Job's Faith - ultimately shaken but not destroyed....

Often, I find myself reading the Word of God and realizing sometimes how much I shrink my faith, if even at the worst possible times I would have faith at all, given the many situations that life brings us:  Pain, suffering, trial, tribulation, joy, heartbreak, peace, war, and the like.  The week before Easter I spent time in the Book of John and as I said earlier listened to the entire CS Lewis's Screwtape Letters.  The point being, have I ever had that moment where the only place to turn was God?  Have I ever had that moment that brought me to my knees and where did my faith take me.As we begin to read,  Job 1, (ESV) Job's Character and Wealth  1 There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. ² There were born to him seven sons and three daughters. ³ He possessed 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 female donkeys, and very many servants, so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the east. ⁴ His sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. ⁵ And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed^[a] God in their hearts.” Thus Job did continually.

As a parent, we learn a path quickly in this journey, trust God, lean not on our own understanding but trust in God no matter what, pray to Him continually.  Lift up prayers to God the Father every day for our children who are walking with Him or walking away.  God loves them more than we, as parents ever can.

As we continue to read, we learn that there is a dialogue between God and Satan,

Job 1:6-22

English Standard Version (ESV)

Satan Allowed to Test Job

⁶ Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan^[a] also came among them. ⁷ The Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.” ⁸ And the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” ⁹ Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason? ¹⁰ Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. ¹¹ But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” ¹² And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.” So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.

Satan Takes Job's Property and Children

¹³ Now there was a day when his sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother's house, ¹⁴ and there came a messenger to Job and said, “The oxen were plowing and the donkeys feeding beside them, ¹⁵ and the Sabeans fell upon them and took them and struck down the servants^[b] with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” ¹⁶ While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “The fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and the servants and consumed them, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” ¹⁷ While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “The Chaldeans formed three groups and made a raid on the camels and took them and struck down the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” ¹⁸ While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “Your sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother's house, ¹⁹ and behold, a great wind came across the wilderness and struck the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young people, and they are dead, and I alone have escaped to tell you.”

²⁰ Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. ²¹ And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

²² In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.

This is a hard part of the story as we realize that his faith is tested and that God is sovereign and that no matter what, Satan can do nothing without God.  God is in control!!!  The hard part of this story, for me, is that in a shadow of an eye and a blink of the light, everything is gone- Everything.  The only thing left was his wife and him and a few servants bearing the bad news.  Job's response amazes me and makes me question my faith, And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Just when  you thought that nothing could get worse, Job's best friends come to be with him.  At first you think this could be good, they will lay out their hands for him and comfort him and encourage him and urge him to live a life worthy of God, instead they virtually condemn him and say that surely there must be something in his life that is unrepentant and that he needs to turn toward God.  They go on and on in their discourses about the wisdom of God and what God's opinions would be on all this matter.

This should be a careful warning for us all:  Do not try to speak for God, let His words of truth do.  In everything look for God's fruit, if you see it, then don't condemn it.  If you don't see it then help the person(s) look for it.  And if you see the fruit of the sinful nature present, then ask for God's wisdom and discernment in how to handle it (if God wants you involved at all).

There is a moment of that knee bending faith that came to me about 5 years ago and then again 4 years ago - I almost lost my wife to a rare situation that almost brought her body to renal failure.  To this day we do not know how it happens but we know that when she has fevers it triggers that mechanism which breaks down the muscle in her body which overruns the body in which cause life threatening issues, needless to say, thank you Lord that the past few years have been without incident (although this week she has encountered a bad cold which has led to some fevers - praise God that they have not triggered anything!).  After the first episode five years ago, my wife was hospitalized for 6 days.  I had nowhere to go, no place to turn except the Word of God and for friends and loved ones to pray, to pitch in and to comfort my family (I thank God for these people in my life).  My life and my world were turned upside down.  At this time I had a two-year old, and 4 and 5-year-old - what was I to do (after this my outlook and respect for single parents completely changed).  By day four, I was deep into Colossians, Romans and Job and the phone rang and it was the prayer team leader of our church who called to tell me that a few women and her were praying for my wife's healing and for our family.  Right before they called I had this peace come over me.  You see, the night before I wrestled and cried and argued with God and asked him if this was His plan for my life.  After hours of tears and lack-less sleep the words that He was waiting on finally came across my lips - not my will, Lord, but your will be done.  You love her and you know what's best, she is yours, I give everything to you.  After the phone call, I smiled and sang praises to my God.  My wife was still in the hospital for another 30 hours, but I had this unbelievable peace.  What is really cool is that 2000 miles away, my mother-in-law, who was coming back from Florida had this exact time and exact peace that I did - God is in control!!!

