fascinate me.  Sometimes I feel like a kid in a candy store just for living on this earth.  I love movies, books, nature, hiking, running, riding, sports and so on.  I love to read, to write, to compose songs and to love my family and friends.  There are things in this life that can take up all of my time - if I let them.  And then there are situations, like the Boston Marathon, that bring me yet a step closer to realizing nothing else matters except my relationship with God's Son - Jesus and my family (who calls me husband and daddy).  

Unfortunately, there is a father who lost his 8 year old son and the rest of his family is injured badly due to the ignorance of two very young and dumb and misguided individuals.   Woe to you leaders who teach violence and destruction and things that our contrary to our Father's will (this will be another topic for discussion - later).  This breaks my heart and I have to be completely honest and tell you that I spent even more time kissing and hugging and playing with my kids this past week.  And praying, a lot of prayer.

Recently I had a young man email me a word file about marriage and fatherhood.  (Note:  He is not married, but is single).  We have been having a dialogue back and forth about the roles of husbands and of fathers.  I gave him a book by Derek Prince, Husbands and Fathers.  I highly recommend this book.  Derek highlights the importance of a covenant.  Marriage is key to a man becoming a husband and then he can become a father.  Before he becomes a father, there has to be a covenant.  Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman! (period!)  No lasting relationship can begin without a covenant.  Proverbs 2:17.  Malachi 2:13-14. 1 Peter 3:7.  The theory here is that God confides in those who fear him (Psalms 25:14), that is, he makes his covenant known to them.

There are 5 things that a husband is commanded to do:1) Love our wives 2) Be the Head of the household 3) Provide for your wife and your family 4) Wash his wife and family by teaching the Bible to is family and 5) Nourish and Cherish his wife and family.

Jesus Christ completely and utterly impacts fatherhood by what we read in Ephesians 5.  Just as Jesus died for the Church, we (Husbands and Fathers) need to die to our wives (family).  Repeat after me, "Less of me, more of God."  Again, repeat, "Less of me, more of God.".  That being said, what can we glean from Ephesians 5 & 6, Deuteronomy 6 and so much more in Proverbs and Job and Mathew and so on.  Simply said, as for you and your house - who will you serve this day?  As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

If we die to ourselves and decide to follow God's ways and not our ways, then we completely find the abundant life that he promises to those who love and fear him.

Contrary to culture of today, God has a plan.  God has a way (through His Son only) and God calls us to be His.  You see, Jesus obeyed his father's will.  Jesus suffered and died on the cross because that was his Father's will.   That all of our sins can and will be forgiven forever.  Because Jesus has integrity, has character, compassion, love and so much more, we can be saved from our sinful pasts.  There is no great friend than the one who lays down his life for others (for family).  We are adopted sons and daughters into God's family because of His Son.

When we embrace these truths.  When we listen to the Holy Spirit in our lives.  When we don't just hear the words of God, but do what they say, then we are transformed and are able to work the good that God the Father has in store for us through Jesus in us.  Through His Spirit guiding us.

When the Pharisees tried to trap and trick Jesus, they asked him, "Rabbi, what is the greatest commandment."  Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength...and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself."  All the other commandments hang on this.

Is there a better example for us, as Legacy Dads, then to die to self.  To radically change the way we live and let God live through us.  If we decide to love our wives and our children as we love ourselves (or better if need be)...then imagine what God has in store for you...

"If you believe what you like in the Gospel, and reject what you don't like, it is not the Gospel you believe, but yourself."  - St. Augustine of Hippo

Thoughts,

 

Dante

 

Top 10 Secrets For A New Dad

#1           LOVE YOUR WIFE (NO MATTER HOW BIG SHE GETS) AND IF SHE ASKS IF SHE LOOKS FAT – SAY “NO”!!!#2           TALK/SING TO THE BABY WHILE TOUCHING YOUR WIFE’S BELLY

THIS HAS PROVEN TO ME THAT LIFE BEGINS AT CONCEPTION. I MADE UP SONGS FOR ALL 3 KIDS AND WHEN THEY WERE INCONSOLABLE AFTER BIRTH I WOULD SING THESE SONGS TO THEM AND THEY WOULD IMMEDIATELY CALM DOWN

#3           TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AS PROPHET, PRIEST AND KING – SHOW YOUR WIFE (THE NEW MOTHER) THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE AND BE THERE WHEN SHE IS INSECURE.  PROVE TO HER THAT YOU CAN LISTEN, YOU CAN CARE, AND WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH, SHE CAN LEAN ON YOU

#4           DON’T STOP DATING YOUR WIFE.

AFTER SHE GIVES BIRTH AND HEALS TAKE HER OUT AND GIVE HER LOVE AND ATTENTION.  BE ATTENTIVE TO HER NEEDS AND DESIRES.

#5           ASK FOR BABY TIME ALONE

THERE WILL COME A TIME WHEN YOUR WIFE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS GOING TO EXPLODE (OVERSTRESSED, OVERTIRED, AND NERVES FRIED).  TELL HER THAT YOU WANT ALONE TIME WITH THE CHILD AND MAKE HER LEAVE THE HOUSE (TELL HER TO GO SHOPPING, DO HER NAILS, READ A BOOK, TAKE A BATH) AND TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD.  THIS WILL CREATE A HEALTHY BOND BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR CHILD AND STRENGTHEN THE BOND BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR WIFE.  WHEN SHE RETURNS YOU WILL SEE THAT “CRAZY LOOK” VANQUISHED.

#6           GIVE HER TIME

SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A CHILD OF YOURS.  DON’T BE SELFISH AND TELL HER WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS.  FILL HER NEEDS.  LOVE ON HER (WITHOUT EXPECTING BENEFITS).  MASSAGE HER FEET, HER BACK AND PAMPER HER.  WHEN HER BODY IS READY – SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW.

#7           BE A DAD, A FATHER AND A PARENT – NOT A BABYSITTER.

GOD HAS BLESSED YOU AND YOUR WIFE WITH A CHILD (NOT EVERYONE HAS THAT BLESSING).  BE ATTENTIVE.  BE A NURTURER.  READ BOOKS ON DAD (AN EXCELLENT BOOK IS BY DEREK PRINCE, “HUSBAND & FATHERS).  MAN UP!

#8           YOUR WIFE IS NOW CARRYING AND FEEDING TWO.   HER HORMONES ARE ON OVERLOAD.  ONE DAY SHE WILL BE GLEEING AND HAPPY AND OVER EMOTIONAL AND THE NEXT DAY SHE WILL LOOK AT YOU LIKE SHE WANTS TO HIT YOU WITH A FRYING PAN ASKING WHY YOU DID THIS TO HER BODY.  BE STRONG AND COURAGOUS.  BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR MANHOOD AND DON’T TAKE HER PERSONAL – SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE MEANS!top-secret

#9           DON’T FORGET #1 AND #8 AND START TO HELP AROUND THE HOUSE.  VACCUM, DISHES, CLEANUP AND FINISH (HELP AND PAINT AND DECORATE THE NEW BABY’S ROOM.

#10         REALIZE WHAT GOD EXPECTS OF FAMILY.  READ EPHESIANS 5, DEUTERONOMY 6 AND COLOSSIANS 3 AND ROMANS 12….WHEN IN DOUBT, PRAY! ALWAYS PRAY AND AS A REMINDER VERSE READ 1 PETER 3:7.

 

WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 10?

 

Dante