After reading and pouring through Job, I had a new-found respect for this unbelievable servant of God:

• He knew Jesus Christ
• He believed that Jesus was to be Messiah and that He alone would be his intermediary
• He defended the weak and poor and the victims of this earth
• He was very content

At this point you are asking yourself, how did he know Jesus, well let me present the following scripture:

Job 9:33-35

New International Version (NIV)

³³ If only there were someone to mediate between us,     someone to bring us together, ³⁴ someone to remove God’s rod from me,     so that his terror would frighten me no more. ³⁵ Then I would speak up without fear of him,     but as it now stands with me, I cannot.

Job 16:19-21

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁹ Even now my witness is in heaven;     my advocate is on high. ²⁰ My intercessor is my friend^[a]     as my eyes pour out tears to God; ²¹ on behalf of a man he pleads with God     as one pleads for a friend.

Job 19:25

New International Version (NIV)

²⁵ I know that my redeemer^[a] lives,     and that in the end he will stand on the earth

Secondly, Job teaches us how we should live in our place in the world:

Job 29:7-17

New International Version (NIV)

⁷ “When I went to the gate of the city     and took my seat in the public square, ⁸ the young men saw me and stepped aside     and the old men rose to their feet; ⁹ the chief men refrained from speaking     and covered their mouths with their hands; ¹⁰ the voices of the nobles were hushed,     and their tongues stuck to the roof of their mouths. ¹¹ Whoever heard me spoke well of me,     and those who saw me commended me, ¹² because I rescued the poor who cried for help,     and the fatherless who had none to assist them. ¹³ The one who was dying blessed me;     I made the widow’s heart sing. ¹⁴ I put on righteousness as my clothing;     justice was my robe and my turban. ¹⁵ I was eyes to the blind     and feet to the lame. ¹⁶ I was a father to the needy;     I took up the case of the stranger. ¹⁷ I broke the fangs of the wicked     and snatched the victims from their teeth.

Some other verses that teach us how to "live"

• Romans 10:9-10 (NIV) ⁹ If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

• Colossians 3
• Romans 12

He knew the secret to life:

• It all comes from God
• Philippians

I don't ever want to have my faith tested like Job's and I thank God for the blessings in my life.  I have learned to be thankful for the testing of my faith in trials and tribulations.  Sometimes it really hurts especially when the one's we love sometimes are the one's who hurt us most, but then I remember - God is in control!!!

Blessings,

D

Top 10 Ways to Strengthen Your Walk

1)    Read the World Daily

• Be intentional in reading scripture
• Journal your reading with your thoughts
• Journal your reading with what the Holy Spirit reveals to you
• Pray – ask God to reveal His will for you each day

2)    Join a Men’s Group

• Find a men’s group that reads the bible
• Find a men’s group that discusses real life issues
• Find a men’s group that talks relationally
• Be open with that men’s group

3)    Write down your life story

• Where did you come from
• Where did you encounter God
• Where did you confess your sin and repent?
• How are you growing
• What is different about your life today
• Where do you think God is taking you
• Why is your life story so relevant in sharing God’s story

4)    Read the Book of Proverbs in 31 days (correlate with the day of the month(s)

5)    Read the Book of John to re-encounter God’s son, Jesus

6)    Fast

• When you fast, look healthy and be silent about it
• Ask God for him to speak to you through fasting
• Fast for something in particular
• Seek Him (through prayer, praise and worship and reading the Word)

7)    Ask someone to mentor you (find a Paul in your life)

8)    Find someone to pour your life into (give them time, and be honest with where you came from and what you struggle with) (find your Timothy)

9)    Be intentional in life through God’s Word

10) Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry

What is your top 10 list?

Blessings,

Dante

Remember the Alamo

Battle Summary:

During the early days of the Texas Revolution, a Texan force under Stephen F. Austin encircled the Mexican garrison in the town of San Antonio de Béxar. On December 11, 1835, after an eight-week siege, Austin's men were able to compel General Martín Perfecto de Cos to surrender. Occupying the town, the defenders were paroled and sent back to Mexico. The fall of Cos' command eliminated the last major Mexican force in Texas. Returning to friendly territory, Cos provided his superior, General Antonio López de Santa Anna, with information about the uprising in Texas.

Establishing his headquarters at San Luis Potosí, Santa Anna began assembling an army of 6,000 with the goal of marching north and putting down the revolt in Texas. In early 1836, after adding 20 guns to his command, he began marching north through Saltillo and Coahuila. To the north in San Antonio, Texan forces were fortifying the Misión San Antonio de Valero, also known as the Alamo. Possessing a large enclosed courtyard, the Alamo had first been occupied by Cos' men during siege of the town the previous fall. Initially manned by about 100 volunteers, the mission's garrison grew as January passed.

The Alamo was again reinforced on February 3, with the arrival of 29 men under Lt. Colonel William Travis. A few days later, the Alamo's commander, Colonel James C. Neill, departed to deal with an illness and left Travis in charge. Travis' ascent to command did not sit well with Jim Bowie, who led the volunteers, and had arrived on January 19. A renowned frontiersman, Bowie argued with Travis over who should lead until it was agreed that the former would command the volunteers and the latter the regulars. Another notable frontiersman arrived on February 8, when Davy Crockett rode into the Alamo with 12 men.

To the surprise of the defenders, Santa Anna's army arrived outside of San Antonio on February 23. Having marched through driving snow and foul weather, Santa Anna reached the town a month sooner than the Texans anticipated. Surrounding the mission, Santa Anna sent a courier requesting the Alamo's surrender. To this Travis responded by firing one of the mission's cannon. Seeing that the Texans planned to resist, Santa Anna laid siege to the mission. The next day, Bowie fell ill and full command passed to Travis. Badly outnumbered, Travis sent out riders asking for reinforcements.

Travis's calls went largely unanswered as the Texans lacked the strength to fight Santa Anna's larger army. As the days passed the Mexicans slowly worked their lines closer to the Alamo, with their artillery reducing the mission's walls. At 1:00 AM, on March 1, 32 men from Gonzales were able to ride through the Mexican lines to join the defenders. With the situation grim, legend states that Travis drew a line in the sand and asked all those willing to stay and fight to step over it. All except one did. At dawn on March 6, Santa Anna's men launched their final attack on the Alamo.

Flying a red flag and playing the El Degüello bugle call, Santa Anna signaled that no quarter would be given to the defenders. Sending 1,400-1,600 men forward in four columns they overwhelmed the Alamo's tiny garrison. One column, led by General Cos, broke through the mission's north wall and poured into the Alamo. It is believed that Travis was killed resisting this breach. As the Mexicans entered the Alamo, brutal hand-to-hand fighting ensued until almost the entire garrison had been killed. Records indicate that seven may have survived the fighting, but were summarily executed by Santa Anna.

---------------

The odds were unbeatable and the men that were defending the Alamo were estimated between 180 to 200 people against an unstoppable force of 6000 Mexican troops.  The outcome was severe and only women and children who were in the church were eventually freed.  The Christian walk is a lot like this.  Our battle cry is Remember the Cross, which was the instrument that saved us from an eternity of punishment for our sins.  Remember Jesus Christ who came, died and rose again for our resurrection.  Remember the love that God has for us that He gave us His only Son - Hallelujah!

If you do not think, as a Christian, that we are at war, then you are kidding yourself.  Ephesians 6, "12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSFWJycQkb0]

What then, if we are really at war, should we just live each day to satisfy ourselves and to let the world move on?  What if, just what if, we really did have an enemy who wanted to destroy us - no surrender, no prisoners to be taken, that this is a battle for our very souls - then what?

2 Timothy 4:1-3

English Standard Version (ESV)

Preach the Word

4 I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound[a] teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions,

1 Peter 3:15

English Standard Version (ESV)

15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,

What I learned this past week when visiting the Alamo:

• Worrying beyond the point of action causes nothing but stress and worry and inaction
• Trusting a greater sense of urgency (call it valor, integrity, righteousness) listening to that voice that gives us right from wrong - make a stand when you hear that voice
• You cannot measure cost based on what others think you will lose
• Choose this day who you will serve,  as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord
• Never give up, never surrender and trust Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength
• Have others around you who you can trust
• In the end, God wins, therefore, we win

On our drive back to the airport, on a Spring Break trip that took us from Chicago to Dallas, to San Antonio, to Austin, back to Dallas and then home to Chicago - my family and I had a chance to talk about the Bible, about our hopes for them when they became adults and how important their choice in faith is to their mom and dad:

Things my wife and I told my kids:

• We choose our friends, our family is forever and we are to love and respect each other
• We want our children to own our faith in Jesus Christ, therefore, I walks have to be real
• We want them to grow up to be independent, confident, and equipped to navigate the daily jaunts of life - we have to live it and model it for them
• We can agree to disagree, but we still have to respect each other
• No matter what society and life tells us, the Word (the Bible) is true and awesome.
• When talking to them about other religions, we told them not to put down other religions, but rather, to challenge others to have a real relationship with Jesus Christ, not to just be a "follower" but instead a Disciple!

The best thing about this trip was the time that my wife and I got to spend with our kids and how we were able to talk about real life issues both in life and our faith through these circumstances.

I am not sure about you, but today I am remembering the cross, Jesus and how much God loves us for what he did for us!

Blessings,

Dante

Crowns....

Lately, I have been mentoring 2 men (and walking with a high school student) and have been reading James and Timothy with two of the men.  I have been intrigued with these two writers, and as you know, James is one of my favorite books of the Bible.  The one thing that has been catching my attention these days is the reference to crowns that we, as Christians, can strive for:  The Crown of Life, The  Incorruptible Crown, the Crown of Rejoicing, The Crown of Righteousness and the Crown of Glory.  We are not only called to be disciples, we are called to holy priests.  We are called to finish well.  This isn't a sprint where we are done in three years and are left out in the fields to graze until retirement.  Jesus want more, for he paid the ultimate price.

In James 1:12, we read, "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.  Revelation 2:10 states, "Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life."  James tells us in his first chapter to consider it pure joy when we face trials and tribulations that if we do so we will persevere and grow in spiritual maturity.

Do not take this crown for granted, it is something that God promises us if we endure.  I believe that this is not saying that we don't fall short or fail or miss opportunities to learn and to be an effective witness.  Jesus tells us in the book of John that nothing can take us away from the Father once we are saved.  Our sins are forgiven  (sins of the past, the present and the future are bought and paid for) there is nothing else we can do to earn this grace and mercy.  This crown is meant for our testing (as disciples) and for our endurance to receive this crown.

The Incorruptible Crown is found in 1 Thessalonians 2:19, "For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you?"    1 Corinthians 9:24-27 states, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. ²⁵ Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. ²⁶ So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. ²⁷ But I discipline my body and keep it under control,^[a] lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."  Some reference have been made to this crown for those who are good and faithful servants.  These are men and women who can be trusted to do the task that God sets before them.  I would even inject the Book of James into this by saying don't just hear the words (of the Bible) do what they say.

The third crown to strive for is the Crown of Glory.  1 Peter 5:4English Standard Version (ESV) ⁴ And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.   I believe that this is the crown for those who faithfully teach and preach God's word.  This is a crown for those who are the first chair Christians.  They are engaged and not only engaged but are in the game and their sleeves are rolled up.  For we are 10,  But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. ⁸ We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; ¹⁰ always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies."

The Crown of Righteousness, 2 Timothy 4:8, "Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing." The choice of the disciple in this process is to move away from the old self and strive to live in our new self.  That is, one who is humble and willing to say that even though I still sin, I keep a humble heart and repenting heart attitude toward my daily walk.  I call this crown the "trust" crown.  Proverbs 3, "5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,  and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  7 Be not wise in your own eyes;  fear the Lord, and turn away from evil."  The most awesome thing about this crown is that there is nothing we do to earn it.  That is, to say, that because of Jesus's (his sacrifice and resurrection) righteousness has been imputed on us - how awesome is that!

The final crown that we should strive for is the Crown of Rejoicing.  1 Thessalonians 2:19, "For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you?"  Philippians 4:4, "4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice."  We often find people around us, books, television and movies asking the proverbial question, "Why are we here?  What is my purpose in this life?"  In Luke 15:7 we get a much clearer endgame perspective, "7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."  Also in Revelation 21:4, "4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”  This crown is often called the "soul-winner's crown".  This side of heaven we will truly never know how much our lives impact others.  When you put that into perspective it is a huge task and ask for us to follow Jesus's model with his disciples, that is, to go and make disciples throughout all the earth.  He doesn't want just followers (benchwarmers) rather, he wants DISCIPLES!

I am not sure about you, but the idea that I can have the opportunity to pursue 5 crowns through my christian walk simply energizes me to finish well.  The thing about this pursuit for me is that none are possible to achieve on my own volition.  This is a gift from God through His Son, Jesus Christ, who paid for my sins and because of his death and resurrection, I am free to pursue these crowns.  The joy of this is that I can have the opportunity to take these crown (like the Elders around heaven) and throw them at the feet of Jesus - For only He is worthy.

To God be the Glory Forever and Ever, Amen.Blessings,

Dante

By the way, which crown are you pursuing now?

Defending your faith against pornography - Are you a true disciple...

por·nog·ra·phy

[pawr-nog-ruh-fee]  Show IPA

noun

obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, especially those having little or no artistic merit.

Word Origin & Historypornography

1857, "description of prostitutes," from Fr. pornographie, from

Gk.pornographo s " (one) writing of prostitutes," from porne "prostitute,"originally "bought, purchased" (with an original notion, probably of"female slave sold for prostitution;" related to pernanai "to sell," fromPIE root per- "to traffic

-----

I am not the man that I used to be!  That being said, I struggle daily with sin and temptation and trying not to follow the ways of this world.  Below you will note scripture references that will be used for this post.  Before I begin with the subject line of this post, I wanted to clarify a few points:

• There is nothing I can do to earn salvation
• I am a sinner saved by grace
• I have confessed that I am a sinner, that I need Jesus, that I believe that he was born of a virgin, lived a perfect life, died on a cross and rose again and now sits at the right hand of God the Father (Romans 10:9)
• Because Jesus is my personal savior, the sins of my past, present and future are forgiven - ONCE & FOR ALL TIME!
• Nothing I can do on my own, all things come from God above
• My call to discipleship is my sanctification - to turn from this flesh and to do the will of God (share the good news, let the Holy Spirit who dwells in me sanctify me, to finish well)

Men, I want to state one thing about pornography - It is from the pit of hell!  It is not God's will that we corrupt our temples (our bodies) by defiling it with obscenity and crude acts of behavior.  To be a true disciple of Christ is to avoid the ways of this world.  How can I say this, simple, Jesus not only points us to the 10 commandments, he takes it further.  First of all, he says that we should not commit adultery, but he tells us that if we look lustfully upon another woman that we have already committed adultery in our hearts.  He says that we are not to murder our brother, yet he goes further and says that if we hate our brother we have already committed murder.  There is no minced words here. We are called to be holy.  We are called to be pure and we are called to avoid the ways of this world.

Impure thoughts are rampant in pornography.  It feeds our desires and destroys the marriage bed - meaning pornography takes more and more and gives less and less.  Images scar our brains and defile our temples (our bodies).  By feeding this lust, we corrupt our purity.

When we give into these fleshly desires we leave ourselves wide open for spiritual attack - we are weakened - we are neutralized as disciples of Christ.  If you say that you don't see a problem with pornography then I beg you to defend your position against scripture - against the verses listed below.

Some disturbing facts about porn:More Alarming Facts:

• 35% of all internet downloads are pornographic
• 43% of all internet users view pornographic material (1 out of 3 are female)
• For every 10 men in church, 5 are struggling with pornography
• Sex & porn are among the 5 top search terms for kids under 18
• The average age of first internet exposure and pornography is 11 years old
• Half of all hotel guests order pornographic movies
• 38% of adults think it is morally acceptable to look at pictures of nudity and sexual behavior
• The pornography industry, according to conservative estimates, brings in $57 billion per year, of which the United States is responsible for $12 billion.

(more stats available at xxxchurch.com)

5 ways to help you from Porn:

1. Get accountability in your life (brothers in a men's bible study, software for your computer, for your smartphones and so on)
2. Memorize Scripture - Job 31:1 - I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully upon another woman
3. Get professional biblical counseling
4. Confess your sin(s) to your brothers
5. Pray and read God's word daily (and move temptations away from your grasp)

Scripture references:

Matthew 5:28 ESV / 616 helpful votes

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 ESV / 487 helpful votes

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Psalm 119:37 ESV / 459 helpful votes

Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV / 402 helpful votes

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 John 2:16 ESV / 273 helpful votes

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

Philippians 4:8 ESV / 164 helpful votes

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Hebrews 13:4 ESV / 147 helpful votes

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Ephesians 6:11-17 ESV / 145 helpful votes

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.

1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV / 136 helpful votes

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Psalm 119:9-10 ESV / 129 helpful votes

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

Galatians 5:19 ESV / 128 helpful votes

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,

Proverbs 7:21-27 ESV / 121 helpful votes

With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths,

1 Corinthians 6:9 ESV / 103 helpful votes

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,

Job 31:1 ESV / 100 helpful votes

“I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?

When to listen, when to follow and when to lead

When to listen, when to follow and when to leadTop 5 quotes from Leadership

"A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment."

"Divide and rule, a sound motto. Unite and lead, a better one."

"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity."

"Being a leader is like being a lady, if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't."

"Lead, follow, or get out-of-the-way."

This morning a group of roughly 50 men met for our Saturday morning men’s bible study (we call ourselves:  Men of Faith).  This is a very special group that has been growing over the past five years (spiritually) and it has been a joy and honor to be a leader in this group.  From 6:30am to 6:40am we sing praises to God.  From 6:40am to 7am we have to facilitators that lead discussion (which has scripture and usually a theme) and then from 7am to 7:30am we have 2 large group discussions.  From 7:30am to 8am we have small group prayer groups where some men confess, some men ask for prayer and some men listen more while others share more, but in any case we are carrying each other’s burdens through word, prayer and deed.  Again, it is a joy to be part of something so special. I have been walking with some men, some that are being mentored by me and others that are in accountability with me.  If you are not doing this then I would challenge you to find a “Paul” in your life (someone who speaks truth in love and yet holds you to biblical standards and truth.  I would also encourage you to find a “Timothy” in your life so you can pour into them as your “Paul” is pouring into you.  Through this process I have been sharpened, challenged and blessed to see the growth in men’s lives (including mine).  It is a humbling experience, yet so very rewarding.

Through LegacyDad.com, and through walking with men who are not part of men of faith, I feel sadness and compassion for men who are trying to do life as Lone Wolf McQuade.  The state of the average man in this world, spiritually, is very frightening.  In 2 Timothy 3  (NIV) we read, “3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”  I am saddened by how men our portrayed in this world as passive and as followers instead of leaders and men of integrity.  In talking with some of the men I walk with, it is almost as if the men in today’s culture are comfortable being relegated as the “follower” in marriage and parenthood instead of the spiritual leader that God calls us to be.

How do we move men from being “pew-sitters” to “heavy-hitters” in the kingdom of God?  How do we encourage, comfort and urge or brothers to live a life worthy of God?  How do we set in motion the things that God the father wants and expects from us instead of us serving ourselves?  This brings me to this post:  When to listen, when to follow and when to lead.

When to listen:  (James 1:19)

• Be quick to listen, be slow to speak and be slow to become angry – this will save you years of heartache and frustration.
• Read God’s word daily – meditate on his word, pray over his word and study and take notes on God’s word
• Pray daily – walk with godly men and pray for each other and for each other’s needs
• Spend quiet time with the Lord – listen for his ever so quiet voice.  Hear the words that He speaks through his Spirit

When to follow:

• Turn around – When you think you are leading, then turn around and look to see if anyone is following you?  If they are not, then quietly get back “in line” and follow leaders that God has put before us.  Humble yourself before a Holy God and be content with what He has given us.
• If you are not affirmed – if leadership of the church (Pastors, elders and lay-leaders) does not affirm you then don’t rebel or find discord instead anchor yourselves to Hebrews 13:17 which puts the onus on these leaders.  That is, if they are not in line with God’s will, then they will have to give an account for leading others astray – woe to these leaders!
• Be honest - If you are serving two masters – you cannot lead others in God’s kingdom if you are being led astray by sin and trying to serve a Holy God.  Please don’t mistake my words here by thinking that I am saying that you have to be perfect to lead, I would rather tell you to flee from such leaders.  What I am saying is to be honest.  Repent and confess and let God direct your life to leadership.  (One exception:  Dad’s this does not apply to you in your home, we all sin, we all fall short, BUT as dad’s we are called to be prophets, priests and kings of our house and children – DO NOT SHIRK this responsibility.

When to lead:

• Turn around – When you think you are leading, then turn around and look to see if anyone is following you?  If they are, then get down on your knees and ask for God’s leading, ask for His wisdom and discernment when you lead others.  Humble yourself before a Holy God and be content with what He has given you.
• If you are affirmed – if the leaders of your church (Pastors, elders and lay-leaders) affirm you then quietly pray and seek God’s approval in this process.  Take a spiritual gifts test (click here to take a free test) to see if your gifts that God gives all Christians qualify you to be a leader.
• Be Accountable – surround yourself with other godly men and have a wise counsel of others around you to keep you humble and encouraged through journey
• If you are humble – the mark of a true leader is his/her humility and their walk with Jesus Christ

When it is all said and done, remember this quote by Thomas Paine, “Lead, follow, or get of the way.”  When Jesus began his ministry he chose 12 men who became his disciples.  He walked with them for three years pouring into them, teaching them and living life with them daily.  I marvel at the New Testament how when Jesus called the 70 disciples to go two by two unto the world to proclaim the gospel – I don’t know about you, but I said to myself, “Self, where did these 70 disciples come from?”  Clearly, they were with Jesus and the twelve along the way.  They were watching, learning and being trained by Jesus and his disciples.  When they were ready, Jesus called them to task.

This is a great example to all of us.  Be humble in all circumstances.  We are to encourage, comfort and urge others to live a life worthy of God.  In all you do, let go and let God lead your path.  Be content in all circumstances.

Thoughts?

Blessings,

Dante

R E S P E C T

In the song by Aretha Franklin called R E S P E C T, we see her sing these words, "R E S P E C T Find out what it means to me R E S P E C T Take care, T C B...Oh, a little respect Yeah, baby, I want a little respect Now, I get tired, but I keep on tryin' Runnin' out of foolin', I ain't lyin' Yes, respect, all I need is respect..."

Major stresses in marriage are:

• Money
• Sex
• Children
• Time
• Household demands

Major mishaps in marriage

• outside influences/improper relationships
• lack of communication
• lack of intimacy
• broken trust
• being selfish
• pornography

As a men's ministry leader, an elder and a husband and father and a legacy dad, I can tell you from my limited experience that I have seen all spectrums of relationships - both good and bad and some in between.  There is no clear cut blame to either spouse because if we are honest then we can all say that it takes two to break or make a marriage (barring adultery and brutality, of course).  I would like to modify the last statement by changing it to say that it really takes three to make a marriage - now don't go nuts on me here because when I say three, as Christians, I mean to say that we need Christ in the center of our marriages.

Signs of healthy fruit in a marriage

• Communication
• Honesty (even when it hurts - but not brutal rather with respect)
• Intimacy
• Friendship
• Loyalty
• Husband or wife in the other's corner
• Husband or wife being the biggest fan of the other

And so much more fruit

Let's take a look at what scripture says for Legacy Dads (for those of us that our husbands):

Ephesians 5:21-33

New International Version (NIV)

Instructions for Christian Households

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^{[b] 32} This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Men, don't miss this here:  A lot of us get stuck on JUST the first part of this, "wives SUBMIT..." that we forget the rest of the command.  We ought to love our wives (do not be harsh, do not be cruel, do not neglect) and we should love our wives as we take care of our own bodies.  We are no longer self, but one flesh - this is key!  Our bodies no longer belong to ourselves, but to our spouses.  Men, remember that Christ gave himself up for the church, he died to self and sacrificed himself for his Bride - the Church - which is what we ought to do for our wives.

Let's put it this way:

1 Peter 3:7

New International Version (NIV)

⁷ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Respect does not mean:

• "Listen to me, I am the man and the Bible says that you have to SUBMIT to me, woman"
• "I am in charge"
• "How dare you not respect me"
• Holding love from one another
• Being cruel and cold to the other

I do not want to broad brush this here, but in talking with both men and women, one can conclude that it is not rocket science in figuring ways out to foster a healthy marriage.  As we are each created fearfully and wonderfully and we are all different, please do not take this as final.  For the most part:

Men want:

• To be Respected
• To be Loved and to feel trusted
• To feel secure
• To be intimate
• Romance (even though we may not know how to be romantic)

Women want:

• To be loved
• To feel secure
• To be valued and respected
• To be listened to (the art of true conversation)

Biblical Respect means:  To put Christ in the center of our marriage.  We are to die to selves in our sanctification pathway.  We are to put away the old self and put on the new self.  We could learn to listen to one another, to love one another and to respect each other for who we are.  That means that I do not expect my wife to become what I want her to be for me, nor should my wife expect me to change into someone that she expects me to be.  We are who we are.  That doesn't mean that we can keep our old selves on, rather, we are to put on Christ and to die to self as Christ died for us.  When we exemplify this then we truly understand agape love.  We understand God's plan for marriage.  We can understand that marriage is a blessing and not a curse.

So what do I do if I am not doing marriage God's way:

• Repent
• Pray
• Do not expect your spouse to change over night because you found God's pathway and repented
• Serve
• Serve more
• Love
• Love more
• Pray continually through this process that your spouse will be led by Christ to change your marriage (knowing that we cannot)

So what if you have this biblical marriage:

• Pray more
• Love more
• Serve more
• Reach out to couples who need this love and respect

Your thoughts?

Blessings,

D

Encouragement - Verse of the day

Philippians 4:6-7

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Some questions for you:

• What are you worried about?
• What do you need prayer about?
• What do you need to confess about?
• Who is holding you accountable?
• Who do you have praying for you?
• How are you guarding your heart?
• How are you guarding your mind?

Romans 12:1-2

New International Version (NIV)

A Living Sacrifice

12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Colossians 3:1-10

New International Version (NIV)

Living as Those Made Alive in Christ

3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ, who is your^[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

⁵ Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶ Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^{[b] 7} You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸ But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹ Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰ and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

In all that we do - pray! Pray often!  Pray before, during and after.

Blessings,

Dante

PS- It is that time again- please send Lance and I some topics that you want us to talk about email us here:  dante@legacydad.com  and lance@legacydad.com